Sunday, 16 September 2012

Horrorscope for Shoppers

This is the horror-scope for shoppers this week

Aries (March 21 − April 19) – Waiting for your wife to finish shopping, you find that plants have become trees.

Taurus (April 20 − May 20) – You will get an irresistible offer on a purchase of washing powder, a meal coupon for your entire family on a budget airline.

Gemini (May 21 − June 20) – Your luck runs out, colleagues and friends discover that premium brands you wear are two seasons old designs, picked up at discount sales.

Cancer (June 21 − July 22) – You will be made the brand ambassador for window shopping.

Leo (July 23 − August 22) – You try to run up an escalator and it starts moving at 60 kmph.

Virgo (August 23 − September 22) – IT sleuths will come behind you for buying monthly provisions at one go.

Libra (September 23 − October 22) – You will be approached by the city’s leading newspaper to write a weekly column on freebies distributed in product launches at various malls.

Scorpio (October 23 − November 21) – Hesitating to pay parking fee at the mall, you park your vehicle in a no parking area, come back to find this cop waiting for you with his team.

Sagittarius (November 22 − December 21) – Your entry will be banned by shopping malls for writing blogs, FB and twitter updates against FDI in retail and for that you will boycotted by your spouse/children.

Capricorn (December 22 − January 19) – The CCTV in your favorite shopping mall will give you birthday bumps.

Aquarius (January 20 − February 18) – You will require to buy this storage unit for the free gifts you have won at promotional events.

Pisces (February 19 − March 20) – This Monday morning you will drive to the nearest shopping mall instead of your office.

If you don’t experience any of these conditions during the week, please go and present yourself before producer of this show.

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Banglaore, Karnataka, India