Tuesday, 8 July 2008

How I am going to manage inflation?

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Inflation is hitting the roof. It is going to hurt very badly a person like me who has got a stable but largely immobile salary. All these years I have got used to a pseudo luxury life courtesy the stable prices. I could easily borrow (thanks to the low interest rates) to satiate my unreasonable consumer demands. In the middle of this golden consumer run, I managed to convince a bank into giving me a home loan. Now with the increasing prices and interest rates, the proverbial “hand to mouth existence” may be a dream because I may have to chew only on fingers. To keep myself afloat I have decided to adopt these novel methods to beat the inflation.

Food is the most important item of expenditure. To cut down on this expenditure I am going to pay frequent visits to every known relative and remotely connected friend’s house. My late stay in office will increase on the other days to ensure that my dinner is booked to office. Some of my colleagues have already noticed this and made chiding remarks about me. The thick skinned that I am won’t be perturbed by these economy watchers. On Sundays and weekends, I am going to visit every marriage/birthday party and even obsequies ceremony that I have been sent a card for. I will walk in empty handed with the standard slogan “I neither accept nor give gifts”.

Having taken care of the food, I will train my guns on how to optimize the prime location in which my house is located. I am seriously thinking of approaching companies to paint their logos on the outside, inside walls of my house. I don’t mind even if some company insists on renaming my house “(company name) Balu Nilayam”. Window Panes of my house can also be used for display. As far as clothing is concerned, if any company comes forward to give me their promotional t-shirts and other material, I don’t mind wearing them and standing on top of my house during prime time on the weekends.

As far as cosmetics, shaving aids etc.., is concerned, I am going to change over to the cheap local brands and write countless number of blogs on virtues of using such products. Travel would be managed by hitching rides from rank strangers or emotional blackmailing friends and relatives to drive me where I want. I am going to shop with friends and relatives not for the joy of it because at the moment of making the payment, I will pretend I have not brought my wallet and convince them into paying for me. As expected, credit cuts love and I don’t intend to cut the love they have on me by repaying, I am going to treat it as gift. To be reasonable, I am going to find a new person every time I want to shop.
I know all the above methods suggested are pretty shameless. But I am staying in a country where we have a Government that does not believing in controlling inflation but worried about implementing a N-deal. The technology has worked nowhere in the world. We have a so called Peoples Champion in the name of Left Parties who instead of finding methods to work with the Government to reduce the prices has withdrawn support on an issue that they did not originally oppose.

When the political parties can become shameless, why me remain upright? “Be a Roman when you are in Rome”. Nothing is more important than me.

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