Sunday, 9 December 2018

Sarcastic Ideas For Budget Airlines To Increase Their Revenue

Once air travel was exclusive and aristocratic.    Times  have changed,  today people travel by air for convenience rather than out of abundance.  Budget Airlines have been a huge blessing in this regard.  At less than half the cost of regular  Airlines,  budget  carriers  can fly you the same distance with a few charges for additional services. For example,  the food  is charged,  beverages  are charged,   certain  seats are charged, etc.  Obviously increases in fuel prices,  and salary costs  hurt them the most.  Of late they are  charging even for those seats that passengers  were  allowed to choose for free while booking.  This blog contains a few sarcastic ideas that the budget airlines can adopt to increase their profitability.   There is a popular saying in the beaches of Himalayas
" Sarcasm of today is the realism of tomorrow".

The passengers can be asked to pay for using the  air bridge.  When they use the  transit bus,  they can be asked to pay for it.  They can be asked to pay for occupying the seats,  a little bit extra for the window seat,   after all no seat or sight  should come free.

A minimum  weight (say 55.8kgs) should be fixed for the passengers,  and those who   exceed or fall below the weight  fixed should be charged.   Nobody can question this move because it is based on the  Upper Congo   High Court   judgement  that equal justice and  equal injustice should  apply for all.  The same principle   can be applied for passengers height as well.  Further,  it can be fine tuned to apply for BMI as well.

Being on time is a wonderful thing,  because time  time saved is  money earned.  Passengers would not mind parting with a small cash for ontime landings.  To ensure hundred percent payment,  the aircraft doors can be kept  shut  until the passengers   pay up.    A smooth landing means long term benefits for the bones of the passengers.  Passengers would readily pay up  a small fee   when the  aircraft is taxing for landing, if informed of the consequences.

Passengers should learn to pay up for the restroom usage.  After all,  they do it on earth bus as well as at railway stations. Let the budget airlines managements not forget the basic rule that restrooms cannot be used until the seat belt lights are switched off and switching off can be monetised. 

I  have a lot more ideas for the budget airlines to make their ends meet but table not come for free.  I believe in the old  saying  from Mars " if anything comes for free,  it must be   3 days old food"


  1. It should be 56 kg in honor of pm's proclaimed chest size. (But his actual size is 52 according to Shashi Tharoor).

  2. Belts will be on charge; you cannot find them on seats. Visiting website will be charged (whether you book or not); glass of water can be charged; if you are bringing food and water by yourself, it will be charged double; even if PNR numbers are same, the seats will be given on extreme ends (front and rear) even if one passenger is a minor (this happened today in Indigo while I travelled from Pune to Chennai - Chennai to Vizag); if you want to change seats, pay for it; if passengers agree to exchange mutually, they will be doubly charged; lot many ideas.... of course.


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