Indian Crickets most heartbreaking moment

This maybe the most inappropriate blog to be writing at a time when cricket lovers across the country are celebrating 25 years of India’s victory in the Prudential World Cup. But ask any die-hard Indian Cricket fan of the 80’s, which was the most heartbreaking moment in Indian Cricket? Pat the reply will come, Javeed Miandad last ball six in Sharjah.

I don’t want to get into the scores of the match but woefully recall that India had won 80% of the match. The only redemptions for Pakistan on that day were the death over spell of one young upcoming Pakistani fast bowler by name Wasim Akram but the man who changed it all was the “Street Fighter”, “Wily Old Fox” Javeed Miandad. Many will acknowledge that Javeed Miandad was the pioneer of soft hands in one day cricket. Just dab awkwardly and take a quick single was Miandad’s invention.

For the T20 cricket fans, running for a bye with the ball in the wicket keeper’s glows may seem an innovation. But Javeed Miandad did it on that dreadful day off the penultimate ball. If the keeper had hit the stumps, India would have won the match but history had other ideas.

Last ball, four runs to get, Chetan Sharma with the ball in his hand. Chetan possibly attempted a Yorker but it turned out to be a juicy full toss and Javeed who was waiting in his hunches, deposited the ball into the midwicket fence. Kapil Dev had erred in calculation. He should have been bowling the last over.

Until that match, India had won most of its one day matches against Pakistan in Sharjah. Javeed Miandad rewrote history; after that day, India hardly won any match against Pakistan in Sharjah. To me from that day till date, the name Javeed Miandad only evokes the image of him hitting that last ball six. Even in the famous quarter final match in Bangalore during the 1996 WC, until he was out, I was dreading that Pakistan would get the runs.

Chetan Sharma is one of the greatest enigmas of Indian Cricket. He had a lot of potential as an all rounder but never played consistently well. He won a crucial one day match against England with his bat. To his credit, he took the first hat trick in a World cup match against New Zealand. Unfortunately, most cricket fans of 80’s recall him as Javeed Miandad’s bunny. This match was more than what the score board reflects. For months, cricket fans could not stop cribbing about that one ball. For me, it will always remain Indian Cricket’s most heart-breaking moment.

Is this a part of our mindset

I have been a victim many a times of reaching to a marriage reception on time and finding only marriage decorators for company. With passage of time, I have become wise and usually reach a marriage reception, a couple of hours late from the printed commencement time.

I have never been able to find a reason why a marriage reception never starts on time. If the hosts can’t start a marriage reception on time, why don’t they print it in the wedding card, like, say “Anytime after 8 pm on 20/06/2008”?

Why put a specific time and not follow it? How can a host be so insensitive to their guests? Do the hosts find it funny or stupid, if somebody turns up on time for a marriage reception? It is ridiculous to note that the hosts, who were busy with the reception till 12 am, get up at 4am to get ready for the muhurat.


I have never seen a muhurat which got delayed by a few hours. I think it is a part of our mindset wherein we fear unseen stars but don’t respect the time and commitments of our well known guests.

Please speak out for the families of 25 Indian Sailors who went missing on board "MV Rezzak"

February 18, 2008, a cargo ship “MV Rezzak” left the coast of Turkey towards Russia. 25 Indian sailors recruited by Pelican Marine Pvt. Ltd, the Mumbai-based firm were on board. The ship went missing of the Turkish coast. It has been nearly 4 months since but there is nothing concrete on the fate of the sailors or the ship.

Speculating about some of the reasons why the ship has not been located yet, Neeraj Tyagi - brother of one of the crew members said, "My personal belief is that the ship has been either hijacked or the company itself has kept the ship in hiding to claim insurance money."

Recovery Overseas, a legal firm based on Chincholi Bunder Road in Mumbai’s Malad area, on 3 June, has written to the families of the missing crew, saying that they had died “due to marine hazards in ship MV Rezzak”. To add fuel to the fire, M/s. Pelican Marine, has started contacting them for no-objection certificates, or NOCs, that state the ship has sunk and the crew is dead, so that it can pursue the case with the ship’s insurer, said Uma Mohan, sister of the missing ship’s chief engineer, Mahendra Gopal Krishna Menon. “We are not willing to give such an NOC. How can Pelican Marine decide that the ship has sunk and the crew are dead?” Mohan asked. Mohan alleged Recovery Overseas was acting on behalf of Pelican Marine.

