Warning : Contains some inappropriate content. Righteous exit here itself
Velu and Selvi
have been married for the past 10 years and are blessed with a 9 year old
daughter named Sharanya. There is never a dull moment in their household;
either there is bubbling happiness or Selvi’s stereophonic screams coming out
of their home. Velu goes mute when Selvi tests out her vocal chords.
Their home, by
the way, was a double storied structure. They stayed in the second floor and
the other two floors were let out. The main villain in this story is the windowpane
of arc shaped window in the hall. During the evenings, It seemed that his
window pane has a naughty mind of its own and often created optical illusions
to a person coming from outside. If Selvi was kneading batter for poori while
watching TV, to the person outside it would look like she was strangulating
someone. If Velu was bending and picking
up a glass on the floor to hand it to Selvi, it would look like he was touching
her feet. They wanted to change the windowpane but could not get a carpenter to
do this small work.
Velu worked somewhere;
even I have no idea where he works. The most important thing is he made enough
money to pay all his EMIs; pay for his daughter’s education, save money and of
course could beat the inflation to eat, dress, commute and pay for Selvi’s
mobile recharge. Selvi was a homemaker. She
watched TV, talked on her mobile and when she was bored of both, used to cook. All
the other works at home were taken care of by Shantha, the 70 year old
housemaid.
Theirs was an
arranged marriage. Yes, Velu had agreed for his marriage to be arranged with
Selvi, because his father had arranged to donate his property to an old age
home, if Velu insisted on marrying Maria who was neither from their caste,
religion, language, state or even country. Maria was a French girl.
Velu and Selvi
got married and they had a kid within the statutory breeding period permissible
for an Indian couple i.e. one year. Selvi was a Typical Tamil Ponnu (girl), she
would insist on going to Murugan temple on a cold morning when Velu wanted to make
love. You know; when it comes to such things wives always win.
Selvi knew of
Velu’s past, in fact he himself had confessed of his relationship with Maria. Velu
is one of those perfect MIS husbands. Velu could not keep any secret from his
wife and that got him into marital trouble more often than not. Velu would
inform his wife even if a good looking female bumped him into him in the office
elevator. For the next few days, Selvi would keep looking for lipstick
marks/hair strands/perfume fragrance on every portion of his covered body,
which can be scanned by the naked eye. Velu despite all his perversions never
cheated on his wife. Selvi knew this but always kept him on a tight leash. However, the only woman whom Selvi could be
sure of in Velu’s company was Shantha. Shantha in the past had busted a few
husbands who were double timing their wife. She had great regards for Selvi
because unlike other ladies in the street she did not wear jeans or bannian
(that was what she felt of tops) but was always dressed like a Typical Tamil
Ponnu.
It was in this
scenario Poonam, a divorcee came to stay next door with her five year old
daughter Prerana. Poonam was a fashion model and now an event coordinator. She
had all the charm which would make even the most resolute man lose his peace
every time he saw her and needless to say about Velu’s reaction, he was in awe
of her.
Though Selvi
liked Poonam, she was always suspicious of her husband’s intentions. Selvi
hated the way Poonam ate any fruit especially a mango. She would wade into it
and make sounds similar to Sunny Leone. Yeah, Selvi once in a while checked
into Velu’s laptop to see what he was up to and once noticed it had a folder,
Sunny’s Best. Presuming, it was about Sunny Gavaskar, the batsman, she opened
the folder and needless to say she was not impressed with the skills of this
Sunny. She did give Velu a mouthful about what she felt about his tastes. However,
that did not deter him from regularly updating that folder.
Poonam thought
very high of Velu as a person though she knew that he was a roving eye. After this
admiration was expressed to Selvi, she became suspicious of the relationship
between Velu and Poonam. She stopped going even to her native place. The best
laid plans of mice and men (at times even women) go awry. Selvi’s grandmother
who was vibrantly alive unknowingly stomped on a vibrant high tension wire and
got electrocuted. Worried about leaving Velu alone with Poonam, Selvi rushed to
her native place only when he agreed to accompany her. She also convinced him
to stay back till the obsequies ceremony was over.
