Sunday, 13 July 2008
Platonic relationships, making them work
Jaane Tu Jaane Na has brought platonic friendship into the limelight once again. The famous Hindi film dialogue goes “Ladka aur Ladki kabhi dosth nahin ho sakthe” (means A boy and a girl can never be friends). One thing is for sure Platonic friendship as projected in the film can never exist between a man and a woman unless and until both of them are insensitive objects. Platonic friendship does exist and can exist subject to certain conditions which experience has taught me:-
a. The contact between platonic friends has to be limited and in reasonable hours of the day. Innumerous SMSes and emails make it vulnerable to the applicability of law of diminishing marginal utility and bound to die down, get into romance or result in irreparable misunderstandings. Too much contacts lead to misunderstanding in families and suspicious spouses lead to sacrificing the friendship itself
b. Physical contact between Platonic friends should definitely be avoided. This either leads to romance if unmarried or in case of married people, to disastrous consequences for all the parties involved. Never try to convert a platonic friendship into romance especially if the other party does not like it.
c. Don’t get too personal with your platonic friend. It reveals your grey areas and the scope for getting intimate increases.
d. Never have platonic relationships with those you meet and interact on a day to day basis. Ego, jealous friends, gossiping colleagues are sure to dissolve it. Let your platonic friend be one you meet not more than 2 times a week. The novelty will be sustained for a longer term.
e. Never make promises in a platonic relationship. If you make one, better learn to keep it. There is no other thread in a platonic relationship than trust.
f. Disclose your grey areas in the initial stages of a platonic relationship. It is better if the relationship breaks-up at the initial stage itself. Break-up of a platonic relationship when it reaches the peak is more difficult to accept than a love affair break-up.
Platonic relationships are very easy to make but difficult to sustain in the long run. It is the most wonderful relationship in this world but everyday it is a tight rope walk.
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