The Indian is at its docile best and merely writing to the Panama authorities to locate the ship. Maybe if some VIPs were on board the ship, a special team would have been sent to locate the ship. Even some foreign agencies would have been hired but these were ordinary men on board, so who cares.

Unfortunately, time is running out for the government as the families of the crew members plan to step up the agitation so that the Indian government does not "forget" the incident. The family of the 25 sailors do require an answer. If the Government is not willing to act, we should make it act. It is our duty as citizens of this free country, to compel the Government to act. On my behalf, I am sending an email to the Hon. President, Prime Minister and the Cabinet Committee of Grievances. I request you also to do so. Kindly ask all your friends to do so. Today it is the families of the 25 sailors of MV Rezzak who have to suffer because of inaction on the part of the Government, tomorrow, it may be us.

Such an eyesore that SIZE ZERO

Size Zero is the in-thing today for today’s women. A size zero is an eye sore for most men. The sight of a hitherto well endowed wearing a bikini and her skull bones exposed was a nauseating sight for me. A shrunk-in top is such a deflating proposition for me. The only emotion such a female would evoke is compassion and not passion.

An average man can be attracted only to a healthy looking female Size zero females look pathetically sick. A healthy looking female does not mean a corridor filling hip. Most size zeros are achieved by artificial means and from the health point of view is fatal in the long run. There is a sea of difference between a slim female and a size zero. Some of us are born genetically slim, that’s ok, as long as we are healthy. Punishing our body and natural systems to attain a size zero seems to be far fetched. Then again, everybody is the queen of their own destiny.

The smiling beauties of Indian films

A good smile can make an heroine a super star for ages. To me and most Indians, Madhuri Dixit has the ultimate all round smile. Her smile looks very natural in all situations, be it as a teasing lover in HAHK or seductive wife in Beta. The magic of a Madhuri smile will continue to excite me even if she turns 60. Down south, only Simran has that all round smile.

There have been other heroines whose smile is bewitching in its own right. Urmilla innocent yet seductive smile in the song “Yeh Ram Kya huan” from Rangeela gave me (many men, I suppose) many a sleepless nights. So did Juhi Chawala in “Bol Radha Bol”

Kajol has a very girlish smile so does Sonali Bendre. Down south, Jothika has a very girlish and captivating smile. Rakishta beats all the heroines down south when it comes to a girlish smile.

The most voluptuous smile I have seen is that of the Malayalli film actress “Vani Vishwanath”. Those twinkling of eyes on that broad frame still sends current across my body. Of today’s heroines the same can be said of the southie Namitha and in bollywood, Lara Datta. In Kannada, Radhika has that type of voluptuous smile.

The most artificial smile award should go to Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bachan and Deepika Padukone. There is nothing in the eyes to make it look genuine.

A midnight call from my friend

It was late in the evening when I shut down my system and began to find my way to the lobby for the cab and reached home. The day as such was tough. In the morning, I had missed my office bus and had to travel by the public bus, which was suffocating to say the least. Over that, my boss, as usual, was demanding and courteous.

After reaching home, I grabbed a quick dinner and hit the TV remote. The channels had nothing to offer but the same breaking news, sobbing families, unfaithful spouses, dangling sensex, etc. I just decided to put myself and the TV to sleep mode.

Never realized when I went into a deep sleep mode until I was awoken by a ring tone. First I thought it was the backup music of a BPO vehicle, later realized that it was too close to me and right in my ear. I woke up and noticed that time was 12:05 am and there were 3 missed calls.

Before I could unlock the keypad, the phone rang again. It was from my friend, I was wondering, why would he call me up in the middle of the night and answered “Hi, how are you” He replied “Bala, there is something which only I want you do it for me, will you, please promise?’”. I was unaware of what was to come and said “C’mon yaar, aisa bhi kya? In most cases you know I will do what best I can”

He replied “Today is my birthday, I want you to be the first person to wish me” and burst out laughing. Leave alone wishes, I gave him back all the expletives I could recollect. He was just following the tradition we had of calling each other requesting for a birthday wish. It was just that he had pre-poned the timings by a cool six to seven hours. I did give him my heartiest wishes. It was nice to know that the fun and mischievousness in our friendship had not gone even after 2 decades of friendship. I lost my sleep for the night and was left wondering why I did not put my mobile on silent mode that night alone.

IPL's new lingua franca

IPL has created its own lingua franca. Here are some of them:-

Duration (n) - marginally longer than an Indian movie.

Spectators (n) - Not all have come to the stadium to see the match and most importantly everyone does not know cricket.

