Thursday, 16 July 2020

A Dummies Guide To Excelling in WhatsApp University - Part II

Credit must be given where it is due. The impact that WhatsApp University has had on the knowledge base is unquantifiable. Is there any aspect of life on which the institution has had no effect. It is the true definition of an open university, there are no students nor teachers nor a campus, yet it has impacted our life beyond comprehension. The other day, I received a message from one of the WhatsApp university students about sunrise. I had to scurry to check on the fact whether the sun does rise in the east or not. To begin with, I had to decipher whether is it the sun which is sustaining life on Earth or life here is illuminating the sun. 

Students/Faculty/Professors and Doyens of all universities would have knowledge in limited areas.  It is the students/teachers of this renowned university who have expertise in all the fields. In all other universities, the syllabus is based on certain validated studies. In WhatsApp university, the sky is the limit, and sensibility is what it demits.

WhatsApp University offers a unique opportunity for students not only to learn but also create their own knowledge. However, as in every other sphere of excellence, content creation has its own rules and methodology. I am unfortunately too sceptic to become a part of the WhatsApp University. However, there is no shortage of students from this e-light university in my friends and family circle. Based on this understanding, I have come up with a dummies guide to being an expert participant in WhatsApp University. This is, in fact, the second part of the guide.

You should begin with generating quotes because this is the easiest thing to do. One of the safest methods to do is attribute it to Albert Einstein, who is long dead and cannot refute any of them. Further, his image is such that no one would question your quote. The important aspect is you have to garnish your random thoughts to make it look like it has been said by this noble soul. To do so, you should have reasonable language skills. It is not a problem, you can watch a few videos of Shashi Tharoor, and this problem would be solved. You can even attribute to the People’s President DR APJ Abdul Kalam. In his case, the language can be understandable but soft, keeping in tune with his nature. If you want to attribute the quote to someone like Alexander the Great, it has to be ferocious.

Next, you can upgrade your to content generation on the image front. To begin with, you should acquire some necessary photo-shopping skills. You should have an idea what to modify because if you try to modify the content, to mock those who are modifying the truth, you are bound to get invective reactions. It is essential to earn the peer respect of the `MAJORITY.’

To begin with, you can replace in a historical photograph or a picture from an iconic moment of another world leader with your favourite leader. To increase your wares amongst your `MAJORITY’ peers, you can superimpose the face of a leader who is hated by them, in a scandalous situation or place. Use some photo-shopping skills to make it look authentic.

The senior level in this field would be to morph the image of your religious artefacts, on the monument of another religion.  Then you can begin a rant and claim that location as yours. Do it at an obscure portion of the memorial from an obtuse angle. The `MAJORITY’ gang will take care of the rest even if the job is half well done. Add a few quotes from some unheard of scripture to claim authenticity. Never mind the mayhem it will create.

If you want to excel at Medicine in WhatsApp University, Corona Virus era is the best. You can cook up any remedy, attribute it to a doctor from China or a World Bank Economist or a character from science fiction to give it credibility. To make it unquestionable, assign it to your country’s cave age medical system. You have to add a few exotic concoctions, and a simple process to arrive at the medicine. To make it look authentic, just mention so and so native medicine expert has offered a price of Rs.50,000 to anyone who can disprove this theory. Don’t mention this expert's contact details anywhere in your material. The incorrigible rationalist's head will go for a spin, searching in google for this expert. 

With this ends, Part-II of the guide.  In the next blog, we will see the Part-I of this guide.

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