Merry Xmas in Pacific Mall, Dehradun

GFY IS JUST NOT AN ABUSE

GFY means Go F*** Yourself

Is it just an abuse? It is mainly an abuse. An abuse like Biryani can have different variants.

You are trying to dissuade a friend from proposing to a girl/boy who you know is going to make your friend an emotional wreck but his/her basic instincts have taken over, at the time just to de-clog the mind of the individual you would say

   `GFY a few times, if you still feel the urge, go ahead and propose"
    Here you are suggesting a physical action as a tool of self-realisation.

You are fed up of a friend/colleague's nagging and just want to let go the steam, and you end up saying
   `GFY, Don't bother me'
Here  you  are venting out your frustration, and rather vociferously making known to the other individual that you are not taking any more crap from him/her

In a liberal office atmosphere, you can use it after giving your subordinate/boss a piece of your mind
However, it is better avoided with a member of the fairer sex because either it can be used against you in a sexual harassment case or worse even in a defamation case (If you don't get this, please stop reading the blog here itself because you deserve to be watching Doremon)

Politicians being the sanskaris they don't directly say but their actions after elections say it very loudly, and after all, action speaks louder than words.
Stalkers should take this seriously because it will help them. I mean if you have such an urge about someone, it is better to subsidise the symptom through self-help methods. It is based on the adage `It is better to be safe than sorry", and in this case, it becomes `It is better to GFY rather than do that with someone's else life"

Every time we are sold a dummy, the seller says it to us but it is just that we realise it later.

  And finally, fate's calling card contains this as a tagline.

Well, if you have read till this point, you would have realised that this blog is utter crap, and you would either want to say it to me or want to say to yourself (more likely the latter), GFY.

CoCo Is Not Just A Movie, It Is An Emotion

                

                The movie begins with a lengthy anime of Olaf’s Frozen. It is as irritating as going to a restaurant to have a good mutton biryani and finding that its management insists that you first have curd rice as a compliment.

                There is this Imelda Riveria married to a musician, who one day decides to walk out to pursue his dreams never to return. The family bans music from its family routine, and instead concentrates making shoes. Quite a logical thought given that more people want to wear footwear and later listen to music.

                Generation after generation complies with this diktat, until Miguel appears on the scene. He wants to follow the footsteps of his great- great grandfather. Who is his great grandfather is the story.

                Much before that he damages the photo of Imelda, gets caught by his grandmother for possessing a guitar, who instantly breaks it and he cannot enter a music contest since he does not have a guitar. On the day of the dead, hoping to find a guitar, he enters the grave of Ernesto de la Cruz whom he thinks is his great-great grandfather. Inadvertently, he enters the land of dead. He meets his ancestors there who are pleased with his entry. The catch is he has to re-enter the land of living before sunrise or else he would become a part of the land of dead. To re-enter, he must receive a blessing from his family that can undo the curse placed upon him by stealing Ernesto's guitar. Imelda offers Miguel a blessing on the condition that he abandon his musical pursuits, and unwilling to accept Imelda's conditions, Miguel enters deep into the land of dead seeking Ernesto's blessing instead.

                Into his life enters Hector, a failed musician’s skeleton who used to perform with Ernesto. Hector offers to help Miguel on the condition that when Miguel re-enters the land of living, he will carry his photograph. His photograph being placed on the `Day of Dead’ will help him to get visa clearance to enter the land of living on the day of dead, and possibly see his daughter. There is also this condition that if everyone in the land of living permanently forget you, you will be dead even from the land of dead.

                While Miguel is trying to find Ernesto, his dead family is in his hot pursuit. Ernesto proves to be a crook (his looks gave it away) who murdered his great- great grandfather Hector. How Miguel gets the blessings of his dead family to bless him unconditionally, how the mask is ripped of Ernesto’s face, how Miguel gets his great grandmother Coco to remember her father Hector, and how the honour of Hector is restored, forms remaining part of this wonderfully narrated animation movie. The family at the end removes its ban on Music.

                The movie is full of lighter moments but at the end I had moist eyes (so did most of the audience) due to the overwhelming emotions. This movie is a must watch.