Viewers (n) - Advertisers spend crazy amounts to catch their eyeball attention for 10 seconds but they prefer to surf channels during ad break.

Pitch (n) - A rectangular piece made of soil but expected to be more flat than a table top.

Batsman (n) - A gladiator whose purpose of existence is to send the ball across or over the boundary as many times as possible.

Bowler (n) - A gladiator who is paid handsomely to get beaten like a henchman in Indian films.

Shot (v) – A verb whose ends justify the means. Simply read as long as you get a boundary does not matter if you executed a late cut over the middle stump.

Umpire (n) - An individual on field whose popularity goes up every time he lifts both the hands vertically upwards.

Score (n) – In India like sensex preferred only when it progresses in geometric progression.

Run rate (n) – A Jurassic age concept which should be replaced with runs per ball which again is respectable only if it is 1.5 runs per ball.

Economy rate (n) – Anything which is less than our inflation figures is preferable.

Boundary (n) – The batsman’s capability to frequently strike it, directly increases his endorsements.

Dot ball (n) – One of the few on-field perks for a bowler.

Maiden (adj) – An on-field event whose occurrence is as rare as a total solar eclipse.

Dull Moments (adv) – Time taken between overs

Average (n) – considered respectable if it is in double digits for batsmen and single digits for bowlers.



Team Loyalty (n): - The match itself is a blind date, so who cares.

Spirit of the game (adj/adv?) – displayed at the end of a game in form of a handshake sometimes through a slapface.

Cheerleaders (n) – what did the poor bar girls do differently to be banned?

Dugout (n) – A bus-stop type shelter where grown-ups wait anxiously like school children in front of an exam hall.

Commentators (n) – rehabilitated cricketers who are paid to dub as talented every guy who can with result swipe the bat/ hurl the ball powerfully.

Sponsors (n) – A set of guys who are desperate to ensure that their name appears on every cricketing gear. Wonders whose logo appears on the most important but least displayed cricket (no prizes for guessing it) . A steel or cement company would be an ideal choice with words “keeping family/ friends (either girl or boy) happy” or “protecting the future” or “ensuring continued home entertainment”.

Owners (n) – Individuals who have invested heavily but not allowed to grunt or grumble when their team performs badly.

Last, but not the least, Lalit Modi (Proper Noun) – Magician. C’mon guys, he should be the Prime Minister of this country. Definitely would come up with an idea how to market petroleum products so that we don’t have to pay every time the rate goes up.

What is charismatic leadership?

What is charismatic leadership? You just cannot stand up in a crowd, say that I am charismatic and become its leader. So, how does anybody become a charismatic leader?Looks, skin color, oratory skills, family lineage, style, etc are some of the words which come to mind Looks and skin color work but only to a limited extent. Family lineage would make you a charismatic leader amongst a worthless set of people. Oratory skills are essential for a charismatic leader. For it to instantaneously connect with thepeople their convictions should be emphasized, fears allayed, hopes fostered and most importantly play to the gallery. For all these to culminate in a powerfultalk, the leader should be well informed of his audience profile. Just imagine waxing eloquently on the growth in capital markets, infrastructure, etc amongst a group ofdrought hit peasants, you are liable to be stoned.

Style is a combination of voice, body language and dress. You cannot address an army going to war in a saint like voice. Your voice should be aggressive and wordsshould be screaming for the enemy blood. Body language reveals what the carefully planned words hide. It is impossible for a teacher to inspire his students, if he himself yawns during the class. There cannot be a better example on importance of dress than Gandhiji who could easily connect with the masses because of his dresssense. Why else do you think uniform is given utmost importance in organizations which want people to achieve a single goal? A contemporary example of the ultimatestyle package is Laloo Prasad Yadav. He has all the style in the world that is required to mesmerize his target audience.

For a leader’s charisma to sustain over a long period of time, he should be well organized, know the pulse of his audience and most importantly deliver on his promises.

Will the IPL connect emotionally and financially?

