A Study On The Plastic Bag And Indian Family

 `Don't be plastic' is a cliche monotonously being used for someone who is emotionally cold. However, something plastic conveyed a lot of emotions in an Indian family, and it was the now scorned `plastic bags'.  The meme below is a true representative of that fact.

Image obtained from internet and does not belong to me.

Each household worth its salt had a panoply of plastic bags. Bags were stored in different plastic bags, as per their genre. Bags used to be held under beds, in almirahs and most of them in a big bag and hung to the kitchen's hinges. There were the lucky bags, stylish bags, the sturdy ones, and the cheap ones. Needless to say, the bag from a foreign country in which the stray relative brought some gift was the pride of the family.

The bag from the luckiest shop used to be the vault for the precious documents of the household. Clothes purchase from big brands was stored in the same cover, just to enhance the family prestige and as a seal of authenticity. And it hardly mattered that nobody got to see the cover in which the garment was stored. I have seen people pleading with a salesman for an extra bag.

In families prone to confabulations, job-seekers in the households got the bag from a prominent brand to carry their testimonials to an interview. It was believed that such an act ennobled the individual, his education, and also his family.

The sturdy bags were reserved for buying vegetables from the market. Usually, these bags came along with the footwear you brought. They were also used to carry a lunch box to school and offices. Few of them who could not afford school bags used plastic bags instead. There was always a plastic bag in every office/ school goers lunch box, carrying bag to double up as a rain cap to counter the omnipresent rains in Bangalore.

The cheap ones found their purpose to dispose of garbage or give it to visitors to carry stuff. If a visitor was given a precious plastic bag, it indicated their propinquity to the family.

Today plastic bags have given way to the more dangerous `polypropylene bags'. Like our beliefs, we have jumped from the scorching desert into the mouth of a volcano.

What is your take?

Suggestions on Food Treats /Gifts You Can Give This Deepavali For People Whom You Don't Love

These food suggestions are just for fun and not meant to offend anyone. I have excluded many ideas given the offended era we are living in


1. Marie Biscuits
2. Year long supply of Oats
3. Sabudana Khichdi
4. Upmav
5. A gunny bag full of Mosambi
6. Desi Noodles
7. Momos without Onion and Garlic
8. Mutton Biryani made in German style
9. Ragi Kesari Bath
10. Idly with non spicy sambar
11. Decaffeinated Coffee Powder
12. Karela Samosa.
13. Gluten Free Egg less cake
14. Diet Gulab Jamoons

Priceless Thoughts About Mutton Biryani From Across The World

Mutton Biryani is not just rice and a few juicy pieces of mutton in it. It is the epitome of taste. It is aroma’s expression. It is palette’s best face. It is the culmination of all culinary skills. It is loved by people next only to their family. Various people have said various things about a Mutton Biryani, here is the spoof of what has been said by many across the world:-

Guru of BOMB (Bakths of Mutton Biryani) Activist

                A Mutton Mukth Biryani is not a Biryani.

Tanzanian Zen Master

There is not a perfect MB, there cannot  be a perfect MB, not a perfect day to have a MB, to enjoy a MB you require unrequited love for MB.

American Leader

I would have never thought of building a wall, if MB was a Mexican Dish.

Chinese Hoodoo Expert

People who are possessed by the taste of MB cannot be conquered by Hoodoo

Solitary Goat Activist of Oymyakon

My religion says that Goat is the alma mater of my genes, I cannot eat MB. That’s why I oppose Goat slaughter.

Con Godman From Pennsylvania

Neither can you spot the hidden cameras in a room nor can you hide the aroma of a MB in a room

North Korean Despot

My scientists have perfected the technology to test fire rockets till Saturn by my cooks are not able to master a Hyderabadi Biryani.

News Reader Who Suffers From Verbal Diahorrea.

                If I am not questioning on behalf of the nation, remember my mouth is stuffed with MB

Indian Cricket Team’s best Phinisher

                It’s for no reason that I am called the best finisher, I don’t leave beyond MB for anyone.

Eskimo Leader

                We are offering Igloo home stay with Antratica Style Mutton Biryani.