A Few Gems From `Ice In The Bedroom' By PG Wodehouse

                Ben Schott once remarked `To dive into a Wodehouse novel is to swim in some of the most elegantly turned phrases in the English language’. Anybody who has read a PG Wodehouse masterpiece will agree to this even his/her mother-in-law says it.

                One of the masterpieces of PG Wodehouse is `Ice In The Bedroom’. This book published in 1961 has the usual inter-wined sub-plots so common in PG Wodehouse novels. A love story with a heist in its background or vice-versa or whatever it is, I  read a PG Wodehouse novel for the joy it. Presented in the subsequent paragraphs are a few gems from this masterpiece.

                Have you ever read a funnier rendition on two broken hearts or rib-tickling description of an act of betrayal?

                There had been a time, and not so long ago, when he and Sally had been closer than the paper on the wall – everything as smooth as dammit, each thinking the other the biggest thing since sliced bread and not a cloud on the horizon. And then, just because she found him kissing that dumb brick of a Bunting girl at that cocktail party – the merest civil gesture, as he had tried to explain, due entirely to the fact that he had run out of conversation and felt that he had to do something to keep things going – she had blown a gasket and forbidden the banns.

                Why the lawyers of that day didn’t ask for a ban on this book or deletion of this portion after reading it or were they too busy to read this book?

                In the inner lair where he lurked during business hours, Mr Shoesmith was talking to his daughter, Mrs Myrtle Prosser, who had looked in for a chat as she did sometimes – too often, in Mr Shoesmith’s opinion, for he disliked having to give up his valuable time to someone to whom he could not send in a bill.

                How many of your bosses have or had to say this about you?

                `I didn’t know he worked here’

                `It is a point on which I am somewhat doubtful myself’ said Mr Shoesmith `Much depends on what interpretation you place on the word `work’. To oblige his uncle Lord Blicester, whose affairs have been in my hands for many years. I took him into my employment and he arrives in the morning and leaves in the evening, but apart from a rudimentary skill in watching the clock, probably instinctive, I would describe him as essentially a lily of the field, Ah, Mr Widegon’.

                Mr PG Wodehouse, thank heavens that you were not in India writing this line about any fictional legend.

                She did not resemble her father, who looked like a cassowary, but suggested rather one of those engravings of the mistress of Bourbon kings which make on feel that monarchs who selected them must have been men of iron, impervious to fear, or else short-sighted. She always scared Freddie to the marrow. With most of the other sex he was on easy terms – too easy was the view of his late fiancée – but the moon of Oofy Prosser’s delight never failed to give him an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of the stomach and the illusion that his hands and feet had swelled unpleasantly.

You surely don’t want to hear this from your boss

`You see, when you fail to appear, we become nervous and jumpy. Some accident must have occurred, we whisper to each other, and these gruesome speculations, so bad for office morale, continue until some clear thinker like Mr Jervis points out that it would be a far greater accident if you were ever on time’

The lawyers of that day were truly gracious

Johnny doesn’t even embezzle his client’s money, which I should have thought was about the only fun a solicitor can get out of life.

This is epic

                The problem of how to attract his attention had presented itself. `Hi’ seemed lacking in dignity. `Hoy’ had the same defect. And `Freddie’ was much too friendly. What she would really have liked, of course, would have been to throw a brick at him, but the grounds of Castlewood, though park-like, were unfortunately lacking in bricks

Men admit you have felt the same

There is something about the monosyllable `Oh?’, when uttered in a cold, level voice by the girl he loves, that makes the most intrepid man uneasy. Freddie had been gifted by Nature with much of the gall of an Army mule, but even he lost a little of his animation.

Women you cannot be this unfair.

Nothing is more irritating to a woman of impatient habit, wanting to get the news headlines quick, than to try to obtain them from a man who seems intent on speaking in riddles, and a less affectionate wife than Dolly might well at this point have endeavoured to accelerate her husband by striking him with cocktail shaker. It is to her credit that she confined herself to words.

