Wednesday 15 November 2017

The Laws Of The Mutton Biryani Cult


                Everybody has their own cult, why not biryani lovers to be more precise Mutton Biryani lovers? It’s time Mutton Biryani lovers of the world had their own cult. A true `Mutton Biryani’ lover can never commit a crime. `Mutton Biryani’ can be consumed at very economical rates, so you don’t need to commit a crime. After having a `Mutton Biryani’ all your temptations are satisfied, so you cannot commit a crime. `Mutton Biryani’ is the ultimate pleasure, so you need  not commit a crime for pleasure.
Every cult should have its own rules. By the power of the 1000s of Mutton Biryanis I have relised and assimilated in my system, I hereby declare the rules for the Mutton Biryani Cult (M-BC).

ü  Thou shall always mention the words `Mutton Biryani’ with a divine awe.

ü  Thou shall never have a `Mutton Biryani’ in hurry. This also disqualifies you from entering any `Mutton Biryani’ eating challenges because such challenges involve gobbling food, and `Mutton Biryani’ has to be relished and imbibed in every vein of your body.

ü  Thou shall always say `Blood may or not be thicker than water but Mutton Biryani is the only Biryani that does matter’.

ü  Thou shall have `Mutton Biryani’ only with hands. You don’t require external aids to relish your passion.

ü  Thou shall not mind table manners while having a `Mutton Biryani’. You shall tear apart the `Mutton’, chew the bones, making slurping sounds if it is tasty, and lick your fingers if needed.

ü  Thou shall travel across the length and breadth of the country to have authentic `Mutton Biryani’. There is no point in having Dindugul Mutton Biryani sitting in Kolkatta or the vice versa. If there comes a variety of `Lower Congo Mutton Biryani’, thou shall travel there to taste it.

ü  Thou shall on reaching a new place, first seek not shelter but information where the best `Mutton Biryani’ is available.

ü  Thou shall relish `Mutton Biryani’ in its purest form without any Ullu err. Allo added to it, nor dilute its taste by having it with Raitha. If you are foolish enough to believe  that a `Mutton Biryani’ can be made tastier by having it with salan, you’ll be excommunicated from the cult.

ü  Thou shall use `Mutton Biryani’ as a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, simile, metaphor, and if possible as a preposition, conjunction and interjection.

ü  Between `Mutton Biryani’ and all other earthly pleasures, thou shall swear by `Mutton Biryani’


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