Saturday, 23 August 2014

A Few Funny and Sarcastic Status Updates on Facebook

All those who post selfies frequently have a psychological problem
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Atleast they reveal it  
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They ask you to be the early bird and scorn when you are the first at office canteen or to leave office 
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Chetan Bhagat

5 point someone
3 mistakes of my life
Two States
One night at call centre

Releasing next Half Girlfriend

What next... Zero Author? 

Some actors are so short of expression that in a motion picture they look like still photographs.
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It is time Indians understood that an ICU ward is not a wedding podium to crowd it.
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Bangalore has no place to dump its garbage and Bangaloreans have no place to park their cars
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If silence is golden, I have a golden voice while singing because I go silent when asked to sing.
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We are a nation who cannot stand in a queue even for buying masala puri.#indianness
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You should see the Tele Shopping Network ads, the interviewers don't even think of being unbiased
There are no permanent friends or enemies in politics as is the case with spots in an office parking lot or urinals.
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Journalists are committed to telling truth.... their version of truth.
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All those couples who got married or will get married on April 1 have a great sense of humour #Aprilfool
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Just like Friday is treated as Weekend, Monday should be treated as warmup day   #mondayblues
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YOU

Simple living, high thinking

Me

No thinking, only swiping  
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Females driving a vehicle treat accelerator as their husband/boyfriend, always have the foot on it.
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The Govt. Of India announced cancellation of all bank notes prior to 2005...
Now some people are eyeing a similar announcement for weddings ....
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If you want to commit a scam, commit one which will compel Arnab Goswami to question you on behalf of the nation #nationwantstoknow
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To err is human, to be perfect is plastic
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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat. 
For every male action, there is a female
overreaction. 
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Given the state of roads and heavy rains, Bangaloreans have no shortage of ponds to immerse Ganesha idols
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Married life begins after you settle the honeymoon bills not on the date of marriage #marriedlife #honeymoonbills  
A colleague at end of the day, "How was the day?"

Me "Better, unlike yesterday , today there was a wooden plank to sit on the stove " 
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The British practiced divide and rule, now the traffic police is doing the same thing with dividers and lane discipline. That is why we Indians break them religously #India #Indiantraffic #bangaloretraffic
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3 comments:

  1. True satire... True sarcasm... I have a a very good sense of humour but after reading ur satire I feel like applying most of it in my blog!!!!
    shahensworld.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete
  2. I liked the thing on Chetan Bhagat the best while enjoying all the others with a wide smile on my face!

    RE

    ReplyDelete

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