Wednesday, 15 June 2011

I, Me and Myself Gravestorm on Ads, Adulteration and Anna Hazare

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I Me and Myself met up in a graveyard to discuss the grave issues of Ads, Adulteration and Activists. Despite being surrounded by the evil spirits, the conscience of three of us viz., ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON turned up and as usual they kept up with their uncalled for barbs, while we were discussing.

I was in an animated mode "How dare the Government do this to the innocent citizens in the Ram Leela Maidan? This is highly condemnable. Anna Hazare rightly went on a day's fast "

Me "V true, Anna has now given the Government 15th August deadline. If they don’t pass Lokpal Bill by then, Anna will go on an indefinite fast"

MECON "Hope the next fast unto death of Anna Hazare lasts its distance"

Myself "That is not the end, Annaji will also give a call for Jail Bharo Andolan."

MYSELFCON " Jail Bharo is possible only if the Kacha Mango ad is true. People will have to be photocopied because only a few would be willing to go to jail for anti corruption"

I " The Government can't ignore Annaji's deadline. The whole country is behind him"

ICON "If the Jails fill up, one of the TV channels will come out with a reality show called "Who wants to remain jailed?" and everybody will ensure that they get voted out in the first week itself"

Me "Once Lokpal Bill is passed, corruption will be a thing of past in no time"

MECON "This seems to be the next best idea after Maggi 2 minutes noodles."

MYSELFCON "Imagine Big B saying Lokpal hain desh ka Tinopal and a tagline `This is a Civil Society certified legislation' "

Me "I can't believe that Baba Ramdev became so weak within 9 days of fasting, he does so many Asanas"

I "Add to this the fact that Babaji has invented a medicine for every conceivable disease of mankind, how could his liver go weak?"

ICON "Possibly he never believed in taking a dose of his own medicine, he, he, he"

I" The quality of advertisements has gone down, to sell any product a semi clad model is used"

ICON "Now I know why you use YOUTUBE so much, ogle in private and sniggle in public"

Myself "Yeah, today's ads are all balls"

MYSELFCON "Oops! You should have said they show only b***s"

Me "Adulteration is so widespread, you can't guess which is real?"

MECON " But you enjoy the adulteration, if it is a silicon implant"

I "You don’t know whether it is cow milk or synthetic milk? We don’t know whether the red apple is red by nature or because of some petrochemical coating"

ICON " As it is, you can't distinguish between an anti corruption crusader and a magsasay award seeker"

Me "All these problems will be solved if Lok Pal comes into effect"

MECON "Why do you think Lok Pal is Rajnikanth?”

Myself “Ok let’s make a move, least the original occupants of this place join the discussion”

MYSELFCON “The Government should give permission to hold the fast unto death only in graveyards, either way they would win. Most of them will vacate in the evening and if they continue………,he, he”

As the three leave, ICON, MECON AND MYSELF SING

Yeh Dosti Humne Chodenge,

Lok Pal Bhi Chodenge, Black Money bhi Nahin Poochenge,

Vote toh Kabhi nahin Karenge

Magar yeh Cribbing nahin Chodenge

Yeh Public hain Sab Janthi hain

Discount pe radhi bhi Kareedh lethi hain

Advertisement se Gadhe Ko Goda man lethi hain

Babuji Dhere Chalna, Zindagi me zara samalna

Har Safeed cheez ko doodh na manana

Sir Dal mein Kala math Kehana

Yahan toh Anar mein bhi Achar miltha hain janna

(please excuse the poor hinglish)

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Banglaore, Karnataka, India