My wardrobe malfunction

Right from 1st standard, I was always awe-stuck with my brother making speeches on Independence Day and other competitions in schools. So when I got promoted to sixth standard (the cut-off for a student to be allowed in these competitions), I readily gave my name when it was called for. The first assignment was to speak on Independence Day about Lal Bahadur Sastriji. With active assistance of my father and the Panasonic two-in-one we had at our home, I practiced the speech over and again. Three days before the event, Dcuna Madam who was in charge of the culturals decided that all the participants will wear a dhoti and make the speech. I never took it seriously and continued with preparing for my speech. My father had taught me how to keep the head at 90 degrees and talk. How to bow to the Judges, the principal, etc and how to maintain eye contact with the audience

The D-day came and all the “freedom fighters” were made to wear dhoti and come to the stage. First it was “Gandhiji”, next “Panditji” followed by “Patelji” and then came my turn “Sastriji”. I stood up to see nearly 900 students in front of me. I immediately realized that public speaking was more than reproducing a prepared speech. All the lessons of my father on the etiquettes of public speaking vaporized from my mind. I was shivering, mumbling the speech when the audience burst out laughing. A wardrobe malfunction had occurred and my dhothi lay on the floor. Obviously, the tension within my body had resulted in this scandalous wardrobe malfunction. Thankfully, I had worn inside the customary half-white pant for Saturday class and any further embarrassment was prevented. I could see my brother feeling for me but I did not want to give up speaking. Despite all the jeers, I continued speaking. To my surprise fear had evaporated and I was able to speak freely. Though I did not win any prize, I did get a special mention from the principal for courageously standing on to speak despite the mishap.

Thankfully, there was no moral police around those days or else a campaign would have lodged against me for intentional wardrobe malfunction, that too in a boy’s school.

Accepting failure is the sign of your inability

Hardly there would be anybody, who has not said “This does not work me”, “No matter how hard I try I cannot succeed”, “What is the use of working hard, I don’t get recognised at my work place?” etc. More often than not it is the excuse of the lazy and the feeble minded. The last named excuse is very commonly used in Government offices by employees who want to get paid without work. Government service is the only place where it is impossible to terminate the services of an employee because he/she is not working.

Sunil Gavaskar says frequently on air “If your knocks (read performances) at the selection committee’s door does not open it, keep knocking (performing) until the knock becomes a thud and the door is broken down”. I will stick to examples of sportsmen to drive home this point better because victory in sports requires a perfect co-ordination of mind, heart and body. A sport exposes everybody no matter how great you are because on the given day even Bradman got out for a blob.

If you get success easily, you will never know how to value and preserve it. This can be explained with the example of sportsmen like L Sivaramakrishnan, Sadanand Vishwanath and Vinod Kambli. All of them were immensely talented, found success at a very early age but could not sustain it possibly because they have never had to strive very hard for it. Mathew Hayden and Damien Martyn were discarded from the Australian team for years but came back into it after years of perseverance and performance. The same is the case with our “Bengal Tiger” Saurav Ganguly. There can’t be a better example of fighting back from the brink than Lance Armstrong, the former Tour De France Cycling Champion. He was given 25% or less chances of surviving a losing battle from Cancer but came from death bed to win six consecutive Tour de France titles. If you feel your health, mental state is the reason for you not to achieve success, please read his autobiography “It is not about the Bike”.

Failure to get success despite one’s best efforts is the true test of an individual’s mettle. If you still have the heart for a fight, you will reach the next level and possibly stay at the top for a long time. I admire Navjoth Singh Sidhu and Rahul Dravid for this attribute. Both were dubbed as strokeless wonders and deemed not fit for one day cricket. We all know how they answered their critics. Mohinder Amarnath never got his due from Indian Cricket but his struggle and efforts to make n+1 number of comebacks could put to shame the fable of King Bruce and the spider. The true test for Sania Mirza has come now given that her ranking has dropped from mid 20’s to 100 plus. I like Dhoni a lot but I want to see if he can maintain his cool and smile even when he goes through a sustained lean patch.

Thus the takeaways for anybody dissatisfied with their progress are:-
Success never comes easily and should never come so. Only those who have achieved success after intense struggle value it.
Those who give up because of failures remain mediocre for the rest of their lives.
Giving up because success did not come your way only exposes your inept laziness, lack of innovativeness and not necessarily lack of opportunities or futility of the task.

