Is this a part of our mindset

I have been a victim many a times of reaching to a marriage reception on time and finding only marriage decorators for company. With passage of time, I have become wise and usually reach a marriage reception, a couple of hours late from the printed commencement time.

I have never been able to find a reason why a marriage reception never starts on time. If the hosts can’t start a marriage reception on time, why don’t they print it in the wedding card, like, say “Anytime after 8 pm on 20/06/2008”?

Why put a specific time and not follow it? How can a host be so insensitive to their guests? Do the hosts find it funny or stupid, if somebody turns up on time for a marriage reception? It is ridiculous to note that the hosts, who were busy with the reception till 12 am, get up at 4am to get ready for the muhurat.


I have never seen a muhurat which got delayed by a few hours. I think it is a part of our mindset wherein we fear unseen stars but don’t respect the time and commitments of our well known guests.

Please speak out for the families of 25 Indian Sailors who went missing on board "MV Rezzak"

February 18, 2008, a cargo ship “MV Rezzak” left the coast of Turkey towards Russia. 25 Indian sailors recruited by Pelican Marine Pvt. Ltd, the Mumbai-based firm were on board. The ship went missing of the Turkish coast. It has been nearly 4 months since but there is nothing concrete on the fate of the sailors or the ship.

Speculating about some of the reasons why the ship has not been located yet, Neeraj Tyagi - brother of one of the crew members said, "My personal belief is that the ship has been either hijacked or the company itself has kept the ship in hiding to claim insurance money."

Recovery Overseas, a legal firm based on Chincholi Bunder Road in Mumbai’s Malad area, on 3 June, has written to the families of the missing crew, saying that they had died “due to marine hazards in ship MV Rezzak”. To add fuel to the fire, M/s. Pelican Marine, has started contacting them for no-objection certificates, or NOCs, that state the ship has sunk and the crew is dead, so that it can pursue the case with the ship’s insurer, said Uma Mohan, sister of the missing ship’s chief engineer, Mahendra Gopal Krishna Menon. “We are not willing to give such an NOC. How can Pelican Marine decide that the ship has sunk and the crew are dead?” Mohan asked. Mohan alleged Recovery Overseas was acting on behalf of Pelican Marine.

The Indian is at its docile best and merely writing to the Panama authorities to locate the ship. Maybe if some VIPs were on board the ship, a special team would have been sent to locate the ship. Even some foreign agencies would have been hired but these were ordinary men on board, so who cares.

Unfortunately, time is running out for the government as the families of the crew members plan to step up the agitation so that the Indian government does not "forget" the incident. The family of the 25 sailors do require an answer. If the Government is not willing to act, we should make it act. It is our duty as citizens of this free country, to compel the Government to act. On my behalf, I am sending an email to the Hon. President, Prime Minister and the Cabinet Committee of Grievances. I request you also to do so. Kindly ask all your friends to do so. Today it is the families of the 25 sailors of MV Rezzak who have to suffer because of inaction on the part of the Government, tomorrow, it may be us.

Such an eyesore that SIZE ZERO

Size Zero is the in-thing today for today’s women. A size zero is an eye sore for most men. The sight of a hitherto well endowed wearing a bikini and her skull bones exposed was a nauseating sight for me. A shrunk-in top is such a deflating proposition for me. The only emotion such a female would evoke is compassion and not passion.

An average man can be attracted only to a healthy looking female Size zero females look pathetically sick. A healthy looking female does not mean a corridor filling hip. Most size zeros are achieved by artificial means and from the health point of view is fatal in the long run. There is a sea of difference between a slim female and a size zero. Some of us are born genetically slim, that’s ok, as long as we are healthy. Punishing our body and natural systems to attain a size zero seems to be far fetched. Then again, everybody is the queen of their own destiny.

The smiling beauties of Indian films

A good smile can make an heroine a super star for ages. To me and most Indians, Madhuri Dixit has the ultimate all round smile. Her smile looks very natural in all situations, be it as a teasing lover in HAHK or seductive wife in Beta. The magic of a Madhuri smile will continue to excite me even if she turns 60. Down south, only Simran has that all round smile.

There have been other heroines whose smile is bewitching in its own right. Urmilla innocent yet seductive smile in the song “Yeh Ram Kya huan” from Rangeela gave me (many men, I suppose) many a sleepless nights. So did Juhi Chawala in “Bol Radha Bol”

Kajol has a very girlish smile so does Sonali Bendre. Down south, Jothika has a very girlish and captivating smile. Rakishta beats all the heroines down south when it comes to a girlish smile.