The IPL organizers and bidders seem to have understood that watching and appreciating a cricket match is an habit or an obsessive compulsory disorder for the Indian public, whereas it is actually an option. Otherwise, why else would such mindless money be invested in IPL.
Attachment to the teams cause is what attracts the eyeballs of a viewer to a sporting encounter and not the fact that his favorite sporting star bank balance is going to add a few zeros. In a game like cricket, if you have to be attached to a team, you have to connect with all the eleven players and this happens only when they are representing your country. Nobody is going to feel disappointed if an X city loses a match nor there is going to be a great attachment to all the 11 players representing your city. I come from Bangalore but I would like to see Ishanth Sharma knocking the day lights out of Kalis rather than the otherway around. English Press is not going to take a team to the cleaners if they lose a match because viewers in the winning city are going to be terribly disappointed.
The most important assumption of the IPL business model is the love of Indian Public for Cricket. This love is very limited and specific to the matches being played by India alone. Our public cannot take a defeat lightly and come to the streets burning effigies and attacking players homes when the team loses important matches. Will the lose by a city team result in venting of such ires? Our love for cricket is more because of a certain TINA (There is No Alternative) Factor rather than genuine love for the game. These are the reasons why Cricket has become such a passion in India. How many of our self professed cricket fans know who was the Man of the Match/ Series in this years Ranji Trophy? How many know who is Sangwan and which grade of cricket he plays for India? Not more than an handful.
Will the players have the same competitive edge that they posses when they represent their country. Failure in IPL would not cost them a place in their national teams nor is it going to affect their records in any way. Some of the players are going to get three times of the amount that they will get by representing their country for a whole year. Even a year or two of playing for IPL is sufficient to take care of them post-retirement. They are not going to stretch themselves while playing for IPL. Nobody would like to get injured playing IPL and risk the chance of playing for their country. Thus, the contention that IPL would improve domestic cricket is as true as a lamppost being a rain shelter. Moreover, will two cricketers from the same country representing opposite city teams sledge each other. There is no emotions that are going to be involved in these matches. In that aspect the ICL players are better placed because once they join this league their international career is effectively over and they have to perform well in the ICL for their earnings to continue.
I am in no mood to waste 40 plus evenings of mine watching two city teams sweat it out for the profit of a franchisee. How na?ve the cricket administrators can be? Was it not a few years back the super series involving Australia V Rest of the World, a damp squib, though performance in these matches added to the records of the individual players.

Three poems for Valentine Day

Billion of stars may be waiting to twinkle in the radiance of your eyes!
Millions of words may want to intensify their meaning by describing yourpersona!
Lakhs of Ornaments may be wanting to enhance their charm by decoratingyour beauty!
Hundreds of eyes might want to bless their sights by feasting on your beauty!But only one Heart will beat for your well being always, that’s mine!Take Care, Until We Meet Again!
*******************************
UR Missed AlwaysUr missed always, in all seasons and for all reasons!
In the harsh summer, the pleasantness of Your face and twirl of thosehairs, made my days cool!
In those dark monsoon days, the twinkle in Your eyes, brightened my days!
In those chilly wintry days, the liveliness of Your touch, kept me warm!
During those spells of anger, Your courage made me see reason!
In the depth of sorrow, Your soothing words and solace helped me stayafloat!In the spring of happiness, your radiance and vivacious smile made theoccasion extra special!
Ur missed always, in all seasons and for all reasons!******************************************************************
Why do I love you?

More than the beautiful face, it is the refreshing simile that it gives!
More than the twinkling eyes, it is the far-reaching vision that they are able to have!
More than the sweet voice, it is the sweet and heartfelt words that come out!More than your beauty, it is the compassionate heart in it!

A satire on the various classes of the Indian Society

Nothing serious just a poke at the various classes of the Indian Society including me


Poor
Bank Balance:- Get us a bank account first.
Frequent Question:- Will the roof above us hold tonight?
Funda of life:- No Money, No Worry
Likes/ Dislikes - Cant have any if they want to move up


Middle Class/ Upper Middle Class
Bank Balance - In the black till all the EMI Cheques come.
Frequent Questions - Too many. Where is the best discount sale? Why does it take so long to open a demat account?
Likes/Dislikes - again too many
Likes - Family Values & Riches (V contrasting na)
Dislikes - Immorality, Cheating and Poverty (again v contrasting)
No wonder they get stuck for their life trying to manage the contrasts


Rich Class
Bank Balance - Very limited. More in black, gold and land.
Frequent Question - Which is the next best Real Estate bet?
Funda of Life - Accumulate as much as you can, God knows for whom.
Likes- Dislike
Likes - Increase in grams of gold ownership and property papers
Dislikes - New Schemes of Government to unearth black money.

Ultra Rich
Bank Balance - Kisko patha? It never ends.
Frequent Question - Where's the party tonight?
Funda of life :- Have many cars, designer clothes and affairs
Likes-Dislike - You cant have any if you have to reach and stay here.

