Wednesday, 27 April 2011

I Me and Myself drainstrom about Education

I, Me and Myself planned to meet up recently. I always reaches the meeting spot promptly, but on that day, he was unusually late. When he did reach the spot, he was full of glee, waving what appeared to be an application form. As always the snipers, ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON also came.

I exclaimed "Have got an application for my daughter's admission to the Tom and Jerry Montessori"

ICON "So aptly named, except that here Jerry willingly gives in"

Me "Oh great, how many days did you wait for this application?"

MECON "Wonder, why schools don’t have a tatkal scheme for application forms"

I "Three days and would you believe it, while standing in the queue, the parents had to buy refreshments, only from the school canteen"

Myself "Don’t read too much into it, the school management is concerned about the parent's health"

MYSELFCON "Hope they did not take parking charges for standing inside the school"

Me "It is a great school. I understand that they have a strict admission procedure, they conduct an aptitude test for parents teaching skills".

Myself "Never mind, if you fail, you have to pay an extra 50% of the normal fees"

MYSELFCON " He, He, you know all the routes to success without strife"

Me "If we are responsible for teaching the kids, for what purpose these schools are required?"

MECON "It is time Government introduced distance education from Kinder garden onwards"

I "All said and done, the knowledge level of kids who study in such schools is very high"

ICON "You did study in a basic school, how come you have done well in life?"

Me "In my daughter's school, they fine the kids, if they scream amma even when they are hurt"

MECON "Thank God, they don’t ask them to sneeze in English"

Me "That's ok, in my daughter's school, children coming by their own transport, should reach the school 10 minutes before the bell whereas the same does not apply for kids coming through school bus"

I "What is this absurd logic?"

Me "It is because, in the school bus, the teachers get a chance to check the children for dress; fully loaded school bags and adherence to diet policy of the school in tiffin careers"

I, with a sigh in his face "What is this damn diet policy, young children have to eat well, are they training them for having six packs or size zero now itself"

Me "No, it is just that we should not send them any wet food like sambar, rice, curds, etc. Tiffin careers should contain only dry foods. If a kid wants they can have wet food in the school canteen. You see they don’t want to dirty the classroom because of spillage"

MECON "Only hope they don’t have pay toilets"

Myself "Yeah man, there is a lot to discuss on this topic, right now I have to go to the Bank to apply for a personal loan to pay for my son's AECRE".

I and Me together "What is that AECRE?"

Myself "Annual Extra Curricular and Recreation Expenditure"

MYSELFCON "Another method to add to the ACRES owned by the school owners"

As the three leave together, ICON, MECON AND MYSELF CON sing

Baba Baba Black Sheep, have you any wool?

Johny, Johny, yes, papa

Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are

To learn many a rhyme,

Parents are made to pay their last dime.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

Humpty Dumpty Sat on the Wall

Everybody screams Jan Lok Pal

Will anybody stop this grab it all

……………… be continued…………………………….

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Banglaore, Karnataka, India