It is rather difficult if you come across a female like this

When you’re up against a dame with glittering eyes and one finger on the trigger of a shot-gun, that’s an ordeal, and don’t tell any tell you different

We all have this Senior or Colleague

To set the seal on his happiness, someone at the office, just before he left, had dropped a heavy ledger on the foot of Mr Jervis, the managing clerk, causing him a good deal of pain, for he suffered from corns. In the six months during which he had served under the Shoesmith banner Freddie had come to dislike Mr Jervis with an intensity quite foreign to his normally genial nature, and he held very strongly that the more ledgers that were dropped on him, the better. His only regret was that it had not been a ton of bricks.

Yes, We just don’t want to meet some people again for various reasons some clandestine also

It is inevitable, as we pass through life, that we meet individuals whom we are reluctant to meet again. Sometimes it is the way they clear their throats that offends us, sometimes the noise they make when drinking soup or possibly remind us of relatives whom we wish to forget. It was for none of these fanciful reasons that Dolly preferred not to encounter Mrytlle Prosser.

This Dolly is the type of wife every man wants

She loved him dearly and yielded to no one in her respect for his ability to sell worthless oil stock to the least promising of prospects, but, except for this one great gift of his, she had no illusions about his intelligence. She knew that she had taken for better or worse one who was practically solid concrete from the neck up, and she liked it. It was her view that brains only unsettle a husband, an she was comfortably conscious of herself possessing enough for the two of them.

We all have more of the second type of lunches with colleagues whom we don’t like

There are lunches which are rollicking from start to finish, with gay shafts of wit flickering to and fro like lightning flashes, and others where the going is on the sticky side, and a sense of oppression seems to weigh the revelers down like a London fog. The one presided over by Lord Blicester at the restaurant of Barribault’s Hotel fell into the second class.

Those relatives, they are always fair weather friends.

The difference between the way an uncle looks at a nephew who has lost his job and whom there is a danger of him having to support, and a nephew who has large holdings a fabulously rich oil company is always subtle but well marked.

These lovers, they just don’t move on

He turned away, with sinking heart. He knew what happened when young men and girls stood in earnest conversation on any given spot. They stayed fixed to it for hours.

This is how to deal with women, men should learn

A man experienced in dealing with the female sex knows that the policy to pursue, when a woman issues an order, is not to stand arguing but to acquiesce and then go off and disobey it.

Who Can Say All Is Well?

The people who believe:-

1. A fairness cream can improve their personality.
2. A cool drink can make you bold.
3. A deodorant can make females swoon over a guy.
4. A health drink can increase the growth of your children.
5. A suiting can make you a better man.
6. A soap can make you look young.
7. A bigger car can make a happier family
8. A flavoured condom can make you a better lover.
9. A cooking oil can make you healthier

are the ones who are oblivious of the bitter truth around them, and pretend "All is Well".

The Laws Of The Mutton Biryani Cult

                Everybody has their own cult, why not biryani lovers to be more precise Mutton Biryani lovers? It’s time Mutton Biryani lovers of the world had their own cult. A true `Mutton Biryani’ lover can never commit a crime. `Mutton Biryani’ can be consumed at very economical rates, so you don’t need to commit a crime. After having a `Mutton Biryani’ all your temptations are satisfied, so you cannot commit a crime. `Mutton Biryani’ is the ultimate pleasure, so you need  not commit a crime for pleasure.

Every cult should have its own rules. By the power of the 1000s of Mutton Biryanis I have relised and assimilated in my system, I hereby declare the rules for the Mutton Biryani Cult (M-BC).

ü  Thou shall always mention the words `Mutton Biryani’ with a divine awe.

ü  Thou shall never have a `Mutton Biryani’ in hurry. This also disqualifies you from entering any `Mutton Biryani’ eating challenges because such challenges involve gobbling food, and `Mutton Biryani’ has to be relished and imbibed in every vein of your body.

ü  Thou shall always say `Blood may or not be thicker than water but Mutton Biryani is the only Biryani that does matter’.

ü  Thou shall have `Mutton Biryani’ only with hands. You don’t require external aids to relish your passion.

ü  Thou shall not mind table manners while having a `Mutton Biryani’. You shall tear apart the `Mutton’, chew the bones, making slurping sounds if it is tasty, and lick your fingers if needed.