Slovakian Style Diva

Size zero matters but not more than the taste buds that a MB triggers

Swiss Bank Manager

                If somebody can teach us how to come with a Swiss MB, we don’t mind giving the names of tax defaulters from India who have stacked their money here

Fuji’s Funny  Leader

                Selling Biryani and especially good ones is not just an employment but service to the God.

               

                Reproducing all the nice things that have been said about  Mutton Biryani will make this blog lengthier than a South Indian Breakfast Menu. The long and short of it is, there cannot be noble pursuits in life than preparing and eating a Mutton Biryani.

I too agree "Traffic Safety Is Weak" But Why Put A Board And Publicise That

Appreciate Inflation

Don't criticise price rise

Price has got value because it always does rise

Priceless has got a value because that thing is beyond even price.

Your eyes always look for the price

Rice is consumed limited because it carries a price

If there was no price rise lazy bums like me won't rise

Price , it maybe irritating like lice but makes popular the crook at the cost of fooled wise

Airtel Customer Service Sarcasmed By A Customer

Looking For Venture Capitalists To Invest In My Matriomonial Website Ideas

The inventor of internet would have never imagined one day it will become omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. Today life without it cannot be conceived. Governments swear by it, and those who swear against the government also use it to swear against the government.

                When matrimony became available on the net, I first thought it was a fad that will die away without a trace; however, I was proved wrong. The growth of matrimony on Internet in India is only rivaled by memes. What is pitiable is the plethora of community based matrimonial websites that are available. C’mon give me a break, people use a technological invention made by a person who doesn’t belong to their community, to keep alive their community.

                I hate community based marriages next only to fairness creams. Marriage is just a meeting of bodies to continue the human race, emotions apart. If I was a billionaire, I would create a plethora of matrimonial websites which would go like this:-

i.                     Free wifi hunters please marry.com

ii.                   Vegans who hate vegetarians matrimony.com

iii.                  Part time vegetarians get married.com

iv.                 Grammar nazi met your match.com

v.                   Party Gate Crashers get wedded.com

vi.                 Duck Faced Selfie Fans Get Hitched.com

vii.                Snap chat users marriage.com

viii.              Get Drunk and remain wedded. Com

ix.                 Indian Best Selling Authors Fans Make Your big Mistake.com

x.                   Momos Lovers Shaadhi Kar le .com

xi.                 DSLR Dummy Photographers Get Clicked.com

xii.                Startup Owners Start Living together. Com

xiii.              Cab Sharers Share Your Life.com

xiv.              Online Discount Seekers Get Discounted.com

xv.               Pathetic Marathon Runners Start A Life Marathon .com

xvi.              Sanskar Abusers Get A Life.com

These matrimonial websites seem a better idea of matching couples than based on caste, community, language, region and religion. Any VCs looking to invest in any one of these websites can leave behind an abuse in the comments column, I shall get in touch with you.

What Married Men Mean When They Ask?

When I love Mathematics

I love mathematics as long it is
adding my income
subtracting my taxes
multiplying my assets and
dividing my liabilities

The Mice That Chased The Cat

I recently went to a friend's house and saw a cat which was ferociously moving in the compound. Impressed I entered his home and the cat followed us. Soon a mice came out and the cat started running.  I put down my cup of tea and observed that the mice was ferociously chasing the cat across the home. Preplexed I asked him "What is happening?". He took a deep breath and with a sigh said "The mice is my wife's pet and the cat mine, should I say more".

Funny Poetries On `Who Am I"?

They said the theme is `Who am I?’

I thought about it, till my grey cells went dry

Inside my soul everything is grey, sleazy and full of greed

I said to myself, if I have to say, WTF – What to Fake.

 I said to myself, WTF – Why Try and Fail

I decided to describe myself, front to hind.

I shall exercise discretion

So here goes the description

Scalp sparsely populated, the few available strands coloured.

Inside the scalp near vacuum

Eyes which never lie but full of sty

Ears which welcome complimentary stuff, to taunts they turn deaf.

