Horrorscope for fashionists

This is the horror-scope for fashionists this week

Aries (March 21 − April 19) – Due to the entry of Saturn into Venus, your attempts at wardrobe malfunction will flop very badly.

Taurus (April 20 − May 20) – The struggle between Saturn and Pluto over entry into Venus will ensure that your ramp shoes turn into skates.

Gemini (May 21 − June 20) – Due to Jupiter’s attraction to Moon, you will find that your body odor sinks your deodrant but you say to the world it is the latest biogas variant from France.

Cancer (June 21 − July 22) – Due to water dispute between Moon and Mars, you wearing soiled clothes to parties will become the environment friendly trend of the fortnight.

Leo (July 23 − August 22) – Due to bandh in Mercury, you will be unable to upload on FB the latest leather accessories you have brought.

Virgo (August 23 − September 22) – Due to Uranus ire about diesel price rise, your waist belt will crack on the ramp and vastness of size zero waist will get revealed.

Libra (September 23 − October 22) – Due to presence of Curosity on Mars, all silicon will vanish from Earth and you will find only these models are available

Scorpio (October 23 − November 21) – Due to friction between Earth and Moon, your vanity bag will malfunction on the ramp and all your unpaid bills will lie scattered for public viewing.

Sagittarius (November 22 − December 21) – Fed up with struggle between Saturn and Pluto, Venus flirts with Uranus and as a result of this your planned wardrobe malfunction in the portico goes unnoticed.

Capricorn (December 22 − January 19) – Due to peace between Saturn and Pluto, your controversial statement about sexual preferences is welcomed by the moral police.

Aquarius (January 20 − February 18) – Due to Venus break up with Uranus, this becomes the show stealer for you on the ramp

Pisces (February 19 − March 20) – Due to new found friendship of Saturn and Mars, combined with your waning popularity, you come up with weird idea of walking the ramp on this vehicle (you tube video).

If you don’t think you will experience any of these conditions during the week, you have wasted your precious time reading this blog, shame on you.