Thursday, 6 August 2020

The Advanced Art of Getting Offended

To suggest that getting offended is a phenomenon of the 21st Century would be apotheosising the previous generation. People were as mean-minded, as they are today. There was no shortage of idiots who used to get offended at everything. There were countless conspiracy theories about everything. If you were used to long-distance travel in trains before 2010, you would nod your head in agreement to this statement. I know this statement, will offend a few from the 80s and 90s, trying to assume a holier than thou attitude. That itself is the proof how people were always offended with trivial statements.
 
The number of people getting offended has increased because idiots of the previous generations have left behind the legacy of offended minds, and also multiple off-springs. These imbeciles have evolved from filling withdrawal forms to paying through the scan of a barcode; sending telegrams to transmitting instant messages, and ruing month end to cursing EMIs but their thought process is rapidly going back to when hominoids thrived. To be a learned and rational person was considered a forte, and such a person could snub in public anyone who possessed a regressive thought process. Today, unfortunately, the roles have reversed. To be well-read, with critical and scientific thoughts, is to expose yourself to abuse.
 
Technology has across the globe united people with thoughts worth a caveman. They can link ideas; learn new abuses for their opponents, and raise a crescendo for their invective thoughts, and obfuscation of truth to be accepted. Previously in a group of friends, if there was only one with the retrogressive thought process, gasping due to lack of company, he used to turn into a social animal. However, today he can log on to the internet, and improve his repertoire. He learns how to get offended, more and more. My blog has had fewer views ever since its inception, and I am desperate to increase it. Thus, evolved this blog, how to get offended by everything, and anything. I hope this blog goes viral, and my blog has more than the customary ten views.
 
You can get offended by this blog. It is within your right to ask whether the writer of this blog thinks only he has ideas on how to get offended with trivial things. You can get hurt at a few of the `Shashi Tharoorian’ words I have pinched from his books and used them here out of context.
 
You can get offended at a colleague or friend who waves at you, and says `Hi, how are you?’. He was possibly expecting you to be doing poorly, and it is but natural to get ticked off by him.
 
Being a good citizen, you wear masks lowered, and secure it when a cop comes within your eye-line. The guy who is coming from the opposite direction is also a dutiful one like you. When he is at a kissing distance, he gives a hard sneeze and sends you in a frenzy. You are in a mood to drink a bottle of sanitiser when another half masked guy walks towards you with a smile on his face. There is no need to give a second thought, and it is time to activate the O word.
 
To each, his way, and so is the way one eats. You can get offended by the eating method of others. It doesn’t matter if you eat like an earth mover at work.
 
There are various methods to spend our free time. Right, from the healthy habit of walking, to the filthy pursuit of listening to the journalist who wails and quails on behalf of the nation. In such a scenario, the reason behind a few individuals preferring to read books is sinister. Why do these individuals want to be informed and objective? Why can’t they be uninformed and gross like us? There you go and have another option to feel scorned. 
 
It is hygienic to brush your teeth as soon as you wake up, and later have a cup of tea or coffee. However, a few incorrigibles have their morning cup of beverage and then attend to the essentials. Such different behaviour is one more option to get offended.
 
Do you know a middle-aged colleague, friend or relative who wears flashy spectacle frames or dress up trendily? The unwritten laws of our nosey society require that a person acts his age, and any other behaviour is considered unacceptable. It is imperative that as a social human being, you should get offended by this deviant behaviour.
 
The usual places to go to a holiday are religious shrines, a beach, the mountains or even a historical monument. A few of them go to nondescript places and write about their experiences. The unique choice is another avenue to get displeased.
 
I invite suggestions, what another human/animal/alien behaviour can get an individual or group of individuals offended? You can also get offended at me for asking ideas, and ask me back `If you don’t have the idea of offending science, why did you write this blog?’.
 
 
 
 
 

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