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Showing posts from 2008

MLM dreams

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This is the story of Bolenath who was sucked into the eternal dream of attaining financial freedom through one of the multi level marketing scheme called “Network Way”
Bolenath had just finished his work and returning home by his scooter. It started raining and he took shelter under a nearby tree. One more guy came in his bike and also took shelter under the same tree. The rain was steady and Bole was admiring the cars driving past him. A Merc passed by him and he could not resist turning around for a second look.
The guy next to him told “How nice it would be if you had such a car?”
Bolenath laughed and said “Nice thought! I can’t even afford to pay for even its one service”
The guy replied “How if I taught you a way to buy that car”
Bolenath quipped “Loot the bank which is opposite to us”
The guy “No, I will teach you how to build a pipeline of money”
Bolenath “What? Who is going to provide the flow? What sort of business are we getting into?”
The Guy “Hi! My name is …

The Amavasya Girl

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This story is not about fostering superstitions. This is just about how an individual can convert perceived negative traits to benefit society at large. I am opposed to any superstition which demeans an individual. This short story is an attempt to debunk a popular superstition that a girl born on Amavasya becomes an immoral woman and is prone to theft. This is the story of Shwetha, a girl who combined these perceived qualities for saving her country.

I don’t know anything about ethical hacking and its technicalities. Any glitches in this regard may kindly be excused. A certain amount of sleaze is involved in this story. I understand that this will read by people of all hues and have attempted to avoid any type of undesirable content. However, reader discretion is recommended.

The most wanted criminals of India were finally apprehended in a neighboring country and deported back home. The jails of the country were overflowing with associates of these criminals. A huge network of terr…

Enough is Enough is not a cliche

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Enough is enough! We have voted enough. It is always a case of musical chairs and hardly the choices matter. Let us have a National Government. Let the politicians first provide us one full calendar year without terror attacks, then we can talk about holding elections.
Enough is enough! The politicians have made us fight enough on parochial basis. It is time such political parties are debarred from elections, organisations banned and the leaders sent to the jails.
Enough is enough! Terrorists cannot be allowed to be on trial for years. The Courts have to believe the cops version and give early judgments. First hang the guy who attacked Parliament and has been sentenced to death. Anybody who supports him should be treated as a terror suspect.
Enough is enough! We should not be socializing with a country which regularly creates fear and havoc in our land. Stop all cricket tours, musical programmes, trade, bus, and train with Pakistan. You never know which Pakistani is collecting what info…

Mumbai attacks reflect a failure of intelligence

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It happened again in Mumbai during the late hours of 26/11. Terrorists have again targeted the symbols of urban India with impunity and we are left clueless. Enough is enough! United States of America has not had any terror attacks after 9/11; United Kingdom has had none after the tube blasts but in India it has become a common happening.
India seems to be the softest target for terrorists. Till late urbanites had to be bothered only about poor infrastructure now they have to be scared about hidden bombs, trigger happy terrorists, etc.
In a couple of days, life will be back to normal in Mumbai and it will be attributed to the “indomitable Mumbaikar spirit”. I have the greatest regards for the average Mumbaikar and his contribution to the growth of this nation from times immemorial. Hence, don’t misunderstand me when I say that the average Mumbaikar who steps out on 28/11/2008 will have a mindful of fear.Given an option, he would confine himself to the comforts of his home but he dares…

Are the protests about Bangalore International Airport justified?

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Ever since its beginning, Bangalore International Airport (BIA) has been in the eye of the storm. I would like to confess that I have not traveled abroad even once and not physically used great airports of the world. My air travel is limited to the Metros of this country. Here is my perception of the BIA protests:
1. BIA is too far away from the city.
True, but this fact was known to everybody from the date of its planning. Why did they not protest at that time? Some of the companies do own large chunks of unused land; very well they could have given it to the BIAL for setting up the airport in place of their convenience. To my knowledge, new international airports in most cities are away from the city. You could have had an airport in middle of the city, if India was not a democracy. It would have been easy to vacate thousands of acres of land forcibly. Authorities have to litigate hard to get a few meters of land for road widening, metro rail work, etc.
2. The proposed User Developme…

