Showing posts with label Bangalore Auto Drivers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bangalore Auto Drivers. Show all posts

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Bangalore Autorickshaws Principles of Movement


Bangalore Autorickshaw principles of movement or Autocracy

People criticise Auto drivers in Bangalore. All these are false and baseless. You have to just understand the Autorichsaw principles of motion and once you understand that, COMMUTING in Bangalore with the HELP of Autorickshaws is the HEALTHIEST. Here are the principles of Autocracy:-

a. This principle applies for a distance of 3 kms. If you want to travel more than 3 kms, reapply the principles from point b or concur with points at e and f.

b. Walk a distance from your house to the main road because Autorickshaws’ don’t come to inner roads. The chances of finding an auto is 0.5% and the chances of him wanting to go in the opposite direction of your destination is 75%.

c. Skip the autos in the stand; you should understand it is a STAND  not GO. There are 95% chances that the Auto Pilot will give you a nasty stare for disturbing his intellectual conversation with co-pilots.

d. Walk further, if you find an auto standing for no reason, don’t disturb him, either he is having a nap after a day of hardly any work or chatting on the mobile. There are 87%  chances that he won’t even stare at you.

e. Walk along, if you find any auto just meandering along, put your hand out and gesture him to stop. There are 56% chances he will agree to come to your destination but the chance of him demanding 3 times the fare is 99%.

f. Walk further, you will find an auto driver ready to come to any destination you ask him to. There are 78% chances that his auto meter will outdo Ussain Bolt.

g. Ignoring him move further and you will find an auto driver who is polite, honest and service oriented, the chances of which are 3% but he will be of no use to you since you have already walked 3 kms.

If you skip point e and f subject to the condition that point g does not happen, you will be the most healthiest individual around.

Sunday, 2 December 2012

A sarcastic poem on the Bangalore Auto Driver


Bangalore auto driver moves like king of streets
In the middle of the road, abruptly he turns
To find an elusive passenger, blocking traffic he glides
Listening to his favorite music he swirls across the road like pikes

For many it is not about the passenger
It is not about the fare
It is not reaching someone somewhere
It is all about chatting with friends without a care

Request, plead or urge him to come there
With disdain looks like a maharaja of the yore
He will with his eyes suggest what  a sore
And continue with his snore

There are a obliging few
Their fare meters are as honest and resolute as the morning dew
There is no rhyme or rhythm in its upward move
Before you realise you have pledged a fortune.

The facilities he expects from the Goverment are royal
The language he uses is diabolical
Honk your way  is his moral.
When he hits your vehicle, it is normal
When you hit his vehicle, his tribe, surrounds you like a mongrel

Somebody stop this three wheeled malice
Metro, mono or an improved BMTC will suffice 

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