ü  Thou shall travel across the length and breadth of the country to have authentic `Mutton Biryani’. There is no point in having Dindugul Mutton Biryani sitting in Kolkatta or the vice versa. If there comes a variety of `Lower Congo Mutton Biryani’, thou shall travel there to taste it.

ü  Thou shall on reaching a new place, first seek not shelter but information where the best `Mutton Biryani’ is available.

ü  Thou shall relish `Mutton Biryani’ in its purest form without any Ullu err. Allo added to it, nor dilute its taste by having it with Raitha. If you are foolish enough to believe  that a `Mutton Biryani’ can be made tastier by having it with salan, you’ll be excommunicated from the cult.

ü  Thou shall use `Mutton Biryani’ as a noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, simile, metaphor, and if possible as a preposition, conjunction and interjection.

ü  Between `Mutton Biryani’ and all other earthly pleasures, thou shall swear by `Mutton Biryani’

                Share this blog, if you want to join this cult.

A Few Rules Of Mutton Biryani Cult

Blood is thicker than water and Mutton Biryani is the only biryani

Aloo in Mutton Biryani is like mother in law staying with you.

Vegetable Biryani is the food equivalent of Money in a Monopoly game.

DISSENTING DIAGNOSIS BY DR ARUN GADRE AND DR ABHAY SHUKLA - A BOOK RECOMMENDATION

Dissenting Diagnosis by Dr Arun Gadre and Dr Abhay Shukla

This blog is more of a book recommendation than a book review

This book is an eye opener on the frauds that go in the healthcare industry. We cannot avoid going to a hospital but such books help us to be aware of the pitfalls in the treatment we are getting. We cannot avoid all of them.

The book is priced at a nominal Rs.399/-. It is written in simple language avoiding medical jargon to the extent possible. The book is divided into 12 logically arranged chapters each discussing the ails of the medical sector in India.

Note about the authors.

Both the authors are qualified and are not just talking through their hats.

Dr Arun Gadre is a gynaecologist.

Dr Abhay Shukla is a public health physician, with a post-graduate degree in community medicine from the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi.

Chapter 1 contains an interview with Dr Vijay Ajgaonkar, Senior Diabetologist, Mumbai – The contents of this chapter should send chill through the nerves of all `Diabetes patients’

Chapter 2 – Malpractices in Private Hospitals lists the following

1.            Malpractice during diagnosis

2.            Unnecessary Investigations.

3.            Unnecessary Procedures/Operations/ Surgeries.

4.            Commissions/ Cut Practice

5.            Lack of Regulation

6.            Inflated Bills.

7.            Making money through medicines inappropriately

Chapter 3 – The Toxic Influence of Pharmaceutical Companies.

This is spread through inducements to doctors (Doctors are taken on foreign trips by pharmaceutical companies);  Aggressive, Predatory Marketing (Doxycycline an established antibiotic that costs Rs.1 is no longer produced, instead they add a useless component like lactobacillus and sell it for Rs.5).

Chapter 4 – Health Care becomes an Industry: The Growing Influence of Corporate and Multi-specialty Hospitals

                The portion on `Commercial Demands and Target-Related Pressures on Doctors’ is well known to most of us but what is related in this space makes you cringe on the crass commercialization of the most noble profession.

Chapter 5 – Social Attitudes and Policy Content

                Patients armed with internet knowledge on symptoms, medi-claim policy which makes a patient yearn for a five star hospital treatment. The chapter also discusses about The Harmful Influence of Private Medical College.

Chapter 6 discusses Some Solutions suggested by Doctors to stem the rot in the medical field

Chapter 7 Physicians, Heal Thy System!

Chapter 8 What Rights Do I Have as a Patient In A Private Hospital?

A total of 9 each equally important rights have been discussed but the least exercised one according to me is the Right to Seek Second Opinion. Not even one Indian doctor discusses about this with the patient. In most cases, they bring about a fait accompli for the patient’s dependants.

Chapter 9 How Can I Recognise a Rational, Ethical Doctor?

You should buy and read this book just for this chapter

Chapter 10 How Should The Private Medical Sector Be Regulated?

