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Tuesday, 23 September 2014

14 Weird Facts About Bangalore from a BBC Bangalore Guy

Having BBC (Born, Brought Up and Corrupted) in Bangalore, here is my list
of 14 weird facts about Bangalore

1.      BMTC buses go to places where Auto rickshaws refuse to go to.

2.      Nobody knows how an average auto rickshaw driver makes his money.

3.      You are supposed to know driving, only if you can break all the traffic
rules and drive. It’s your bad day if you get caught in Bangalore by a
traffic cop.

4.      You have a Mangalore Bajji, Mysore Bonda, Dharwad Peda but no cuisine
it seems has originated from Bangalore.

5.      Number of potholes on a road is directly proportional to the rent
charged. More number of potholes on a road means more rent.

6.      Security Deposit is collected by an owner only to meet his medium term
cash needs, at times it can be 10 or 15 or 20 months of monthly rent.

7.      Schools even without a compound call themselves as an International
School.

8.      The average shopkeeper will park his wares on the footpath but won’t
allow you to park your vehicle in front of his shop.

9.      The guys who named localities in Bangalore had a great sense of humour.
There are countless Bomasandras, two LB Sastry Nagars (separated by a few
kilometers distance) and two Kanamangalas (at extreme ends of Bangalore).

10.     You have more bars than self service hotels; more self service hotels
than restaurants; more restaurants than play homes; more play homes than
playgrounds; less play grounds than temples; More temples than Government
Schools; Less Government schools than Beauty Parlours/Spas and More Beauty
Parlours than Parks.

11.     One prominent corporate hospital is located next to a crematorium.

12.     90% of the greenery in Bangalore is found in Defence Controlled Areas.

13.     You can’t find a locality in Bangalore which had a British name and
has not been renamed with an Indian name, yet referred to by its British
name.

14.     Most places with circles as their surname eg Mekhri Circle no longer
have a circle.

Monday, 22 September 2014

Ten Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die


The title itself is absurd becaue I have a million things to do before I
die. I would love to kick a few on their faces before I die but I cannot
put down their names here. However, having taken up the challenge, here
are a few I would like to do before I die

I would love to have a bank balance in which the digit 9 is followed by
eight 9s. Once that is in place other things will fall in place. If I
write a blog then on this subject it will be truthful.

I would love to travel Europe extensively with a visit to the PG Wodehouse
museum. Witnessing the Northern Lights is one thing I would relish. I
would love to do Bungee Jumping but given the present state of my neck, it
would remain a dream for ever. How kind is life to remind us that even if
you have a 9 digit balance with all 9s in it, certain things cannot be
conquered. A couple of nights stay at the Al Burj, Dubai would be the best
consolation to not being able to do Bungee Jumping. I would love to watch
Sunrise from the first point on Earth. An evening at the Sydney Harbour
Bridge; a day at Disneyland, watch the Niagara Falls from both sides and a
dinner at the Gawalmandi Food Street, Lahore are also on the list.

One thing which annoys me most is Indian dishes made to suit Western taste
buds in star hotels. Imagine having a mutton curry without spice in it. To
retaliate I would love to own a restaurant in Europe where the best of
western dishes are served to suit the Indian taste buds.

Otherwise, I am a pretty contended man. The bank balance mentioned at the
beginning is to take care of those wishes which have not been penned here.

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Banglaore, Karnataka, India