Thursday, 28 March 2013

Bangalore Autorickshaws Principles of Movement


Bangalore Autorickshaw principles of movement or Autocracy

People criticise Auto drivers in Bangalore. All these are false and baseless. You have to just understand the Autorichsaw principles of motion and once you understand that, COMMUTING in Bangalore with the HELP of Autorickshaws is the HEALTHIEST. Here are the principles of Autocracy:-

a. This principle applies for a distance of 3 kms. If you want to travel more than 3 kms, reapply the principles from point b or concur with points at e and f.

b. Walk a distance from your house to the main road because Autorickshaws’ don’t come to inner roads. The chances of finding an auto is 0.5% and the chances of him wanting to go in the opposite direction of your destination is 75%.

c. Skip the autos in the stand; you should understand it is a STAND  not GO. There are 95% chances that the Auto Pilot will give you a nasty stare for disturbing his intellectual conversation with co-pilots.

d. Walk further, if you find an auto standing for no reason, don’t disturb him, either he is having a nap after a day of hardly any work or chatting on the mobile. There are 87%  chances that he won’t even stare at you.

e. Walk along, if you find any auto just meandering along, put your hand out and gesture him to stop. There are 56% chances he will agree to come to your destination but the chance of him demanding 3 times the fare is 99%.

f. Walk further, you will find an auto driver ready to come to any destination you ask him to. There are 78% chances that his auto meter will outdo Ussain Bolt.

g. Ignoring him move further and you will find an auto driver who is polite, honest and service oriented, the chances of which are 3% but he will be of no use to you since you have already walked 3 kms.

If you skip point e and f subject to the condition that point g does not happen, you will be the most healthiest individual around.

4 comments:

  1. Ooolala! Bala! The most sensible guidebook I have ever read :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very apt indeed ! Summarizes the auto experience very well indeed :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is a pity that people of Delhi and Chennai do not have the ease of language you do, Balu. If they did, your Bengaluru "autopilots",a memorable phrase, would be put to shame!

    RE

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a good one. Yes, theirs is an autocracy, whateever the city may be.

    ReplyDelete

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