Saturday, 31 July 2010

My experiences with road rage

May contain adult content and to be read only by those comfortable with such stuff.

Now that I have been driving for the past one year, I have been a part of road rage. I have received and shown ire more than a few times. There have been a few occasions when I have given back witty replies which totally shut out the ire of other driver.

Here I was in the beginning of my driving experience and on an empty road going at a very slow pace, a SUV overtook me and asked “Are you driving a bullock cart?” I replied “Yes boss, I have just painted it red and put a steering to it”.

Once more, I was driving uphill and a goods tempo was ahead of me. Going uphill, I should have switched to 2nd gea,r given that I was still a beginner, but chose to drive in the 3rd gear. All of a sudden the tempo driver took a right turn and my engine got switched off while applying the brake. Consequently, a Swift which was coming behind also got switched off. The Swift guy overtook me and told “F*** you”. I just replied “Thanks but I am straight”. He had a great sense of humor and laughed it off.

Everybody who drives a four wheeler considers two wheelers as a nuisance on the road and vice versa. Here was one two wheeler trying to overtake me from a narrow opening available on the right but I did not give him way. Finally he managed to curve around the divider and overtake me. To celebrate his victory, he showed me his middle finger. We had to stop at the same place in different lanes. The guy was heavily built and there was no way I would get into an argument with him. When the signal was about to go green, I rolled down my windows and asked him “Boss, yours is so small”. Before he could react, I was off in a fizz and he could not change lanes.

Here I would like to end this piece with this forwarded email on road rage.

One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport. We were  
driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a  
parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes,  
skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!
The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I   mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that?   This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the  
Garbage Truck' He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks.   They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger,   and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a   place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it   personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the   routine life.
Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do   not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so......   'Love
the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'
As very rightly said quote:-
Life is 10% what you make and 90% how you take!

Road Rage is not good for your physical and mental health. Just ignore small mistakes by others. There is nothing you achieve by swearing and cursing at others. If the mistake has caused substantial damage to you or your vehicle, just call the traffic cop. You need not lose your dignity and health having a slanging match in the middle of a road.

Monday, 26 July 2010

The Tramp and Travelling Salesman

The Tramp and Travelling Salesman(TS) are the best of friends. Both are very interested in affairs of the society, TS having more a balanced view whereas the TT cannot think beyond his stomach. Once they met over and exchanged their views

TS” Hi man! How have you been over the fortnight?”

Tramp “Great buddy! Got to eat at a couple of lavish weddings, been part of a few political rallies and was part of a rioting crowd during a bandh and did good with a bounty of valuables. How have you been?”

TS “ Very miserable, Political rallies and bandhs means no business for me”

Tramp “What to do one man’s food is another man’s poison?”

TS” In all these years, my food has never become your poison”

Tramp “He who knows no shame knows no difficulties. You are facing the difficulties of working hard”

TS” Just look at me, I have to wear a tie, a clean shirt and shoes but for you dirtier the dress the more better”

Tramp “Yeah, but tell me why do you have to do all this style? Are you customers so posh?”

TS “Yes boss, lots of rich people buy from me because my company sells a lot of factory seconds and fakes of fancy brands”

Tramp “Really, then who buys from the showrooms”

TS” Middle class”

Tramp “Yeah, ever since the middle class has had this implants of EMI and credit cards, they have gone haywire”

TS “You can talk like this because inflation never hurts you”

Tramp laughing “No that’s not true, the quality and quantity of biryani that is served in the political rallies has come down very badly. The Government should do something about rising prices”

TS “You just can’t think beyond your stomach but the Government has a bigger vision and doing their best to control inflation. They monitor crop output regularly to study the impact on prices”

Tramp “What is the point? They can’t store the crops when they are harvested and most of it is consumed by rodents and pests. Why can’t they release the stock into open market?”

TS “You don’t understand, the Government cannot act so irrationally. They have to worry about the commodity exchange also”

Tramp “What is this commodity exchange?”

TS “Just like stock exchange, where instead of stock futures, commodity futures are traded”.

Tramp “Unbelievable, stocks have no value, so they have to be traded but why food grains, they already have a value?”

TS begins to talk but is interrupted by Tramp who says “I don’t understand granting voting rights to NRI’s. These are the same set of guys who rarely voted when they were in the country and left the country because they did not find it profitable enough”

TS” I am quitting for the day. The guy who writes this script gives all the punch dialogues to you and I have to play the role of priest as always”

Tramp “I know he makes me say some of the things which a tramp would never know. Anyhow he now wants us to stand for the theme song”

We are like this

We are like this

Screaming our throats for and against same Gothra marriages

Turning a blind eye to rodents eating food grains

We are like this

We are like this

Worried about NRI voting rights

Not worried about the citizen’s eating rights

We are like this

We are like this

To be continued LITTER

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Banglaore, Karnataka, India