I wish someone in the Government looks into it. Hospitals have become like star hotels each has his own rate card for treatment

Chapter 11 Moving Towards A System For Universal Health Care

Chapter 12 Joining Hands For Healing The Health Sector.

Democracy's XI - The Great Indian Cricket Story by Rajdeep Sardesau

 Rajdeep Sardesai by including his father in Democracy's XI has shown the fearlessness most of us lack most of the times. That Dilip Sardesai was an Indian Cricketing great is beyond doubt of any Indian Cricket aficionado; hence, Rajdeep has only done justice to Indian cricket by including his name.
 The author could have avoided frequent mention of players during 50s and 60s being deducted Rs.50 from their daily allowances if they won the match in 4 days. Rajdeep could have skipped including Mohammed Azharudin in his book. The fact that he was acquitted in the 2000 match-fixing case on technical reasons is sufficient. A better choice would have been Anil Kumble who represents all that cricket means.
 There is no discussion regarding the exclusion of Vishwanath from the Indian Cricket Team. Similarly, the equation between Gavaskar and Mohinder Amarnath is not discussed. A few tidbits on why Kapil Dev's career came to an abrupt end in 1994 would have enhanced the quality of the book. Kambli – Sachin relationship has been well discussed. Did Sourav-Dravid relationship sour during 2006, the book prefers to be diplomatic in this aspect. The role of Dhoni in the CSK fiasco has been swept under the carpet.

 The book contains an interesting insight into Indian Cricketing history without ruffling feathers. That perhaps reflects the gentleman that Rajdeep Sardesai is. A must read for any Indian Cricket fan.
 I was lucky, got an autograph from Rajdeep Sardesai along with a photograph

Mathematics Teachers Should Understand

Mathematics teachers should understand the following basic facts

If X doesn't want to be found, respect it's privacy until it has violated the laws of the land. Don't teach children to stalk by repeatedly asking them to find X

Don't teach children to borrow at an young age itself

Steps are not always, everyone has a shortcut on their desktops

Nobody builds a wall with 10 people and later build one more to find out how many days it will take.

A person who tries to fill  a water tank at one end and keeps emptying it at the other has a psychological problem. His madness should not be posed as a problem to students
.
There are easier ways to find the diameter of a circle than through complicated formulaes

Hindi Medium Passes With Distinction - Movie Review

`Hindi Medium’, if it happens for real must be the most amusing roller coaster ride for any family. It is unimaginable to think of a family moving from Old Delhi to Vasanth Vihar to a slum in Delhi, back to Vasant Vihar and finally back to reality.

Before we proceed further, `Hindi Medium’ is remake of a Malayalam film, and the heroine Mita is played by a Pakistani actress. I have no problem with either, especially Saba Qamar who looks a million bucks and a actress par excellence.

HM is a harsh story told well enough to not offend the sentiments of the upper middle class, that is so eager to see their children educated in any Tom, Dick (oh that word might offend someone), school which prefixes it name with Convent or International School. I know of a school in Bengaluru East which does not have enough space to even assemble all its students in the corridor but calls itself as an International School. Wonder what the education authorities are doing about it?

               

Parents have always an inferiority complex about their own backgrounds especially the schools they studied in, in this case Mita. Mita breaks into a hysteric dialogue everytime she has to explain what will happen if Pia does not get into an English Upmarket School. Her over protectiveness of Pia is comical to say the least.  Propelled by his wife, Raj (Irfan Khan) does everything to get his daughter Pia into an English School. They even move to the upmarket and snobby Vasant Vihar. Neha Dhupia in her role defines Vasant Vihar.

                The parents even engage a consultant played by Tillotama Shome . She says when she was introduced to the character; it was described as a "bit of a bitch". Tillotama Shome has portrayed her role more than a bit. Hers is one character which will remain in your mind long after you’ve forgotten many scenes of the movie, but remember its storyline. Image consultants have made criminals look like saviours in the recent past, but that is possible only when the conversation is one sided. However, in a school interview, it is two sided, and the couple of Irfan & Saba (Raj & Mita) get exposed, and Pia does not get the admission.

