I, Me and Myself discuss Anna Hazare's revaluation err. revolution

http://leadcap.org/

The previous part

http://balu036.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-me-and-myself-discuss-world-cup.html

The other day I, Me and Myself got together and discussed the second "greatest" victory India has got on the "Jan Lokpal Bill", thanks to Anna Hazare's revaluation err revolution.

As usual they were accompanied by their conscience viz., I-Con, Me-Con and Myself-Con.

I first reached the venue. The meeting was held a roadside hotel. I sat down and saw the owner beating up black and blue, a small kid for breaking a cup.

I was thinking in terms of doing an Anna Hazare on child labour when ICON said "No, baby, No, you don’t have type of media connections. Don’t force yourself in that boy's place"

I recognised that the owner was a vociferous participant in Anna Hazare's Revolution and decided against protesting because the cause of Jan Lok Pal Bill should not be weakened. You see the cause is more important than the antecedents of those involved in the struggle.

ICON "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….. no, it is not an Ad jingle, just that I am having a constipation problem after being subject to this absurd logic. This guy sucks"

Meanwhile, Me and Myself joined I. They did their customary hi-fis and Myself began "Friends, Well Begun is Half Done. We should take corruption head-on and not rest till the Jan Lok Pal Bill is passed"

MYSELFCON "When did you begin taking corruption head-on? Oh, achaa, achaa, that Jantar Mantar show where you shouted in the presence of cameras, so many anti-corruption slogans"

Me "The corrupt are at our feet. Their latest attempt to malign the civil society has failed, he, he"

MECON "Just ensure that you are not hanging upside down because then your head will be at their feet"

I "Once JLP is passed, corruption will become a thing of the past"

ICON "Aree Baap re, so will undervaluing property tax; violating approved building plan; using child labour at home; using of domestic cylinder for car; etc. I pity, it seems you are cutting off the branch on which you are sitting"

Myself "Have you given a missed call to the India Against Corruption number. 25 lakhs calls are required and only 5 lakhs have been received"

MYSELFCON "Such a pity, the educated middle class can't afford a missed call or are they scared that their numbers will be noted down?"

ICON " Come to think of it, 1.5 crore people use the same shampoo Katrina uses to fight dandruff, but to fight corruption they can't dial the same number, the other five lakhs have dialed. I think Katrina should have been used to promote this number"

I "Never mind, we will give umpteen calls to that number. Do you know the sort of mass participation in the rally. Even my daughther's school principal participated in the rally"

ICON "You mean the same lady who collects donation from you every year without a receipt"

Myself "What a bold choice by Anna to include a father and son in the Committee? They are the only two in the country who understand the law and its nuances word by word"

MYSELFCON "OMG! you mean to say all the other retired judges and lawyers are dumb"

I "Anna has strongly denounced his fast being called as a blackmail."

Me "That is stale news, he has said that he won't mind resorting to such a blackmail once again"

MECON "Naturally, the next round will be after the IPL and the cameras would be idle and waiting to click"

Myself "and very rightly he does not believe in the election process. He has agreed that despite his "huge support base", he will loose deposit in the elections.

Me "Does that mean lakhs and lakhs of people who support his rallies, won't come and vote for him?"

MECON "No, it means across the country, there were only a handful of people supporting the cause and they also turned up, only for a photo-op?"

I "There is no meaning in these elections and that is why I don’t go to vote. I prefer writing blogs or clicking "like" buttons on Facebook for anti corruption crusades"

The three suddenly realise that it is time for the all important IPL match between Mumbai & CSK. They get ready to leave.

ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON sing

Democracy is what they want, what they want

Vote is what they won't, what they won't!

Anti Corruption is what they bark, what they bark

Self discipline is what they lack, what they lack!

Popularity is what they crave, what they crave

Always, their skin is what they save, what they save!

Tokenism is what they show, what they show

Sacrifice is what they slew, what they slew

Author's take

With or without, lok pal,

corrupt know how to make the country crawl!

I, Me and Myself discuss World Cup Victory

I, Me and Myself met up again but this time to discuss the great World Cup Victory. This period was so emotional and patriotic for us Indians. We “sacrificed” so many things to watch this world cup. During this period we have motivated our team through various methods like ridicule, abuse, disowning, etc. We did all this so that they should play as good as we do in our weekend matches. It is not just the cricket team, we subject our children also to the same treatment, when they fail to get that extra mark than our colleague, relative or neighbour’s child. Victory achieved, we decided to celebrate the same, showering out of the book praises on the team.

As it has become mandatory this time also, ICON, MY CON AND MYSELF CON ( the abbreviated forms of our conscience) accompanied us to the celebration.

I – yes, yes, yes, we have done it. We are the world champions.

Me:- Yes, Captain Cool Dhoni has proved himself both as a player and captain.

MECON:- Are you not the same guy who started writing a blog “Captain Cool makes Indian fans a fool” when Dhoni got out?

Myself: No, I am not yet convinced with his skills as a captain. I think he is lucky more than anything else.

