Friday, 20 May 2011

I Me and Myself Drainstrom about Education in India (Part II)

Part I Link

I, Me and Myself meet up recently to discuss about Primary Education in India today. As always the snipers, ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON also came.

Me started "I can't believe that *** school has added international school to its name. They don’t even have place to park their school bus and they call themselves an international school and on this pretext they have increased their fees by 30%".

MECON "You dummy, they have a website and hence they call themselves an international school"

Myself "In that school, syllabus is completed 2 times in a single year. Xth standard students have to pay a fine even if they are found laughing inside the campus"

MYSELFCON "You should be happy that school management does not use them for construction work"

I "That is ok, what about *** School, admission form is issued only if parents are post graduates"

ICON "Thank god! They don’t insist that both parents should be drawing salary in the highest income tax bracket"

Me "If parents have to teach children at home, why should we send them to school paying such high fees?"

MECON "It is just like that, what practice you get in a driving school is not sufficient for driving safely on the road. Ultimately what practice you get in your car counts"

MYSELF "Education is becoming an absurd business. My daughter's school they insist that we buy uniform, text books, note books and even lunch boxes from the school authorities"

I "What is this lunch boxes also from the school, this cant be true. You did not ask why?"

Myself "I did ask, they say it is to ensure that all children eat the same quantity of food. Ofcourse for asking this question, I had to pay the APE fees, I mean Advice for Parents Enlightenment Fees"

MYSELFCON "Ofcourse, after paying the fees, he was driving and cursing like an ape".

Me "This is nothing in my daughter's school alongwith the fees, we are supposed to deposit into the school bank account FARDt i.e. Fine Amount Reimbursement Deposit, so everytime a student commits an offence, the account will be debited"

MECON "They could have very well called it FART"

I "Just like prepaid mobile, this is prepaid fines"

ICON "It is time that traffic police introduced something like that for you"

Me "There is a plethora of celebrations these days viz., Annual Day, Sports Day, Founders Day, School Day and Bus Day. Worse recently they celebrated Earth Day and asked the children to walk 3 kms from school to the venue. They made them stand in dark for an hour and for that charged a fee of Rs.500/-"

Myself " Be happy that they don't celebrate Farmville Day and ask the students to gift things like sapling, cow, elephant or even a pig"

MYSELFCON "Actually gifting pig would be a great idea, easy to rear and when it does breed, a bounty to share"

I "There is no point in discussing further. Education has become a full fledged business, let us leave."

ICON "Yes boss, that realization of yours is a SPEAKASIA moment of truth"

As the three leave, ICON, MECON AND MYSELFCON sing

ABCEFG, C is your child,
D to E you are Desperate to get them Educated
F with G, Schools are Flushing with Greed
H and I, Hypocracy and Irrationality of parents is their feed
J to K, Judge to Kabadiwala wants his child to study in English.
LM Lots of Money they spend
NOP No options for Parents they say in the end.
QRS The schools quietly rake in stacks of fund.
U and V, Underhand and Vicious methods are part of their blend.
W? Where is the law of the land?
X Y Xtreme corruption in education but nobody does a Jantar Mantar for this Y?
Z People should get the zeal to arrest this disgusting trend.

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