Within a period
of 5 days, fate for the second time played spoilsport with Selvi’s marital
security. On the fourth day night, Velu received an urgent call from his office
and had to leave for Bangalore. Selvi was desperate to follow him but religious
customs prevented her. She could not walk up to her parents and say `I am
suspicious of your son-in-law’s relationship with that Chikni Chameli Poonam
and can’t leave him alone in Bangalore’. This would cause a huge turmoil in the
family which was already saddened by a death. Even before Velu could reach the
village bus stop, she started getting images of Poonam romping with him in the
bed.
The world seemed
to be crashing on Selvi’s head but as they say nothing is impossible for an individual
in danger. Remember Archimedes? Selvi knew that Velu had a stomach which was as
solid as ice cream at 40 degrees Celsius and a week of hotel food would mean
keeping the ice cream in a microwave oven at 250 degree Celsius for a week. The
only thing he could cook was to boil water. Shantha cooked for her whenever she
was ill. However since her house was far away, she insisted on staying back if
she cooked dinner. Selvi had hatched a master plan and wanted to jump for joy
but she controlled herself. She called up Shantha and on picking the phone
Shantha in Tamil said `medem, I am sorry your grandmother died’
Selvi in a
sobbing tone replied `Shantha, there is a bigger problem and only you can help
me’
Shantha `aiyoo,
why such big words? Tell me ma, you are
like my daughter’
Selvi `my
husband is coming back to Bangalore because he has some important office work
and you know he cannot eat hotel food. I want you to cook for him breakfast and
dinner for a week. I will pay you how much ever you want’
Shantha `that’s
all, I will do it but you know when I cook dinner I will stay back at your
home’
Selvi gleefully
`no problem…no problem… you can… you can’
Shantha `then don’t
worry, I will stay at your home and take care of him for a week’
Selvi ended the
call feeling as happy as a convict who gets Presidential pardon on the night
before he is to be hanged. She knew with Shantha around, Velu and Poonam could
not go ahead with their clandestine plans.
When Velu
reached home, he was surprised to see Shantha at his door step. When he came to
know of Selvi’s deal, he happily agreed and had no problem with Shantha staying
back in his home for a week.
Selvi used to
call up Shantha everyday just to ensure that her instructions of cooking
breakfast and dinner for Velu were being complied with and most importantly the
overnight stay. Finally, the obsequies ceremony was over and Selvi happily
returned home by the Sunday morning bus. However, she did not inform Velu and wanted
to surprise him. The bus reached Bangalore three hours late. They got down on
main road and walked towards home. Two hundred yards away, she saw Shantha
having tea at a nearby hotel.
Shantha came and
voluntarily talked to her and said `Poonam madam had come home an hour back.
Both of them were discussing about English movies. I was getting bored so came
out’.
Selvi thought in
her mind `could it be Sunny Leone movies?’. She asked Shantha `did she come
home every night?’
Shantha `No ma,
she is so busy, only today she came’
Selvi was definite
about what would have happened after Shantha had left. She left Sharnaya in her
friend’s house to ask for school notes, so that she does not see any thing ugly
and rushed home. From a distance, she could see through the naughty hall windowpane,
shadow of a woman bending down and a male shadow standing in front of the
female shadow and frequently trying to put his head up and down. Selvi forget
about the hazy shadows that the window gave, she could only remember Sunny
Leone videos. Much more horrifying was the fact that the main door was open.
How shameless both could get, she thought, what would have happened if Shantha
came back? She wanted to catch them red handed so she croutched and slowly
walked up the stairs. As she got near, she could hear Poonam saying “hmmm…
tasty….wow….ahhhhh. I never had anything tasty like this in my life’. She could
not take it any longer, took the broom in the balcony and rushed into the open
door and the sight she got was shocking.
Prerana was playing on the floor with Sharanya’s dolls, Poonam having a
mango in her own style and Velu uncorking a Dettol bottle.
Poonam saw Selvi
and jokingly commented `what a sweeping entry’ Selvi embarrassed said `he, he,
he you know I always want the house clean. By the by, what are you doing here?’
Poonam `This
Dettol bottle was not opening. Velu has such a tight grip, so I thought I will
take his help but he too is struggling. Meanwhile he offered me this really
tasty mangoes and I was eating them’
Selvi
sarcastically asked `will you never slice and have a mango?’
Poonam `No, I
have slice only when it is not the mango season’
Selvi and Poonam
laughed it off. Velu had understood what was going on in Selvi’s mind and he
laughed the loudest.
w