Face Oily, Nose twiddly and Tongue loves it spicy

Neck lengthy, spondylosis its best buddy

Spine twisted, never in the presence of boss it is straightened.

Heart, full of sleaze, greed, and treachery.

Stomach ever ready, to devour a biryani.

Here, I shall exercise my discretion

Knees which are weak, creak and tweak in motion.

Feets which are very fleet, to run across the street, when wife comes to beat.

My inside story is mediocre

I’m hollow at the core

No six pack to make me a cynosure

You can now wake up from your snore

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Whom Am I?

One Question which will never get an honest answer

Never a question pleases anyone

Definitely not this one

Breathtaking it would be, if a pilot asked it mid-air.

Heart stopping it would be, if a surgeon asked it after opening a patient’s skull.

Refreshing it would be, if elected representatives asked themselves.

Soul slapping it would be, if freedom of speech walked up and asked those who get offended with it.

Fitting it would be, if calf asked the self appointed sons and daughters of `Gau Mata’.

Catastrophic it would be, Catastrophic it would be

If a husband angrily asked at the end of his wife’s shopping voyage.

Sataric Verses on Auto Drivers, Stock Markets, Marriage and Inflation

Bengaluru Auto Drivers

Moves like king of streets

Abruptly he turns

For many it’s not about the fare

It’s not about reaching someone somewhere

It is all about chatting with friends without a care

Request or urge him to come there

With looks like a maharaja of the yore

He with his eyes will suggest you are an eye sore

And continue with his snore

 There are a obliging few

meters as honest and resolute as the morning dew

no rhyme or rhythm for its upward move

Before you realise you have pledged a fortune.

Stock Markets

BULLS AND BEARS WE ARE THEY SAY

YOUR MONEY IS WHAT THEY PREY

AT OUR COST, THEY MAKE HAY

THE FUNDAMENTALS ARE STRONG SAID ONE EXPERT

ANOTHER SAID, CHARTS ARE WAITING TO SPURT

INVEST FOR THE LONG TERM SAID MANY

ALL BOOKED THEIR PROFITS AND TOOK MY LAST PENNY

HERE WE ARE THE LAMBS

BELIEVING IN MARGINS AND DERATIVES

NOT READING THE DISCLAIMERS

ONLY BELIEVING IN THE STOCK TIPS

Marriage

Marriage, Marriage, the eternal mirage.

Begins in a garden of urge,

Soon turns into a ring of umbrage

Having babies is the default result

Rearing them is the life-long effect.

Remaining committed is the vow

Doing so in devil’s paradise is the woe.

Like my relatives and unlike yours is a couple’s mantra

Ridiculing each others’ is their agenda

Mutual distrust is what they share

Ego massaging is what they care

Marriage, Marriage, the riveting mirage

Arranged or love, without emotional bondage

becomes a horrible sausage

Inflation

Has no logic or reason

Everyday reduces my ration

Economists say it is good for economy

They speak so to improve their economy.

Inflation is like one’s spouse

Always irritating like a louse.

Some say it is due to increased money supply

For everything, a loan I have to apply

In the grammar of inflation

Dal is the interjection

Saving is the adverb

Apple is eaten only in the proverb.

When a Husband gives money to his wife, what do we call it??

The title is demeaning. Before feminists friends jump at me, I would like to request them to read this piece of writing till the end. There’s some fun but nothing which is disrespectful of women.

I recently received this whatsapp message and thought it would be fitting to answer it in my own sarcastic way.

ANSWER THIS ONE?:

Money has different names !!! In church it’s called (offering), in school it’s (fee), in marriage it's called (dowry), in divorce (alimony), when u owe someone it’s (debt ), when you pay the government (tax), in court (fines), civil servant retirees (pension) boss to workers (salary), master to subordinates (wages), when you borrow from bank (loan), when you offer after a service (tip), to kidnappers (ransom), illegally received in the name of service (bribe).
The question is "when a Husband gives it to his Wife what do we call it??

Is it a fee?

Yes, a wife thinks that before marriage her husband did not know how to eat, talk, dress, save, and what not. She is the angel who made him a creature acceptable in civilization and hence it is a fee.

