A Sarcastic Take On Marriage

Marriage is an institution which was created to ensure that a man gets a family to head and the woman a man to boss over. Every individual has to get married because it’s only marriage which can bring out of you, either the philosopher or the comedian in you.

The guy, who first said, all good things have to come to end, obviously had marriage in his mind. Marriage brings a lot of stability in your life because after a few years, traffic, politicians, bad bosses, clients, etc seem very reasonable when compared to your spouse. I don’t quite get why they called the initial period of marriage as honeymoon, especially given that moon is such a desolate place. If I could go back in time, it would be called as `the sleazy sizing up time’. A Husband, who is dominant in the first year of marriage, is usually seen sprouting a big moustache from the second year, just to prove that, he is the boss at home.

        Marriages are good for the economy. To begin with, you make a grand entry to end of individuality. You end up feeding quite a few whom you would rather poison. Later, you buy a car when you would have otherwise hired a cab. To complicate matters, you take a home loan and get tied up to your job. To further complicate the matter, you install a hi-fi kitchen to ensure that your wife experiments with your palate. It is not without reason that they say, homemade food is healthy, I mean, you can’t have too much of it anyways. Finally, you richen a lot of educational institutions, when your biological trysts bear fruit.

        Marriages in India have changed, they have moved from arranged to love marriages. Marriages made a family previously; nowadays they make multiple families because no daughter-in-law wants to stay with her parents-in-law after marriage. I love Christian marriages not only because they serve non-vegetarian food but more so because they afford an opportunity to the bride and groom, to say no and run away.

I don't know how men forget their anniversaries, how can you forget the day when you became a willing victim. Marriage anniversaries become a cause of celebration in a society where marriages have a short fuse. Once wedding anniversaries were irrelevant in India but now they are becoming milestones, which is both good and bad. Good because couples don’t want to take shit from each other and sad because they can’t adjust with each other’s inconsistencies and limitations.