An owl on my back

The phrase “getting monkey of the back” is quite popular. How about an owl on your back? A couple of days back an owl got perched to the extension of my office window right behind my seat. Since there is a lot of greenery in my office campus, a lot of doves and occasionally crows sit near the window but this was the first time an owl had come. I did not notice it as I was engrossed in my work. After attending to the routine briefing of my boss, I came back to my seat, when a few office boys were trying to shoo it off. The owl would have none of it and stuck to his guns. It was only then I came to know about this owl on my back. Possibly it was hurt or just waiting for dark to set in. I shooed them asking them to mind their own business.

Somebody asked “Are you not worried about an owl so close to you?” I replied “It is only the owl which has to be worried about getting so close to human beings”. Next came a fortune teller, who told “This is auspicious, you will get lots of money” I replied “Yeah like you I am also due for the sixth pay commission arrears”. I also asked him whether the owl would not run into bad luck because of sitting on my window. He went off saying “You are always indifferent”. Somebody else remarked both have an equally grumpy face, I replied “No, I win hands down”.

Like in any other Government office, there are a set of jobless persons in ISRO also. They were discussing the issue as if a tiger was sitting on my window and how I was unmoved. My window pane became a place of site seeing for the jobless in the office. If only I had charged a viewing fee, I could have made a neat amount to finance me for a Gold Class film in PVR.

I don’t know what an owl eats, so I slid a biscuit through the window. It did not budge an inch. I tapped on the window; it gave me a hard look and later turned the other side. Possibly it found my face more disgusting than it has. A couple of crows came to attack/play with it, it was helpless and started screeching, I chased them away. It did not even give me a look of gratitude and continued with its wait for sunset. I kept some water for it but it did not drink that also. Is this the reason why people scold a simpleton “Ullu (Owl in Hindi)”

It was almost 6pm when my boss called me. I came back only to see that my little guest had flown away in the darkness. So my initial instinct was correct, it was just waiting for dark.

I could not name him though the name “Shi…… Pat…….” did cross my mind. I gave it up least of all the owl should sue me for insulting its entire creed.

My dramatic debut at reaching home late

I am on the Government rolls but working for a schedule oriented organisation like ISRO means as good as working for a MNC and reaching home late is but inevitable. In addition to the work schedule, once in a while I party with my friends though I am a teetotaler. None of the reaching home late was as dramatic as the first time I reached home late.

My debut in reaching home late happened when I went to pay the fees for a professional course. At that time I was in second year of my degree course and was passionate about becoming a cost accountant. I was staying in Banaswadi and the institute was located in Basavangudi atleast 25 kms away from my home. Given the pathetic state of mass transport in Bangalore at that time, this was quite a distance to travel. My mother would not let me go by cycle and hence I was forced to go by bus. I reached the institute pretty late at 7pm, though I left home at 4pm. The queue was lengthy and at around 8 pm, I reached the cash counter. The clerk pointed to me that I did not enclose photocopy of certain documents and asked me to get one. By the time, I could be back it was nearly 8.45 pm, I paid the fees and went to the NR Colony bus stop. I had to board a bus to Shivajinagar. A bus going towards the Majestic bus stop came and the conductor urged me to get into it saying it was the last bus. I would have none of it and continued to wait.

It was getting close to 10pm and I began to feel jittery since I have never been away from house all alone. There was no phone in my home or any neighbour nearby to communicate the mess I was in. Since I was fairly adept at the geography of this locality, I started walking towards Gandhi Bazzar and there I just missed the last bus to Majestic. My heart started thumping because I did not know how to reach home with the limited cash of Rs.20 I had in my pocket. I madly started walking towards National College Road. On the road, a cop stopped me seeing my helplessness. I explained him my situation and also that I had only Rs.20 in my pocket. The good guy he was, he gave me a twenty rupee note and asked me to take an auto. He stopped an auto and asked him to take me upto my house, where I would pay the fare. The auto driver understood my situation but explained to the cop that since he was driving from morning he could not drive that far and assured him that he would drop me till Shivajinagar. The cop took his details as well as my brother’s office number and sent us.

As promised, the auto driver dropped me upto Shivajinagar at around 11:15 pm. After paying him I was left with Rs.10 in my pocket and a distance of 10 plus kms to travel. Having reached Shivajinagar, I heaved a sigh of relief. I knew another 5 to 6 kilometers of walk, I could reach my nearest relative/friends house. I walked for a couple of hundred meters when I saw a HAL bus coming. I just waved my hand and asked him “Banaswadi”. He replied “ Maruthi Sevanagar”. That was ok with me, because this place was only 3 kilometers from my home. I hopped onto the bus and the employees inside asked me what I was doing there at that time of the day. I explained them the situation and the driver refused to take money from me.