The most voluptuous smile I have seen is that of the Malayalli film actress “Vani Vishwanath”. Those twinkling of eyes on that broad frame still sends current across my body. Of today’s heroines the same can be said of the southie Namitha and in bollywood, Lara Datta. In Kannada, Radhika has that type of voluptuous smile.

The most artificial smile award should go to Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bachan and Deepika Padukone. There is nothing in the eyes to make it look genuine.

A midnight call from my friend

It was late in the evening when I shut down my system and began to find my way to the lobby for the cab and reached home. The day as such was tough. In the morning, I had missed my office bus and had to travel by the public bus, which was suffocating to say the least. Over that, my boss, as usual, was demanding and courteous.

After reaching home, I grabbed a quick dinner and hit the TV remote. The channels had nothing to offer but the same breaking news, sobbing families, unfaithful spouses, dangling sensex, etc. I just decided to put myself and the TV to sleep mode.

Never realized when I went into a deep sleep mode until I was awoken by a ring tone. First I thought it was the backup music of a BPO vehicle, later realized that it was too close to me and right in my ear. I woke up and noticed that time was 12:05 am and there were 3 missed calls.

Before I could unlock the keypad, the phone rang again. It was from my friend, I was wondering, why would he call me up in the middle of the night and answered “Hi, how are you” He replied “Bala, there is something which only I want you do it for me, will you, please promise?’”. I was unaware of what was to come and said “C’mon yaar, aisa bhi kya? In most cases you know I will do what best I can”

He replied “Today is my birthday, I want you to be the first person to wish me” and burst out laughing. Leave alone wishes, I gave him back all the expletives I could recollect. He was just following the tradition we had of calling each other requesting for a birthday wish. It was just that he had pre-poned the timings by a cool six to seven hours. I did give him my heartiest wishes. It was nice to know that the fun and mischievousness in our friendship had not gone even after 2 decades of friendship. I lost my sleep for the night and was left wondering why I did not put my mobile on silent mode that night alone.

IPL's new lingua franca

IPL has created its own lingua franca. Here are some of them:-

Duration (n) - marginally longer than an Indian movie.

Spectators (n) - Not all have come to the stadium to see the match and most importantly everyone does not know cricket.

Viewers (n) - Advertisers spend crazy amounts to catch their eyeball attention for 10 seconds but they prefer to surf channels during ad break.

Pitch (n) - A rectangular piece made of soil but expected to be more flat than a table top.

Batsman (n) - A gladiator whose purpose of existence is to send the ball across or over the boundary as many times as possible.

Bowler (n) - A gladiator who is paid handsomely to get beaten like a henchman in Indian films.

Shot (v) – A verb whose ends justify the means. Simply read as long as you get a boundary does not matter if you executed a late cut over the middle stump.

Umpire (n) - An individual on field whose popularity goes up every time he lifts both the hands vertically upwards.

Score (n) – In India like sensex preferred only when it progresses in geometric progression.

Run rate (n) – A Jurassic age concept which should be replaced with runs per ball which again is respectable only if it is 1.5 runs per ball.

Economy rate (n) – Anything which is less than our inflation figures is preferable.

Boundary (n) – The batsman’s capability to frequently strike it, directly increases his endorsements.

Dot ball (n) – One of the few on-field perks for a bowler.

Maiden (adj) – An on-field event whose occurrence is as rare as a total solar eclipse.

Dull Moments (adv) – Time taken between overs

Average (n) – considered respectable if it is in double digits for batsmen and single digits for bowlers.



Team Loyalty (n): - The match itself is a blind date, so who cares.

Spirit of the game (adj/adv?) – displayed at the end of a game in form of a handshake sometimes through a slapface.

Cheerleaders (n) – what did the poor bar girls do differently to be banned?

Dugout (n) – A bus-stop type shelter where grown-ups wait anxiously like school children in front of an exam hall.

Commentators (n) – rehabilitated cricketers who are paid to dub as talented every guy who can with result swipe the bat/ hurl the ball powerfully.

Sponsors (n) – A set of guys who are desperate to ensure that their name appears on every cricketing gear. Wonders whose logo appears on the most important but least displayed cricket (no prizes for guessing it) . A steel or cement company would be an ideal choice with words “keeping family/ friends (either girl or boy) happy” or “protecting the future” or “ensuring continued home entertainment”.

Owners (n) – Individuals who have invested heavily but not allowed to grunt or grumble when their team performs badly.

Last, but not the least, Lalit Modi (Proper Noun) – Magician. C’mon guys, he should be the Prime Minister of this country. Definitely would come up with an idea how to market petroleum products so that we don’t have to pay every time the rate goes up.