Monday, 11 April 2011

How the fake editor planned coverage of Anna Hazare's protest

IndiBlogger - Where Indian Blogs Meet

Here is the previous part

It was once again a fortnightly review in NoNEWZ 52x365 Channel. Seated in the room were the Political Journalist(PJ); Business Journalist (BJ); Sports Journalist (SJ); Entertainment Journalist (EJ); Creative Journalist (CJ – she can create news, debates, opinions when none exist) and finally the Rookie Journalist (RJ!). Additionally the Computer and Animation Graphics Expert (CAGE) and the Video Journalist (VJ) were called in. *** conditions apply

The Managing Editor of Operative Wing (MEOW) came in a cheerful mood. She screamed "Guys, Guys, the last six months have been wonderful for us, so many scams and thanks to our aggressive and emotional coverage of the issues involved, our share value has tripled in the last three months. Now we have the crowning glory, a crusade against corruption for introduction of a Jan Lok Pal Bill. We should encash this opportunity to the fullest. So lets begin this issue, RJ, first let us start with you"

RJ " MEOW, this bill has been pending for the last 42 years, and Anna Hazare, has been corresponding on this issue with the Government for quite sometime, but my only doubt is what is the relevance of this 5th April? Why could this fasting not have begun on say 30th March 2011?"

MEOW with a stern look "hmmm. the world cup was still on. RJ, if you keep asking such questions, you will end up as a DJ in a night club, ok let me begin with VJ, how do you intend to cover this issue"

VJ "We will get our OB vans there as well as try to erect an aerial camera for pan view of the big crowd that is expected to come in"

MEOW "No aerial view, you will operate with a hand held camera and always show the crowd at full zoom. It should never become clear to the viewer, that there are hardly 100 people in the crowd. Don’t move around the camera too much in the Satyagraha area. Are we having some snacks served for the meeting? CJ, now let us know your plans"

CJ "Oh I will scream at top of my voice that there are thousands and thousands of people who are participating in the protest and I will ask the VJ to pan the crowd and midway the editor will cut it and focus to some other audience in some other city and the images will keep on rolling from city to city"

MEOW" That’s my girl, create an hype, PJ, what do you intend to do?"

PJ "I will position myself near the Parliament and keep on giving my opinions suffixed with the phrase "learnt from reliable sources in the Governement". In addition, I will keep on repeating in various tones there is nothing above will of the honest tax payer"

CJ "In addition, I will keep on asking questions to passerbys, ground seller, etc with various fundas loaded into it and finally ask them, you agree with it, don’t you?"

MEOW " BJ, what can I expect from you"

BJ" The usual stuff, I will get a few loose canons from the corporate sector to comment on how corruption affects them and how demands for bribe were made without any specific details about the same"

MEOW " I get the best from you BJ. EJ and SJ you will get opinions of all the strays in your respective fields. CAGe, you will represent Annaji in various forms like Tendulkar, Lord Krishna, etc. Ok guys let us get cracking, ensure that this coverage gets a good boost to our TRPs, now let us stand for our channel Anthem. "

The Channel Anthem is played.

Ba, Ba, Black Sheep

Have you any fools

Yes, Sir, Yes, Sir, crores of educated fools

Very few of them cast their votes

But when the camera rolls,

Crib endless about their woes

Volunteers for our internet polls

And meaningless chat shows

I woke up screaming "How dare they make Bakra out of this country" and realised that it was only a nightmare.

Wifey said "Don’t exert yourself too much; tomorrow you have to clean the toilet and car. Do those before setting right the country"

Why do I get such unrealistic nightmares?

*** All the characters and situations mentioned above and below have no relation to reality .

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