Tuesday, 20 December 2011

I Me and Myself plan to write a book


I wants to write a book. To discuss this, I, Me and Myself met up and as usual ICON, MECON and MYSELFCON accompanied us.

Me started by asking I `Are you going to write a book? '

MECON `Will he atleast read it when it is published'

ICON `Never mind as such in any book, he does not read more than ten pages each  in the beginning, middle & ending'

Myself `What are you going to write about romance, crime, fiction or satire'

I ` A mix of all'

ICON `A book whose method of publication will be fictitious, pricing will be sleaze, reader will search for the author to commit a crime and fate of the author will be satire'

Me `What will be the title of the book?'

I `Sojourns of a Blogger'

ICON `which can be abbreviated as SOB'

MYSELFCON `which also expands as Stale Obnoxious Book'


Myself `I think you should dedicate the book to the three of us'

MYSELFCON `That is the only way this guy's name will ever appear in a published book'

Me `What is the storyline?'

I `It is about an honest blogger in a corrupt society, who becomes a prominent figure in an anti corruption rally'

MECON `Is the blogger honest only while writing blogs or in his actions also?'

ICON `If he is really honest, at the end, he will commit suicide on knowing the truth about the activists'

Myself `Have you approached any publisher or agent?'

I `Yes, three of them with my synopsis, one asked me to come with a manuscript'

ICON `One offered him a cheque for not writing and another offered him a published book for a cheque'

MECON `That is an indecent proposal'

Me `How will you make the book sell?'

I `Write well, use social media to promote the book, etc'

Me `No create some controversy about the book, like get some group to burn a copy of the book or somebody to tell it is a stolen idea'

ICON `Most buyers of the book will be burning it, so that is taken care off'

MYSELFCON `All said and done this book is an original scrap. Who else can write on such a weird concept?'

MECON `A better idea would be to release a pirated copy of the book even before the original is released'

Myself `How do you intend to price it?'

I `Very nominal, so that everybody can afford it'

ICON `Such a pricing will help him buy many copies on his own to ensure that it is a best seller'

MECON `and also to ensure that when sold they recover some value in the old paper mart'

Me `You never showed us the preface'

I `It is very unconventional and thought provoking. I will mail it to you guys''

ICON `It is written unconventionally because he does not have the knowledge to write classy'

MECON `Usually first time authors say this book is a part of me but in his case it is the only part'

I `Ok guys, we will leave now'

Me and Myself `All the best, we too hope to follow the suit'

As the three depart, ICON, MECON and MYSELFCON sing

I am gonna to write a book
Story which happens in every nook

Classy writing it's going to get a snook
My skills amongst the swans are just a rook

I'll make it a best seller by hook or crook.
Would you mind to have a look?


4 comments:

  1. "ICON `One offered him a cheque for not writing and another offered him a published book for a cheque'" - this is your trademark wit, Balu - absolutely loved it!

    RE

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you want to write a book, this is the time... anybody can write & get published.. esp you are a blogger with a decent readership! :)
    Anyways haven't yet read the latest comedy of CB, may be sometime will borrow one to humour myself..
    Loved some of the lines..esp
    "A better idea would be to release a pirated copy of the book even before the original is released"
    "If he is really honest, at the end, he will commit suicide on knowing the truth about the activists"
    "One offered him a cheque for not writing and another offered him a published book for a cheque'"

    On side note, heard Amazon is getting into India shortly and Flipkart is doing all that it can to tackle it!

    Merry Christmas n Happy New Year to you and your family! Have fun!!

    Cheers!
    Divya V from Suls

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks Divya now that you also like this line alongwith Raghu, I have to patent this, never had two people liking one line of me :P

    "One offered him a cheque for not writing and another offered him a published book for a cheque'"

    ReplyDelete

Brickbats or Boquets I accept them all, vent it out here!

Dr BR Ambedkar's 130th Birth Anniversary

Today is Dr BR Ambedkar's 130th Birth Anniversary.  April 14th is my new year, and it is the day on which every festival occurs for me. ...