                This failure in the interview compels the couple to take a vacation in Europe at Bharat Nagar slums. Indian parents are always ready to sacrifice for their children’s education, they don’t mind faking as poor to get seats under RTE, and if required, to avoid being detected, ready to stay in a slum as well. Staying in a slum has its own perils but they are able to counter thanks to their friendly neighbours Shyam Prasad & his wife Tulsi. Both Irfan and Saba prove their acting credentials in the slum. First, they land up the seat and later lose it. Amrita Singh portrays the role of  principal of English Grammar School with a finesse that hides her villainy till the last scene.

                One scene which transcends the limits of creative freedom is when a SUV knocks down Shyam Prasad, stops and when threatened with police complaint, hands over 20k to Raj. Nobody is going to buy that scene.

                Thanks to a scam bust, Pia loses her seat. In a lucky draw, she gets it back, and as again expected, the Raj couple decide to surrender it. It is only then the villainy of Amrita Singh is revealed. Raj breaks into the school auditorium and makes an emotional speech on education in India, and accepting his guilt. Realism in the film is not lost, when the upper middle class present in the auditorium does not react to his emotional outburst, least their wards future is affected.

                Overall the film is a refreshing fare compared to BKD and such stuff. The entire starcast has done immense justice to their roles. I would give it a 4 star. It is a week since I saw the movie but tell you what Saba Qamar is a WMD, Woman Made Divinely

               

A Few Quotes From `Full Moon' by PG Wodehouse

The Master could have very well named this book as `Full Fun’. This must be one of the funniest works of PG Wodehouse, very difficult to pick the few good ones. I’m re-reading this book. This blog is written for Indiblogger’s Indispire edition number 171 on Favourite Authors

Unlike the rest of the female members of her family, who were tall and stately, Lady Herimone Wedge was short and dumpy and looked like a cook – in her softer moods, a cook well satisfied with her latest soufflé; when stirred to anger, a cook about to give notice; but always a cook of strong character. Neverthless for the eye of love is not affected by externals, it was with courtly devotion that her husband, avoiding the face cream, bent and kissed the top of her boudoir cap. They were a happy and united couple.

Colonel Wedge was exhibiting that slight sheepishness which comes to married men when the names of those whom they themselves esteem highly but of whom they are aware that their wives disapprove crop up in the course of conversation.

Fredie straightened his tie

`The boys generally seem to wish to hear my views’ he admitted modestly

`And I’ll bet they get their wish if you’re within a mile of th

The face that gazed from the picture was not that of a strictly handsome man. It was, indeed, that of one who would have had to receive a considerable number of bisques to make it worth his while to enter even the most minor of beauty contests. The nose was broad, the ears prominent, the chin prognathous. This might, in fact, have been the photograph of a kindly gorilla. Kindly, because even in this amateur snapshot one could discern the pleasant honest and geniality of the eyes.

                The body this face surmounted was very large and obviously a man of the finest muscle. The whole, in short, was what a female novelist of the Victorian era would have called a `magnificent ugly man’, and Freddie’s first feeling was a mild wonder that such a person should every have consented to have his photograph taken.

Ever since the tempestuous entry into his life of Prudence Garland, he had been feeling almost without interruption rather as one might imagine a leaf to feel when caught up and whirled about in an autumn gale. Bill’s was essentially a simple, orderly mind. Nature had intended him to be one of those men to whom love, when it comes, comes gently and gradually, progressing in easy stages from the first meeting in rigidly conventional circumstances to the decorous wedding with the ushers showing friends and relatives into the ringside pews. If ever there was a man born to be the morning-coated central figure in a wedding group photograph, it was William Galahad Lister.

The thoughtful soul who built the bar at Barribault’s Hotel constructed the upper half of its door of glass, so that young me about town, coming to slake their thirst, should be able to take a preliminary peeop into its interior and assure themselves that it contained none of their creditors.

Too often, in English country houses, dinner is apt to prove a dull and uninspiring meal. If the ruling classes of the Island kingdom have a fault, it is that they are inclined when at table to sit chomping their food in a glassy eyed silence, doing nothing to promote a feast of reason and a flow of soul. But to-night in the smaller of Blandings Castle’s two dining rooms, a very different not was stuck. One would not be going too far in describing the atmosphere at the board as one of rollicking gaiety.

It's The Taj