Saturday, 16 August 2008

Heart can forgive but never trust again


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“Heart can forgive but never trust again”, this was the message I got from a friend recently and they have got carved in my heart since then. I somehow don’t support this logic and usually counter such messages but this one has left me dumbfounded. One more saying which I definitely don’t believe in is “Human relationships are like glass, once broken can never be put together again”. How can you equate human relationships with a piece of glass? Human relationships are so complex. We get happy, loving, angry, emotional and at times romantic with people whom we trust the most. A glass is just a non-living thing which can be recycled many a times.

Why does Trust break? I can think of reasons like failure to keep commitments; Betrayal; Financial Fraud and most importantly behaving contrary to the image we have about a person. At times, we fail in commitments made to our loved ones, either due to busy schedules; fit of rage; their own negative vibes in enforcing the commitments made, etc. If somebody failed on the minor commitments made to me, I give that person a through verbal spanking or put him off for a few weeks or months and get back again if he/she repeatedly felt sorry about that act. Erasing the trust in a person for small reasons is not good for one’s health and soul. Trust is not an ice cream which gets melted if the refrigerator is kept open accidentally.

Betrayal is serious and does result in loss of trust. I do find it difficult to trust a person who acts contrary to the image he/she has created in my mind. When the reasons are serious enough to break the trust in other person, it is good to actually break it. However, it is necessary when we break trust in another person, we tell them the reasons. Every person has a right to correct himself in life. If we tell a person reasons for loss of trust, he/she can correct himself. It is very inhuman and cruel to leave a person in suspended animation.

As much is as breaking trust is bad, so is also reckless losing trust in others. Breaking trust for trivial reasons is not fair. Every human being is entitled to his own aberrations in a relationship but that does not mean they don’t regard us or betraying us. It is just that once they were stupidly human. Being mentally strong is not being unforgiving. Of all the attitudes, the attitude to forgive is the greatest. Usually, the receiver becomes petty in his own eyes. I think our lives would be so pleasant if we can consign to emotional dustbin sayings like “Heart can forgive but never trust again”. I am yet to reply to this friend’s message. Maybe the comments on this blog would help me to do so because I am not able to find a slick but meaningful reply to it.

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