I got down at Sevanagar at around 11:50 pm, only to find my Father standing at the bus stop frantically looking at each passing vehicle. I thought he would thrash me but he understood something wrong should have taken place and asked me “What happened?” I explained him what had happened and he just smiled it off appreciating my quick thinking after 10pm. He was equally critical of my inability to take the Conductor’s advice. The next day the cop called up my brother to check up if I had reached home safely.

I always had a negative thought about cops but this cop changed my perception. Till date, I don’t wait for a direct bus no matter what time of the day it is. These were the two biggest lessons I learnt from that eventful night.

Vasu's eventfffffffffffffffful wedding

Indian Weddings are made memorable due to unintended incidents. What about a marriage which is full of incidents? I attended one such marriage of my friend’s (Venkatesh) brother Vasu in 1997. There was not a single moment of dullness in the entire marriage. The marriage was in Salem and a private bus was arranged. The bus had to leave at 6am but left at 8am. Venkatesh father who is notorious for his punctuality was chiding all for the delay but all his missiles were replied with giggles. A couple of hours in to our journey we stopped for breakfast. The menu was supposed to be idli, kesari bath and vada. The problem was one of the containers containing idli was left behind in Bangalore and there was a rationing of Idlis. Added to this we had to compulsorily gulp a lot of sambar. This was the sign of things to come.

We resumed our journey and as things would have it, the driver lost his way and strayed on the route towards Vellore instead of Salem. Thankfully, 20 kms down the route somebody realized the folly and we turned back. Venkatesh’s father who had vouched for a KSRTC bus smiled at Vasu and told “You won’t listen to me this is the problem with these private buses”. All of us were busy with our revelry and his words were lost in the din. Finally we reached Salem with a delay of four hours. Locating the choultry was not a problem because somebody from the bride’s side had come to the highway to guide us from there.

We settled down and had our lunch. The rituals had begun and Venkatesh got busy with his duties. I and my friend Anil decided to check out Salem roads and babes. The roads were bumpy and babes most of them were chubby. We decided to have a Coke. As most of them know, there is a penchant in Tamil Nadu for translating every English word into Tamil. So was the shop where we went to have a Coke, except that “Milk Shake” was written in English. Anil asked me “Is there no word in Tamil for milk shake?” I tried to whisper into his ears “aatna pal (shaken milk)” but as bad luck would have it came out in a very audible tone. The shopkeeper gave us a stern look but could not control his laughter and burst out laughing with us.

It was late in the evening when we decided to go for a second show. We went for the historic hysteric film “Kadal Kotai (Fort of Love)”. This film is so because two people fall madly in love with each other just over the phone and they continue to be lovers without seeing each others face. We came out of the theatre praising Indian Railways Coffee and the guy who spilled it on the Hero’s shirt because otherwise the film would never have ended. We reached the choultry only to find the gates securely locked. No amount of banging, shouting could wake up any one and we had to spend the night in the bus itself. Next morning we got our dose of advice from his father for being playful and childish.

The entire marriage ceremony was a typical South Indian Brahmin wedding. It has its own flair and joy. The driver of the bus told us that there was some minor maintenance work and he would get it done in an hour and be ready with the bus. After lunch, we packed up and came out only to find that the bus was nowhere to be seen. Immediately somebody from the bride’s side took a vehicle and went to the major garages of Salem. Three hours later the bus turned up. It seemed the driver had lost his way and was stuck a couple of streets behind. Not being well versed in the local language, he was not able to find his way out. Unfortunately, nobody cared to search for him a couple of backstreets. Having got delayed, it was decided that we would have our dinner and proceed. An urgent preparation was made and we proceeded towards Bangalore. The return journey had its own skirmishes with some family scores being settled through a lashing match. We were scheduled to return to Bangalore by 11pm but reached at 5 am the next day.

This was not the end of events of Vasu’s Wedding. A reception was scheduled in Bangalore for the next day. 400 guests were anticipated but a minor surplus of 100 turned up. Consequently, the entire food got exhausted and not a morsel of rice was left behind for us. The entire reception party had to go to a nearby hotel and have dinner. With that the curtains came on Vasu’s eventffffffffffful wedding. Vasu is now having two kids and well settled in life. Vasu’s wedding was the most eventful one I have attended in my life and going by the looks of it will remain so.