Single Screen theaters of Bangalore

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These are the days of swanky multiplexes. Bangalore has/had some great single screens. Here are some of the wonderful single screens of Bangalore which were a part of my growing-up. Those which have ceased to exit have been highlighted in red.
Mukunda: It is located in Maruthisevanagar. It is a middle class theatre which mostly screens regional and sometimes Hindi films. The best film I have seen here is Big B’s “Hera Pheri” and SRK’s ‘Daar”
Ashoka: This was located in Frazer Town. It used to screen Tamil and Hindi films. I don’t remember to have gone to this theatre.
Naga:What a theatre, sirji! This theater was located in St. Johns Road. I really felt bad when this theatre went down. The screen was fabulous so was the parking. I saw the first movie of my life in this theater. I have seen countless films in this theatre and the last was “Rang De Basanti”.
Lavanya : Situated adjacent to Naga, this theater screens only Tamil films. I found nothing special about this theater.
Lakshmi: Situ…

We should first fight against Naxalites (Red Terror)

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Which is the terror form India should fight first? Is it Islamic Terror or Saffron Terror? I think the first terror form that has to be fought is the Red Terror (Naxalites).
They are longest surviving terrorists of the Independent Indian society, spanning across the country and spreading across religious and regional barriers. Naxals run their own governments in many tribal areas of the country. They collect taxes and do so-called “welfare activities” (which are nothing more than a sham). They are not accountable for the taxes collected. Naxals mercilessly kill candidates and voters who take part in democratic processes like the elections. This is evident from the havoc they wreaked during the first phase of pools in Chatisgarh.
Naxalites pretend themselves to be protectors of the poor but are no better than the merciless landlords whom they are supposed to fight against. They control people with terror and strong arm tactics. They frequently target law enforcing agencies in the form…

Mr Hayden we dont need foreign assistance in demeaning India

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Mr. Mathew Hayden one of the members of the vanquished Australian cricket team has called India “a third world country”. This is on a day when the Indian tri-color was proudly placed on the Moon by Chandrayaan-1.
I quote him “Often we find ourselves with hands on hips waiting for someone to either “face up” or someone in the sightboard to move away; all the little frustrations that happen in Third World countries”
I abhor anybody who calls India a third world country. How would Mr. Hayden feel if we called Australia as “a land of convicts”? Possibly, he would file a racist complaint against the speaker. If Hayden calling “India as a third world country” is acceptable, then what is wrong with the supposed “monkey” remarks which were supposed to have been made against a team-mate of his? Monkey is a common word in India for anybody who irritates.
On expected lines, BCCI has kept mum. After all they kept a mum when Gautam Gambhir was banned for a test match by Mr. Chris Broad and they …

Guru Devo Bhava :Teacher is God

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Parents are the one who give birth to us but teachers (Gurus) are the ones who mould us. Teachers are like sculptors, they can shape the society from being a good one to a great one. Here are some of them who shaped my life and made me whatever I am today:
Mathew madam - Whatever little I write in English, I owe it to Mathew madam. She taught me both in the middle and high school. She would nurse a dull student but would never tolerate an intelligent but indisciplined one and thus got the ignominious nickname Peyi (Ghost). She was from a rich background and used to bear the education expenses of many poor students. Even today mention of the word discipline brings to my mind image of Mathew madam and VD sir.
V Doreswamy Iyengar– He taught me accountancy and commerce in junior college. He was perfect in accounts and had a commanding voice. If you cannot understand accountancy taught by him, the possibility is that you have vacuum between your ears. He would suddenly prop-up questions from…