MYSELFCON: Maybe he should offer you a mixie, grinder or possibly a few goats to convince you of his skills

I: You are correct to an extent, he should have not played Sreesanth in the Final. We could have won the match without a sweat if he had played Ashwin.

ICON: Yeah, if you were the captain, Indian would have won the world cup in the quarterfinals itself.

Me:- Sachin finally has a world cup in his crown. He played truly blemishless spotless cricket throughout the world cup. The boundaries went like a tracer bullet.

MECON: My first advice control the Ravi Shastri dialect. This was the same guy who scribbled in his facebook after the S/F first innings “Sachin scores 85 in six innings” ..

Myself: I will make my son a cricketer. I will make him play IPL15 err. World Cup 2023. I will put him in a cricket coaching camp this summer holidays.

MYSELFCON: I know you are more interested in making him play only IPL. Anyways put your son quickly in the coaching camp before they also start collecting donation or Government introduces reservations even in cricket, he, he.

Me : I never thought we will make it beyond the quarterfinal stage and even had written a blog and kept on how miserable the Indian Cricket Team is. Luckily they won, otherwise I would have mincemeat out of them quoting statistics from 1950 onwards.

MECON: Even your parents thought you would never make it beyond the tenth grade. What to do, the best laid plans of man, mice and lice go wrong. Anyhow keep your blog, you can always do some minor changes and publish it, if they lose badly in England or Australia.

I: Why Sehwag had to play such a stupid shot of the second ball of a final. He is trigger happy/

ICON:- quite correct, unfortunately, he does not get the same time to play a shot, that you time and again get to correct your presentations in office

Myself:- And why did Gambhir had to play such an atrocious shot at 97?

MYSELFCON:- He did the same thing you do in traffic when the red signal is about to end.

Me:- Whatever you say, Sri Lankan crowd is not patriotic like us. The team was never hounded on arrival by press nor the fans burn their effigies nor they stoned the cricketers houses. So dispassionate they are about their country. Anyhow let us began the celebrations, Cheers!!!!

ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON together say : but they stood together as a nation to get rid of a terrorist organisation

I, Me and Myself discusss politics, egypt and budget

http://leadcap.org/

I, Me and Myself met up again to discuss forming the BLOOP party. Unfortunately this time also, ICON, MY CON AND MYSELF CON accompanied us to the meeting.

Me: Myself, have you finalized our party goals?

MECON: and what were you doing, finding fault with the BCCI cricket team?

Myself: Let us put the goals on the backburner, they are so much in conflict with national interest

MYSELFCON: you mean your interests?

I: Let us sleep over it, something better will come out in the morning.

ICON: Hope it is not SHIT, I meant Senseless Hollow i-talk.

Me: But then how do we publicise our party?

I: Corruption has gone beyond the limits. We should instigate an Egypt here. That would be a great publicity for our party.

MECON: I know you can only imagine the dirty things you could have done with such money.

Myself: Boss, till world cup I will be busy making changes to my SUPER SELECTOR TEAM and playing various fantasy cricket shows and after that there is IPL. So schedule this Egypt after IPL.

Me: How about in the gap between world cup and IPL, there is a fortnight gap.

I: Hello, in between world cup and IPL, I have booked for a family vacation for Europe at a big discount. If I miss it for any reason, my wife will make me permanently stay on the streets.

ICON: Think again, worse could happen, you could become an Egyptian Mummy.

Myself: Actually, I think we have no problems in our country. We have enough income and can always afford the bribes and inflation. It is just that we cannot tolerate these politicians making such big money. It is the poor guys who have to do such struggle. This has to be a bottoms-up approach.

MYSELCON: PEPSI SHOULD GIVE YOU AND AD FOR PALTI TALK.

I: Thankfully, the Railway Budget has not increased any of the fares. That is the way things should be.

ICON: Just wait till the next train accident, the same guy will write blogs after blogs about rail safety and the wrong policy of not raising fares.

Myself: I am very disappointed. These guys provide 50% concession for press correspondents twice a year, why not something to us bloggers also. We don’t write any better err… I mean any inferior stuff to those guys.

MYSELFCON: True, they write without evaluating the facts and you write based on their reports.

I: They should have reintroduced the Standard Deduction. These guys give all the benefits to the poor guys both in subsidies and cash during elections.

ICON: and what loyalty do you show to the country, after getting all those tax deductions, fuel subsidy, etc. leave alone go and vote, you don’t even register yourself as a voter.

Me: Thanks to the Very Senior Citizens category introduced, my grandfather is having all the property in his name and we don’t have pay any tax on that income.

MECON: Thank god, the old man will be allowed to stay alive for a lot more years, he and his dad will take special care of him.

I: Ok, we are getting nowhere with this goals nor how to publicise the party and best thing to do is raise funds. I will submit a proposal in the next meeting.

All the three walk out of the meeting discussing their blog ideas on a political alliance break-up

Whereas ICON, MYCON, MYSELFCON SING

DHAK GO, INDIA GO,

GOD KNOWS WHERE ARE YOU GOING

ACCOMPANIED BY SELF SERVING RULING CLASS

MASQUEARADING MIDDLE CLASS