Ever since I wrote this horrorscope, news reporters and journalists have been hounding me to write one for them. So here it goes
Aries (March 21 − April 19) – You will find that your newspaper had become the No.1 because of its utility on window panes.
Taurus (April 20 − May 20) – You will finish a heated TV debate, go to the wash room and suddenly say this to yourself.
Gemini (May 21 − June 20) – Your seedy conversations will become the breaking news of the month
Cancer (June 21 − July 22) – Your government sources will get revealed and it is this
Leo (July 23 − August 22) – Your hunt for the next TRP generating middle class Icon will end up with this fake.
Virgo (August 23 − September 22) –. You will get a birthday gift of this from God.
Libra (September 23 − October 22) – Your worse fears will be confirmed; your citizen journalists are starting a channel on their own.
Scorpio (October 23 − November 21) – Movie producers will bribe you to give bad reviews, because audience throng to see such movies.
Sagittarius (November 22 − December 21) – You will discover that CAGs next report is about concessions given by Government to media houses and losses to the exchequer
Capricorn (December 22 − January 19) – Desperate for breaking news, your editor asks you go to Mars and do a sting on Curosity.
Aquarius (January 20 − February 18) – You will discover that these ads are fetching more revenue than the ads telecast during your news bulletins.
Pisces (February 19 − March 20) – You start an ad program with Google Adsense for your entertainment programs but find to your shock that most of the ads based on keywords is for this product or this one
In case you are a journalist/news reporter and don’t experience any of these, please join a NGO and serve the poor. If you experience all of the 12, apply for lifetime achievement award in journalism.