When a Husband gives money to his wife, what do we call it??

The title is demeaning. Before feminists friends jump at me, I would like to request them to read this piece of writing till the end. There’s some fun but nothing which is disrespectful of women.

I recently received this whatsapp message and thought it would be fitting to answer it in my own sarcastic way.

ANSWER THIS ONE?:

Money has different names !!! In church it’s called (offering), in school it’s (fee), in marriage it's called (dowry), in divorce (alimony), when u owe someone it’s (debt ), when you pay the government (tax), in court (fines), civil servant retirees (pension) boss to workers (salary), master to subordinates (wages), when you borrow from bank (loan), when you offer after a service (tip), to kidnappers (ransom), illegally received in the name of service (bribe).
The question is "when a Husband gives it to his Wife what do we call it??

Is it a fee?

Yes, a wife thinks that before marriage her husband did not know how to eat, talk, dress, save, and what not. She is the angel who made him a creature acceptable in civilization and hence it is a fee.

Is it alimony?

There goes an old joke; you don’t know the value of your wife until a judge fixes it.

Is it a tax?

It is when you take them for shopping and you also pay tax to the government when they shop. This the most stringent form of double taxation.

Is it a ransom?

Dear Husbands, don’t you pay up a ransom whenever your cylindrical case of skin is at its full glory and wifey is not interested in deflating it.

Is it a fine?

Yes, when you have had the drunken revelries with friends or want to watch that football or cricket match, you do pay a fine.

Is it a bribe?

When you want your parents to stay with you or want to pay for your sibling’s education or even want to treat your relatives at home, better learn to bribe.

Don’t even think of using terms like wages, salary, tip, etc., unless you don’t want to see your wife for a substantial period of time due to eye injury caused by her punches.

Jokes apart, a wife does make her husband. I attribute a lot of my progress to my wonderful wife. I’m able to crack relentless jokes on the relationship between a husband and wife only because I have an understanding wife at home.

If a mother dies leaving behind young children their future usually goes haywire but if a father dies, more often than not, the kids reach pinnacle of success. The mental and physical strength of a woman cannot be matched by a man.

So, is it necessary for me to say that the money paid by a husband to his wife is an offering?