Why my parents were happier than me?
My parents ethical values seem to me as obstacles for progress!
My parents worked for money but I live for money!
My parents celebrated to enjoy but I celebrate to show off!
My parents luxuries have become my needs!
My parents sweated to save money but I sweat to save my health!
My parents loaned in an emergency but I loan to create an unreal lifestyle!
My parents had a small home but I have a small heart!
My parents dreaded lies but I treasure them!
My parents lived by the times but I try to race against it!
My parents had friendships based on emotions but I have them as useful connections!
My parents achieved status through good deeds but I try to achieve it by increased needs!

No wonder my parents were happier and stronger than me

Why is the Indian Cricket Fan angry?

Indian team has made its most ignominious exit from World Cup since 1992,the average Indian Fan is angry. The experts of the game as well as the incapable team members are taking shelter in the guise that this after all a game. The average Indian Cricket Fan is being ridiculed for taking things to heart and that they don't understand cricket. This is nothing but the typical story of trying to cut off the branch of the tree on which you are seated. The media is also being questioned for making a national issue out of the defeat.
I am ready to buy the arguments provided somebody is willing to give answers for the following questions:-
a. Would our cricket stars have made so much money from endorsements but for the emotional Indian Cricket Fan on the street. Dear Cricketers, it is his blind faith that made the sponsors dole out such huge cheque to you. There are sports which involve a lot more sweating on the field than cricket, those players don't earn such astronomic sums.
b. Who gives exclusive interviews to the media? Who makes unrealistic promises to college students on hour long programmes? As long as the Media was giving positive coverage to the non-existent cricketing talents, walks on the ramps, the cricketers and the experts had no problem, they were all game for it. It is just when the media started questioning the obvious shortcomings of the cricketers, everybody is finding fault with the media?
c. A senior BCCI functionary today has ridiculed the media for making too much of India's chances of winning the world cup. India is going to play hardly 40 or 50 days of cricket every year at home for the next 4 years. Indian Cricket Board has sold its domestic cricket telecast rights for the highest price in the world (comparing other cricket boards). Why did the BCCI which was not sure of its cricket team winning the world cup sell its telecast rights at such astronomical rights?
d. Why does it cost so much to watch an international cricket match? After all most of the stadiums are built on land given by Government at throw away prices. What facilities does the cricket fan who sits in the gallery stands of a stadium get, not even a roof to brave the sun and he is required to shell out nearly a thousand rupees to watch a match.
e. What is the need to have Ranji Trophy Cricket, if the highest scorer and wicket taker in it don't find a place in the playing eleven. Joginder Sharma has been performing consistently with bat and ball for the past 3 years and all that he got was a single match in South Africa. A single failure is sufficient for Joginder to be banished to the annals of cricket whereas years of failure is not sufficient for Shewag to be dropped.
f. Anybody would get irritated to see the Ad "Ab har ghar mein Sachin" being repeated ad nauseam on TV even after the exit of India from WC2007. Why does not Mr. Sachin return the amount to the company and ask them to stop telecasting the Ad.
g. When a team loses as badly as India has done, most of the senior cricketers announce their retirements? Why have none of our senior cricketers have had the gumption to admit that they have failed and just quit from the team? Why do they want to hang on to the positions in the team?
h. They are not representing BCCI but wearing on India on their shirts and caps. When India loses, her citizens are bound to go wild. Let them wear the logo BCCI XI or ***** Cola XI and play from tomorrow onwards not even a mongrel would for care their defeat or victory.
i. There is no major country in the world which does not have passion about one sport. Defeat or Victory in that sport swings the mood of the nation. In India it is cricket. People are bound to react violently when you lose without a semblance of a fight. Just turn back the pages to last year, see how England reacted to its football team loss in the Soccer World Cup.
Dear Cricketers and Experts, when you can bask in the glory of our adulation for your insignificant achievements, better learn to accept our ire when you fail meekly or else find a different profession. If you are a mechanic, watchman, barber, painter, chartered accountant or any profession you choose and you fail, we wont come in the streets and protest. You are wearing Indian Colors and the hype in the country is such that you are valued next only to our brave Jawans who guard our frontiers. It is this hype which has brought you the riches. So next time don't tell we don't understand the game. Maybe yes, we don't understand the game or else why would we have showered so much of our attention on paper tigers like you.
I only hope fans do see the truth and stop idolizing these non-performing heroes. Let their victories and defeats not affect your daily schedules. Watch a cricket match but only when there is nothing worthwhile to watch on the TV.