Nukkad celebrate Barrack Obama's victory

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This is only a tribute to the makers of Nukkad, the popular TV Serial which ran during the 80’s. Due to my inability to write in Hindi, I am writing all the dialogues in English.
I will be willing to give the pseudo-copy rights of this episode if somebody can translate it into Hindi. Any inconsistencies please excuse because I have written the dialogues with whatever I remember about these characters.
This is just an imagination of how the election of Barack Obama as Prez of US would have been welcomed in Nukkad
This episode starts off with the theme song “Bade Sehar ke ek gali mein basa hua hai Nukkad”.
Enter Teacherji, Guru gives her the yearning glance and she announces “Listen, Obama has become the President of USA and it is great honor for us because his family still lives in a nukkad like ours”
Dukhiya“What use it is to us?”
Guru “Aree, Dukhiya, what is the use in being you born, Teacherji knows better than all of us, when she says better listen”
Thambi (in a low tone) “Carry on Gu…

A Kenyan by descent can become President of the USA

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What could be the biggest lesson that Indians can learn from Barrack Obama becoming the 44th President of US of A? Barrack Obama is a Kenyan by descent but that did not prevent him from becoming the President elect.Subsequent to his election, nobody has questioned his nationality; nobody has questioned his commitment to the country; nobody has questioned his religion; nobody has questioned whether he would compromise with a fundamentalist group on security of the country; nobody has vowed to go bald if he took oath as the President of America.
During 2004 when Sonia Gandhi was tipped to become the PM of India, the country witnessed a lot of protests. A particular lady leader’s throat went hoarse crying that Sonia Gandhi was actually “Sonia Mario” and how her children name also resembled Italian names, etc, etc. How Rajiv Gandhi had got converted into Christianity before marriage became a subject of national debate? PILs were filed in the Supreme Court questioning her possible appointm…

Dont abbreviate KISS

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Acronyms have made our lives so convenient. Emails, ATM, etc are used by us subconsciously. Some use acronyms without knowing their expansion and quite often, situations in life throw their own new meanings for existing acronyms.
Disclaimer: Most of the acronyms used here have been received by me through emails/SMS.
I understand that a distant country named Ediot Who-swallowed-it-ya have had its own sub-crime crisis. Any royalty accrued from this blog will be donated towards SCREW (Sub Crime Relief for Ediot Who-swallowed-itya) since the acronyms used here are not my original creation.
ABCD is American Born Confused Desi, what would be A to Z, here it goes, American Born Confused Desi Emigrated From Gujarat Housed In Jersey Keeps Lotsa Models (what’s that?) Named Omkarnath Patel Quietly Reached Success Through Underhand Vicious Ways Xenophobic Yet Zealous.
Talking of NRI’s, one of the funny expansions is Not Reliable Indian which I don’t find funny because many of them do a good work. …

Implants are the in-thing

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The mention of the word implants no longer rings the moral bell in anybody’s ears, that situation was years ago. Implants are the in-thing. If you see at the end of the day, there is nobody free from the need for an implant.

It is a known secret that every female celebrity who want increased ba… err eyeballs has to go in for an implant  .
Given the number of heroes who take off their shirt and what not, there is a distinct possibility that some of them may have had implants.
Recently global economies had an implant in the form of a bailout package.
Indian cricket team for the past decade or so has been having an implant of foreign coaches.
Lyrics writers devoid of ideas have an implant of remixes.
Politicians devoid of issues have an implant of regional/religious passions. They further require an implant of bogus votes to win elections.
Broadcasters devoid of programmes have an implant of reality shows.
Reality shows require implant of controversies to sustain TRPs
Reality show contestant…

Good bye to Anil Kumble, a competitor and a true gentleman

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Don Bradman could not get a boundary in his last innings and Anil Kumble was hit for a boundary off the last ball of his career. No, I am not comparing the two but when it came to playing the game in the right spirit, Anil Kumble was only a couple of notches below the Don.
Anil Kumble made his debut for India in 1990 and could make a comeback only during the historic South African Tour of India. Blame it on the idiosyncrasies of the Indian selectors, Jumbo never made it to the ill-fated Australian tour of 1991-92. Had Kumble played in that series, being an unknown propotion and the Aussies historic aversion to leg spin, India would have had better memories of that series? This was also the last series of the famous batsman Dilip Vengsarkar whose scores in the series put to shame most of the emergency numbers in India. It was in a test match in SA, that Kumble first took 5 wickets in an innings and after that there was no looking back. The Englishmen on the 1993 tour were flummoxed by K…