This is the horror-scope for voters for the election
season.
Aries (March 21 − April 19) – Due to Saturn following Mars on social
media, your impulsive choice vote will deduct Rupees 5 every hour from your
account for the next five years.
Taurus (April 20 − May 20) – Due to tussle between Mars and Neptune,
you are likely to try to key in your ATM pin into the EVM.
Gemini (May 21 − June 20) – Due to Mars flirting with the Moon, you
will listen to your heart and vote for the candidate whom you have all along
been ridiculing on social media.
Cancer (June 21 − July 22) – Due to Earth’s conflict with Pluto, your
EVM vote will be invalidated.
Leo (July 23 − August 22) – Due to power failure in Neptune, you will
find that 1000 people have already cast your vote.
Virgo (August 23 − September 22) – Due to discovery of gold on Moon,
Political Parties demand money to allow you to vote.
Libra (September 23 − October 22) – Due to sun feeling ignored by all the
planets, your EVM shares with the entire social media which party you have
voted for
Scorpio (October 23 − November 21) – Due to Venus coming between Saturn and
Jupiter, your non-voting will lead to cancellation of HB1 visa of your nearest
family member with intimation to them.
Sagittarius (November 22 − December 21) – Fed up with your indifference to vote,
Saturn decides to descend on your holiday plans for the next 30 years.
Capricorn (December 22 − January 19) – Motivated by Saturn, Jupiter decides to
put you on yet another MH370 flight
Aquarius (January 20 − February 18) – Due to Venus breaking up with Uranus, the
Government sends you a bill of the entire election expenses of your polling
booth as a penalty for not voting.
Pisces (February 19 − March 20) - Due
to Jupiter’s continued honeymoon with Venus, you are likely to use the voting
day which falls on weekend to go on a vacation with the family and crib on Facebook
for the next five years.