Is it alimony?

There goes an old joke; you don’t know the value of your wife until a judge fixes it.

Is it a tax?

It is when you take them for shopping and you also pay tax to the government when they shop. This the most stringent form of double taxation.

Is it a ransom?

Dear Husbands, don’t you pay up a ransom whenever your cylindrical case of skin is at its full glory and wifey is not interested in deflating it.

Is it a fine?

Yes, when you have had the drunken revelries with friends or want to watch that football or cricket match, you do pay a fine.

Is it a bribe?

When you want your parents to stay with you or want to pay for your sibling’s education or even want to treat your relatives at home, better learn to bribe.

Don’t even think of using terms like wages, salary, tip, etc., unless you don’t want to see your wife for a substantial period of time due to eye injury caused by her punches.

Jokes apart, a wife does make her husband. I attribute a lot of my progress to my wonderful wife. I’m able to crack relentless jokes on the relationship between a husband and wife only because I have an understanding wife at home.

If a mother dies leaving behind young children their future usually goes haywire but if a father dies, more often than not, the kids reach pinnacle of success. The mental and physical strength of a woman cannot be matched by a man.

So, is it necessary for me to say that the money paid by a husband to his wife is an offering?

A dreamy girl, a sleazy man, a valentine dinner and the moral police - A satarical short story

This was not what John & Srujana had anticipated when they had come for a dinner on Valentine Day in ` My Favorite’ (MF) restaurant which was in the stronghold city of `Mujhe Bharath Chaman Chaiye’ (MBCC). Both had come to `That City’ on business, John from US of A & Srujana from `Silly Corn City’.

Both worked for the same company. Srujana had an overwhelming crush for John, more overwhelming than the stink of uncleared garbage in her city. John did not mind a few night caps with Srujana but marriage was the last thing on his mind, even after the thought of refraining from dyeing his hopelessly grey 40 summers old hairs. Srujana though, had marriage on her mind. Other than John’s big balance, his sense of humour and great looks proved the secondary and tertiary reasons of Srujana’s burning desire for John.

It is the creative duty of every writer to add more than a few words to fill the pages and in this endeavour it’s his creative freedom to often drift away from the story, even to the extent of not informing the reader what exactly John and Srujana had not anticipated when they came for a quite dinner to `My Favourite’ restaurant. Writers do have self realisation, and yours truly is no exception.

When John and Srujana had come to a dinner on Valentine Day in `MF’ restaurant, they had not anticipated that.  If your patience is wearing thin, I don’t blame you and don’t intend to prolong the non-existent suspense. What they had not anticipated was the insistence by `MBCC’ group that they get married because they were dating on Valentine Day, which was against Indian Culture. The cries of individual freedom and privacy fell on deaf ears of MBCC activists. Earlier this group had vowed that they would marry off any couple found dating on Valentine day. John was forcibly married off to Srujana and the very next day their marriage was also registered. There was no escape and reluctantly though, John accepted Srujana as his wife. Before every happy ending there is an eventful middle (nothing inappropriate should be understood) so said the Chinese scholar or the Persian king or was it the Russian reformer, whoever said it, what matters is, this is the phrase which I intend to use for dwelling upon the past of Srujana.

Srujana was a happy and gay (meant in the sense of the old world) girl. In a country where sixty year olds head youth wings it would not be inappropriate to call Srujana, a thirty year old, as a `girl’. She was as addicted to Mills and Boon, as much as film stars are to gossips about them. She always dreamt of a rich, handsome guy with a sense of humour to marry her. The problem with such sort of guys is either they are taken or are gays (meant in the modern sense).

Srujana was not one who was willing to give up. She had tried out all the dating apps in her smart phone but the experiences had only made her lose faith in humanity. As she found out, most guys registered in a dating website assumed that females register there for the kicks or a `***k’. They would chat to her things which should be said on the bed and during the act. There was this guy, whom she strongly suspected to be a self declared satirist friend of hers, who in a dating website had left a message for her `you look like a potato but a sweet one’. She blocked him but wished to block the ventricles of this guy. I mean she was on the healthier side and had a sense of humour but this was too much.

