Monday, 2 November 2015

Are BMTC buses meant for transporting goods?

The below attached photographs are from 314 series (KA01FA1583) on 01/11/2015 at 7:30 a.m. Half the bus was occupied with the goods. There was no place to move around. This is a common situation in BMTC buses. No wonder people refrain using BMTC especially if they can afford private transport. What's the use of 1000s of Bus days?

Friday, 2 October 2015

Funny Poetry on Schools, Doctors, and Bengaluru Roads

Bengaluru Roads
A monument of potholes

Neither gold bar
Nor in them you can find tar

To lay them, they say we spend crores
But they crumble due to droppings of a few crows

Rain, Rain come any day
But don't wash our roads away

We don't want roads of Beverly hill
At least, not ones, which resemble a landfill.

Schools

Every kid needs education
Else how will schools charge donation

Schools charge high fees parents say
Along with Munni, parents get educated in doing projects, schools replay.

To teach sonny all the alphabet
Parents become school's puppet

Sometimes founders day, many a times this or that day
Through their noses, parents have to pay

Fees which put to shame sleaze
Kids who say Amma instead of Mummy, pay fine, please

Schools call themselves international
Just because their website is operational

Parents made it despite studying in normal schools.
What makes them sleep outside convent schools?

Is it an inferiority complex?
Or has education become complex.

The Journalist

He screams on behalf of the nation
I wonder who gave him the sanction

Is it news or noise hour
Nobody gets to speak during his yappy hour

As unbiased as the slope uphill
Logic matched only by a cycle downhill

Top of the TRP they show
Only because I don't switch off such bow, bow

I HAD A SNEEZE

I had a sneeze
Lasted long enough to scare my missez

Ordered me to go to a GP
Who first checked my BP

Neither, high nor low
At 40 plus, he wondered how

Due to the AC, I did shiver
He decided to check my liver
Said the report `Cactus Chutney' he can devour

The Doc was not yet done with my money
I laughed though it was not funny

Thus, started a cough
He said, after a laugh, it means your lungs are not good enough

Report came for the x-ray
His lungs are happy and gay

Next, he wanted to do a biopsy
And find why my skin is dark
I told my dog can bite off your chopsy
With and without a bark

I went to find reason for a virulent sneeze
The doctor with his bills was planning to take one of my kidneys

Getting Married

Amma said it's time you got married
Enough for you have I curried

I replied if cooking is the bother
Let me learn to handle the cooker

Fed up of you late night weekend
Only a shrewd girl can bring this to an end

If opening the door is the reason for this karaoke
50 Rupees, 50 Rupees, I reasoned, costs a duplicate key

There should be somebody to take care of you when old
Before that, she will demand from me a lot of gold

Mom used her trump card
Before I close my eyes, want to see your wedding card

For 15 years, I have been married.
Not hen-pecked but hen kicked.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Biryani Lover

Have you ever confessed love for a particular item, I mean, food item? I don’t hide my love for mutton biryani, to the extent that, my name has been prefixed by the word mutton biryani on many an instances. A few of my friends have suggested that I’ve an Obsessive Compulsory Disorder for Mutton Biryani and they are not any farther from the truth than a motorist would be from a pothole on Bengaluru road. There are days when everything appears to me like a biryani usually when a weekend is approaching and I’ve planned to have biryani at a particular place. Here is a narration of one such day.


Usually, I wake up as fresh as a biryani which has not been eaten for days but on this particular Friday I woke up with all the anticipation of a weekend.



To begin with I had to burn the calories, which is a more difficult process than making a Hyderabadi Biryani. Just because I eat a lot of goat’s meat, Oats is what I get at breakfast to eat.

 After all the jogging and exercising I come back home only to get a look spicier than an Andhra Biryani look from my wife, just because I did not switch off the balcony lights and forgot to bolt the main gate.


The drive to office was very pleasant and I was able to find the green signal always. It was like having an Awadhi Biryani.




There was one BMTC bus which was emitting smoke as dark as a Dindugul Biryani.




Then came my Secretary looking like as delicious as  a Thallasery Biryani but not within my reach.




I found my boss to be in a spicier mood than a Dhone Biryani.




The meetings are as boring and tasteless as a biryani prepared in a five-star hotel for European tourists.

Lunch in canteen by providence was Vegetable Biryani



Work was so hectic I felt like the main constituent of a Kheema Biryani



The feedback from the users was as mixed as a Kolkatta Biryani




Finally, the day was over, the weekend had begun. I felt like having Ambur Biryani, which I did.


Me, Books, and an Audible Milestone

 I can confidently boast that I am more receptive to technology than most 50 year olds. Right from learning how to use the Internet, to writ...