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Monday, 15 August 2011

I Me and Myself discuss on Share Market crisis


I, Me and Myself met up recently and during the course of conversation started talking on the stock market. Needless to say our consciences ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON were there.

I is in serious problems because of the stock market meltdown but still swears by the markets. He considers himself an expert investor (actually he is an ECHO-SPURT just repeating what the analysts talk on business channels)

Me is a WINDOW SHOPPING investor, that is, he has not invested even a single pie in the market but keeps on adding shares in the mock portifolio in web sites. Whenever these shares go up, he gets depressed and elated when share value drops. Needless, he is enjoying the market melt down.

Myself is a HARDCORE BJ FAN (BRICKS AND JEWELS). He buys gold and land like a ritual. His land records files are as bulky as the files with the Registrar of Births and Deaths. Needless to say, with the spurt in the prices of Gold, he is as delighted as a monkey in a glass cage with a banana dangling on the other side.

I started off the discussion by saying `I just can’t believe that Standard & Poor have downgraded US economy. It is a bloodbath in markets across world’
ICON `UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NO DRS IN S&P RATINGS :P’
MECON `NOR S&P WILL BE NAÏVE ENOUGH TO CALL BACK IN THE SPIRIT OF THE MARKET :P :P’

Me `But  analysts say that in a few days shares will be available at rock bottom prices’
ICON `DON’T BELIEVE THAT WINDOW SHOPPER, IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE YOUR BOTTOM ON THE ROCK WHEN IT IS HOT’
MECON `REMEMBER IF IT GOES WRONG, THE ONLY PULL BACK WILL BE FROM BANKS OF YOUR HOME, CAR, ETC’

Myself `Ha, ha, all the global investors are turning to gold, I have lots of them and waiting to be encashed’
MYSELFCON ` TRY ENCASHING THOSE ORNAMENTS, YOUR WIFE WILL ENSURE THAT YOU ARE WAITING TO BE HOSPITALISED’
ME `The mess that the world economy has landed into, don’t know where all the money is going to come from to bail it out?’
MECON ` DON’T WORRY, OUR TEMPLES, ASHRAMS AND TIHAR RESIDENT INDIANS (TRIS) WILL BUY OUT US ECONOMY.’

Myself `Bulls, Bears and now you two asses :p :p’
MYSELFCON `AND YOU A PIG WHICH KEEPS ON HOGGING GOLD AND LAND ‘
I `This global crisis won’t affect our country in a big way, we are well insulated’
ICON `YES, UNLIKE OTHER COUNTRIES WE PERFORM LAKSHMI POOJA EVERY YEAR :P’
ME `The Government should come out with a stimulus package once again’
MECON `IF  ECONOMIES HAVE TO BE REVIVED WITH STIMULUS PACKAGES, WHY PEOPLE RIDICULE THOSE WHO GO IN FOR SILICON IMPLANTS :P?’

Myself `What happened to the fundamentals and what are the charts saying, he, he, none of this applies in BJ, it grows everytime you put it in err invest in it’
I `Cut the crap, some of the bluechip stocks have shown growths in excess of 100%’
MYSELF `In the interim how many times have they dipped and caused you stress, but BJs never make you anxious’
ME `Book Values of most shares are at attractive levels’
MECON `RAMALINGA RAJU HAS ALREADY PROVED THAT MOST TIMES IT IS BOOKED VALUE’
ICON ` AND PROFIT BOOKING IS DONE ONLY BY THOSE WHO KNOW TOMORROW’

Myself `A penny stock becomes bluechip when a bull shits err.. sits on it and a bluechip becomes a midcap when a bear bugs it’
MYSELFCON `AND ORNAMENT GOLD BECOMES A DEATH WARRANT WHEN A GUY COMES BEHIND YOU BRANDISHING A KNIFE’

I `I challenge you Myself, within the next one year I will prove you Shares are the best form of investment’
Myself `Ya and I need not prove that BJ investment is the best thing to do rather than getting mauled by a bull or bear’

As the three depart, ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON sing
BULLS AND BEAR WE ARE THEY SAY
INVESTORS MONEY IS WHAT THEY PREY
AT OUR COST, THEY MAKE HAY

THE FUNDAMENTALS ARE STRONG SAID ONE EXPERT
ANOTHER SAID, CHARTS ARE WAITING TO SPURT
INVEST FOR THE LONG TERM SAID MANY
BOOKING PROFITS OFTEN IS WHAT THEY DID, TO TAKE MY LAST PENNY

HERE WE ARE THE LAMBS
BELIEVING IN MARGINS AND DERATIVES
NOT LISTENING TO THE DISCLAIMERS
ONLY BELIEVING IN THE STOCK TIPS


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Banglaore, Karnataka, India