Then there was this guy who had posted in one of the PMIT groups that he wanted to learn English. Srujana being the ever obliging girl started giving him online lessons and conducting frequent tests. This guy while being on her friend list, befriended a cute pie on her list and later broke up. Weak hearted as he was, the desolate soul returned to his native place, sputtered the word `Srujana’ and went into coma. His parents assumed Srujana to be the culprit girl and ensured that cops landed up at her door steps. It took a lot of explaining by Srujana and a few fund transfers in the conventional mode, for the case to be closed.

This was not the only adverse experience she had; there was one more guy who befriended her on yet another dating site. The obsessed lover that he was, one night at 3 am he called her up and said that if she does not accept him, he will drive off the cliff. That was the last she heard of him and for a few months after that call, even the sight of a traffic cop gave her jitters.

When Mrs. Srujana John reflected on this past of hers, she grimaced as she deleted all the dating apps on her smart phone. Ofcourse, she did not forget to make the fund transfer to MBCC group as well as send a thank you note to the irritating but loveable satirist friend of hers. After all it was his post on FB `Planning to be in a restaurant with a hottie on Valentine Day after intimating MBCC’ which had given her this idea. Needless to say, for this post, the satirist friend of hers got a royal spanking from his wife.

Who Killed Rama, Was It Ravana? - A Gripping Short Story

At the outset, I want to make it clear that the main character Rama in this short story has no resemblance to Lord Rama, who is perceived to the epitome of righteousness and integrity. This is just the story of a guy who was named Rama by his parents but was unlike Lord Rama.

            The story begins…..

            Everybody at the `Golden Deer Park’ agreed that it was tragic. Many said 27 is not the age for one to die. A few recalled the philandering ways of the deceased Rama whose dead body was in a pool of blood. It seemed the deceased had fallen off from the balcony of his 15^th floor flat or may have been pushed off.

            The police began its investigations and it was revealed that the deceased was a playboy. His recent conquest was Janaki, daughter of Ravana his estranged maternal uncle. Ravana was not named at birth as Ravana but as Janakan. Janakan was deeply influenced by Dravidanism and hence renamed himself as Ravana. However, he named his daughter as Janaki, owing to the pressure of his wife Mandodari, who coincidentally was named at birth as Mandodari but revered the Hindu epics. Ravana was happy because either by his new name or old name, he was the father of Janaki. He was short in stature and temper but not in opportunism.

Ravana was a merciless money lender. He had even besieged the property of his sister Sita (Rama’s Mother) who failed to pay interest on the loans taken from him. This had caused a rift between Sita and Ravana. After this incident, he was looked down upon in his native village and came to Bangalore in search of a living. He took to money lending and became instantly successful given that he was more canny and ruthless in collecting money than Bangalore two wheeler motorists are in negotiating traffic.

Sita had a son named Rama who completed his graduation in commerce and landed up in Bangalore looking for a job. His killer looks, Adonis build and sense of humour floored many girls and even married women. Unable to find a  proper job, he ended up as a CCO (Chief Collection Officer) of a finance firm. By providence or design, he stayed in and around the area where Ravana’s residence was. Once, Janaki saw Rama straightening a pole whose bent posture was hindering street dogs from answering their call of nature.   She fell in love with him much like children across the country get trapped in a deserted borewell.

Ravana was happy on coming to know that Rama was his sister Sita’s son. However on investigation, the truth emerged about Rama’s character and the fact that he was confidant of his bitter rival Maruthi Financers. Ravana hated Maruthi Finances because they virtually burned his business by offering loans at interest which was 1% less than what he charged.

From that day, Ravana never approved of the relationship between the two. However, as they say passions of the youth and reasons for a traffic jam in Bangalore are incomprehensible. The more Ravana tried to separate the two, the more selfies of Janaki and Rama started appearing on various social media platforms. Once when Ravana had gone on a business trip to Colombo, Rama and Janaki holidayed and partied in Goa. Rama started blackmailing Ravana with a few video clips taken during the trip. In return for the video clips, he demanded back his mother’s property.

