Turn over a new leaf

Turn over a new leaf
If you see me eating beef
Don't get into grief
Instead smile with relief
It's beef not your mid reef

Turn over a new leaf
Get rid of the belief
That your belief
is the superior belief
It's a belief
neither the coral reef
nor the Burj Khaleef

Why Home Made Food Is So Good?

Is your nose delicious?

Won't eat what you preach is good

Will eat what displeases your mood

If you want, eat shoots and roots

My taste buds want flesh and bones

What you eat doesn't make you any good

Demonising food isn't how you please any god.

Don't poke your nose into my food

If I find it delicious, it may end up as my food.

Home Made Food

For valid reasons, Home made food is healthy

For obvious reasons, it is stomach friendly

For unnamed reasons, it does not make you bulky

All three reasons are one and the same, I know it silly

They say child is god and never says a lie

At the sight of home-made food, he or she does always cry

Contential, Punjabi or Chinese, a new recipe every time

Hazarding a guess what it is, is my predicament every time

Get critical and you will find rice become paste

Spice in sambar will make your rectum precipitate

A married man learns it the hard way

To say, honey, have to go to office early today

When he sees, Kesari Bath coming his way

Home Made Mysore Paks are the hardest known substances

Needless to say, Gulab Jamoons are their nearest cousins.

Stand up in respect for

Milkmaid which has saved many a homemade khers

Chilly sauces which have helped upma disappear from plates

Food ordering apps which prevent cooking disasters on special days

Sigh in disgust at

The individual who said `the way to a man's heart is his stomach'

He sure left a bad taste in every man's mouth and a weak stomach.

Sigh in disgust

At the countless cookery programs and their recipes

Which has converted kitchens into laboratories

That sarcastic man when he says his wife's cooking is inspiring

Actually meant it keeps his sarcasm going.

A Mistaken Collection Of Funny Poems

What Was A Mistake?

It was a mistake to assume

At 15, grades meant knowledge.

At 20, a good job meant life.

At 25, marriage meant bliss.

At 30, a pledged home meant asset.

At 35, driving a car meant pride

At 40 plus, my poetries amuse people

What is a Mistake?

Be bothered about the glass than quench your thirst.

To say err is human and worry about six sigma

To assume grass is greener on the other side, standing in a desert.

Get married and accept that it takes two for an argument

Queue up for a free offer and say there are no free lunches in the world

Reluctantly leave office in the wee hours and claim there is no place like home.

Wax about the early bird that catches the prey and claim better late than never

 Entrust your future to an orator and understand that empty vessels make more sound

To say democracy is by the people and quell & sedate dissent.

Was it a Mistake?

My Friends said propose to your girl on the banks of a body of water

With a card, words of love and a bunch of flower.

God only knows, when I did, why she reacted like an angry clover

I gave her my ration card, a cauliflower and in front of a gutter

With romantic words, if not interested, give it to your sister.

It Was A Mistake

Instead of the brake, to press the accelerator

To believe, right turn becomes left, in reverse gear.

Insist on checking air pressure, in the steering wheel.

To confess to my wife, that she is the better driver.

Funny Poetries On `Who Am I"?

They said the theme is `Who am I?’

I thought about it, till my grey cells went dry

Inside my soul everything is grey, sleazy and full of greed

I said to myself, if I have to say, WTF – What to Fake.

 I said to myself, WTF – Why Try and Fail

I decided to describe myself, front to hind.

I shall exercise discretion

So here goes the description

Scalp sparsely populated, the few available strands coloured.

Inside the scalp near vacuum

Eyes which never lie but full of sty

Ears which welcome complimentary stuff, to taunts they turn deaf.

Face Oily, Nose twiddly and Tongue loves it spicy

Neck lengthy, spondylosis its best buddy

Spine twisted, never in the presence of boss it is straightened.

Heart, full of sleaze, greed, and treachery.

Stomach ever ready, to devour a biryani.

Here, I shall exercise my discretion

Knees which are weak, creak and tweak in motion.

Feets which are very fleet, to run across the street, when wife comes to beat.

My inside story is mediocre

I’m hollow at the core

No six pack to make me a cynosure

You can now wake up from your snore

*******************************************

Whom Am I?

One Question which will never get an honest answer

Never a question pleases anyone

Definitely not this one

Breathtaking it would be, if a pilot asked it mid-air.

Heart stopping it would be, if a surgeon asked it after opening a patient’s skull.

Refreshing it would be, if elected representatives asked themselves.

Soul slapping it would be, if freedom of speech walked up and asked those who get offended with it.

Fitting it would be, if calf asked the self appointed sons and daughters of `Gau Mata’.

Catastrophic it would be, Catastrophic it would be

If a husband angrily asked at the end of his wife’s shopping voyage.