Sunday, 2 September 2012

Horror-scope for Bangaloreans




I tried blogging to supplement my income but is not working. My Google Adsense account has been banned thanks to an overzealous friend. To ensure earnings from blogs, I have decided to write horror-scopes for various categories of people. Charity begins at home, so does experiment and keeping in tune with this sentiment, I am starting out with writing horror-scope for Bangalore citizens.
Aries (March 21 − April 19) – You will find your parking space occupied by garbage because garabage generated by you does not have a parking space.
Taurus (April 20 − May 20) – Today if it rains heavily you will find that Bangalore has replaced Udaipur as city of lakes because you will find a lake in every road of Bangalore on your drive back home.
Gemini (May 21 − June 20) – Today you will start believing that Bangalore roads are the arena for xtreme sports.
Cancer (June 21 − July 22) – Your harassed psyche   will start suspecting that Curosity pictures are from some landfill for Bangalore garbage.
Leo (July 23 − August 22) – You would want to go on a hunger strike until footpath is renamed as lootpath.
Virgo (August 23 − September 22) – You would want to go on knees and prostrate before the CAG if they can tell you how many lakhs of crores Bangaloreans have lost due to a non - existent infrastructure.
Libra (September 23 − October 22) – You will believe that you are driving on American roads not because of the quality of roads but because most two wheelers are driving on wrong side of the road and the traffic cops are doing nothing about it.
Scorpio (October 23 − November 21) – You would want to know from the athletics federation why Bangalore pedestrians are not allowed to compete in the Olympics. Even Usain Bolt can’t cross a speeding vehicle more quickly.
Sagittarius (November 22 − December 21) – You would want to scream at Mallya `If you had run KFA with purely profit only model like BMTC buses, your model airhostess would have still been employed’
Capricorn (December 22 − January 19) – Your poor mathematics skills will suggest that going to Mars is cheaper than buying a house in Bangalore.
Aquarius (January 20 − February 18) – You would want the IIMs to include a chapter in their syllabus on `How to convince Bangalore autowallas to go where you want to?’
Pisces (February 19 − March 20) – You would want to know from BESCOM why power supply quality is as unstable as the ministry in power.

For  tomorrow’s forecast please interchange with the sun sign of your liking and if on any day, you have all the 12 experiences, please contact  here for  further  assistance.

5 comments:

  1. How true, Balu! Only problem with this post is that I find that the other 11 sunsigns also seem to predict the day for me as much as my own does :)

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  2. Ha Ha, Suresh, I have given you the helpline contact if you have all the 12 experiences :p :p :p

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  3. This is hilarious. Now your adsense should work :))

    ReplyDelete
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