Ravana was determined to teach Rama a lesson, and on that fateful day had come searching for him in an animated way. These images were caught in the CCTV of the apartment in which Rama stayed. Rama as per the autopsy report had fallen off the balcony between 21:30 and 21:33 hours and the CCTV recordings suggested that Ravana entered the lift of `Golden Deer Park’ at 21:18 hours. It was an open and shut case; the police arrested Ravana for murder of Rama. Ravana pleaded innocence. He said he was nearly 10 feet away when Rama fell off the balcony. The police were not ready to believe him and most importantly the TV channels would not allow the police to give a sympathetic consideration to Ravana’s version. They kept on playing clips of his closeness with politicians. Another channel conducted an interview with all the people who had taken loans from him and faced his wrath. The third, a national channel which was adored by the muddle err. middle class for the nuisance new sense news it telecasted, played a simulated version of what might have happened on that day. Its chief editor thundered questions after questions so much so that Ravana’s lawyer left the studio in a huff looking for the next rocket to Mars.

Janaki on coming to know about the video clips started hating Rama. She was happy that he was dead. She believed in her father’s innocence. Deep down in her heart she knew that her father would never commit something as ghastly as a murder and leave behind so much proof. Though the best lawyer in town was hired, getting bail for Ravana became as impossible as finding a parking slot on a Sunday evening in Commercial Street, Bangalore. Finally, they chanced upon Smt. Manthara, a private detective who was previously in police service but was discharged on medical grounds because she developed a hunch back. She had previously faced the wrath of Late Rama due to failure to make timely payment of her loans.

            Ravana had spoken of a few video clips of Janaki that Rama tried to blackmail him with. Police searched for the clips in Rama’s PC, Mobile, Laptop, etc but they could not find it. The police concluded that Ravana was trying to mislead the probe and ignored his statement to that extent. Smt. Manthara believed that the mobile phone containing the video clips could save Ravana from the noose. Janaki also vouched that she had seen Rama having two mobile phones during their trip to Goa.

She and Janaki with the clandestine permission of the police entered Rama’s apartment. They ransacked the apartment to find the mobile phone or the clippings but were unable to do so. Disappointed, they went to the balcony from where Rama fell off or was pushed off. The balcony railings were pretty high and it would have required a huge effort on the part of a short Ravana to push a very tall Rama off the balcony. There are many occasions in life when our disabilities become our biggest strengths. Take for example, our zealous convent schools who with their school projects sharpen the academic skills of parents or for that matter Bangalore’s encroached footpaths ensure that pedestrians’ reflexes are always at their peak. Similarly, Smt. Manthara’s hunchback had enabled her eyes to reach angles which a normal human eye failed. Peeping through the balcony on a full moon night, she could see a black object stacked in a lawn lamp which for aesthetics’ purpose was shaped like the lip of a woman. She pulled Sita, rushed down the stairs and reached the lawn. Smt. Manthara took a stone, broke the lamp and out popped a seemingly new black mobile phone. They decided to charge the battery to check the contents of the mobile phone. In case of it being found useless, Smt Manthara decided to retain it for her own use.

            The mobile phone on charging had all the clips that Ravana was referring to. Smt. Manthara admired the fact that Janaki had good love making skills at such a young age. These clips Smt. Manthara contended would save Ravana from the noose but there was yet another which they almost ignored and on seeing that both jumped with joy. It was the clip of Rama in an inebriated state trying to take a selfie video of himself and the moon on his head, tripping over the balcony, plunging fifteen floors below and the mobile squeezing itself into the lip like shaped lamp. 

Takeaways from the story:-

1. Name alone does not make anyone good.
2. Does not matter even if your name is Ravana, you have buckle up when the wife orders.
3. Titles of many stories are misleading to attract more views.

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This is not a fast food restaurant to have unlimited takeaways.

A Typical Tamil Wedding In Hashtags

No claim of any accuracy is made there may be a lot of omissions. This is
just a random recollection of what happens in a typical Tamil Wedding and
no offences meant. Hope you enjoy the fun

#obsecenlygrand #weddingcards
#megachoultry
#relatives #acceptpersonalinvites #only
#jewelleryshopping
#silksarees
#groomgets #onlycoatsuit #ofhislife
#receptionbeforewedding
#flowergateatentrance
#overflowingmenu
#reception #grosslydelayed
#overcoatedbride
#beautifulgirl #looksscary
#tensedgroom
#perfumesprinklingyounggirlswithrosesinhands
#plasticchairs #tosit
#redsofas #withrustedgoldenhandles #forthefamiliestosit
#thronelikechair #forcouple
#couple #nevergettosit
#overdressedguests
#gawdycolorpackaged #gifts
#envelopecovers
#vipguests #breakingqueues
#videographer #getsvantageposition
#blindinglights
#amateurswithDSLRs
#jarringsoundsystems.
#gossiping #guests
#comparing #thecouple
#tracing #humbleorgins #ofthefamilies
#dinninghall #inbasement
#overcrowdeddinninghalls
#plantainleafs
#smallmineralwaterbottles
#oilypooris
#moreoily #vegetablepulav
#drippinggheesweets.
#iceless #icecreams.
#tambolam
#videographyofdinner
#lateend #toreception
#coupleeating #stalefood
#tonsof #foodwasted
#earlymorningmuhurtam
#nadaswaram
#sleepyeyedfamilies
#bridewithoutmakeup
#looksmorebeautiful #thanwithcoating
#muhurtamneverdelayed
#respect #for #unknownstars
#pujari #rules
#sparsecrowd
#smokeallaround #thepodium
#groom #moretensed #thanyesterday
#videographer #getsthebestview
#gattimelam
#tying #thenuptialknot
#strangers #becomehusbandwife
#bridecries #forltheasttime #in life
#sevenrounds #ofthesacredfire
#seekingblessing #fromelders
#pongal
#couplestart #anewlife

A Few Funny and Sarcastic Status Updates on Facebook

All those who post selfies frequently have a psychological problem
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Atleast they reveal it  

Top of Form

They ask you to be the early bird and scorn when you are the first at office canteen or to leave office 

Top of Form

Chetan Bhagat

5 point someone
3 mistakes of my life
Two States
One night at call centre

Releasing next Half Girlfriend

What next... Zero Author? 

Some actors are so short of expression that in a motion picture they look like still photographs.

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It is time Indians understood that an ICU ward is not a wedding podium to crowd it.

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Bangalore has no place to dump its garbage and Bangaloreans have no place to park their cars

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If silence is golden, I have a golden voice while singing because I go silent when asked to sing.

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We are a nation who cannot stand in a queue even for buying masala puri.#indianness

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You should see the Tele Shopping Network ads, the interviewers don't even think of being unbiased

There are no permanent friends or enemies in politics as is the case with spots in an office parking lot or urinals.

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Journalists are committed to telling truth.... their version of truth.

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All those couples who got married or will get married on April 1 have a great sense of humour #Aprilfool

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Just like Friday is treated as Weekend, Monday should be treated as warmup day   #mondayblues

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YOU

Simple living, high thinking

Me

No thinking, only swiping  

Top of Form

Females driving a vehicle treat accelerator as their husband/boyfriend, always have the foot on it.

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The Govt. Of India announced cancellation of all bank notes prior to 2005...
Now some people are eyeing a similar announcement for weddings ....

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If you want to commit a scam, commit one which will compel Arnab Goswami to question you on behalf of the nation #nationwantstoknow

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To err is human, to be perfect is plastic

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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat. 

For every male action, there is a female
overreaction. 

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Given the state of roads and heavy rains, Bangaloreans have no shortage of ponds to immerse Ganesha idols

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Married life begins after you settle the honeymoon bills not on the date of marriage #marriedlife #honeymoonbills  

A colleague at end of the day, "How was the day?"

Me "Better, unlike yesterday , today there was a wooden plank to sit on the stove " 

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The British practiced divide and rule, now the traffic police is doing the same thing with dividers and lane discipline. That is why we Indians break them religously #India #Indiantraffic #bangaloretraffic

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