How well the email ids of BBMP work?

Bangalore is the silicon city of India atleast in terms of the revenue it generates from software exports. In such a city, the authority responsible for maintaining the city infrastructure has to have functional email ids and its officers should regularly access to find out if there are any complaints from the citizens. This is important because in today’s busy world, very few can give a complaint physically.

Bruhath Bangalore Mahanagara Palike (BBMP), is the agency responsible for maintaining the infrastructure and civic amenities of Bangalore and recently I tried to lodge a complaint with various authorities of BBMP on the state of drainage in my locality. Read below to find out what happened

"postmaster@bmponline.org"
hide details Sep 23 (12 hours ago)
tobalu036@gmail.com
date
Sep 23, 2008 12:26 PM
subject
Undeliverable: Please clear this Chikungunya/Dengue Mosquito breeding centre
in Indiranagar

Joint Commissioner (East) BBMP email id
jce@bmponline.org
The recipient's mailbox is full and can't accept messages now. Microsoft
Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please try
resending this message later, or contact the recipient directly.
------------------------------
Sent by Microsoft Exchange Server 2007

*Delivery has failed to these recipients or distribution lists:*


PRO (BBMP)

pro@bmponline.org
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Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please try
resending this message later, or contact the recipient directly.
------------------------------
Sent by Microsoft Exchange Server 2007


Public Grievance Cell (BBMP)
pgcell@bmponline.org
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Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please try
resending this message later, or contact the recipient directly.



One of the two things is quite possible:-
1. These officials have not accessed their mail boxes for ages.
2. BBMP is functioning so pathetically that complaints come to is mailbox like swarm of bees.

Either way it only reflects the sorry state of affairs of a premier Indian City which claims itself to be the Silicon Valley of India. Talk about e-governance.

The invisible cultural divide that existed in Bangalore

This great cultural divide of Bangalore existed once. Thankfully growth of IT sector has meant that no longer this divide is sustainable. Bangalore till late 90s was divided into two cultural zones viz Bangalore South and Bangalore Cantonment. People who have been living in Bangalore for long will remember and relish this artificial barrier which existed in Bangalore for several decades

Bangalore South consisted mostly of the local population and the Cantonment area had a sprinkling of people from various regions, religions and languages. Bangalore South was famous for its conventional way of life whereas the Cantonment was more westernized due to the presence of a substantial number of Anglo-Indians present there.

One particular area in Bangalore South West was famous for streets full of people belonging to the same sub-sect. People would be ready to let their houses for a lower rent to a person belonging to their same sub-sect. The influence of Britishers on Bangalore Cantonment is pronounced. When you come to Bangalore Cantonment, you can find a large number of Churches and Christian institutions. Hardly there would be anybody in Bangalore Cantonment who has not been associated with a Christian institution either as a student or patient. Even the most conventional Hindu families have a picture of Mother Mary/ Infant Jesus in their pooja rooms. A unique future of Bangalore Cantonment is that in an undivided family, you could find members practicing three different religions and yet living cordially. Hindus coming from Bangalore Cantonment were looked down upon by their South counterparts as “The soiled Hindus”. You could never maintain homogeneity of culture, diet and language if you stayed in Bangalore Cantonment for a length of time.

I still remember for a person to go to work in Bangalore South from Cantonment and vice-versa was a major issue. Shifting houses from one region of Bangalore to other was considered to near blasphemy. Bangalore South is famous for its splendorous temples, ashrams, Hindu colleges, superb vegetarian restaurants, good bus connectivity, etc.

With passage of time and increased commercialization, this barrier has slowly fallen. You have a lot of people coming from other states/countries. Moreover, apartment culture has taken the place of Independent houses and the homogeneity of many a conventional area has been lost. As they always say “Change is always for the good”.

I cannot be God's Warrior/Salesman

The number of warriors for various Gods has increased multi-fold. Be it the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Kashmiri Mujhadeen, Bajrang Dal and the ever promulgating Evangelists , all claim to believe strongly in their religion and champion its cause in their own nerve wrecking methods. To ensure that their God wins, they don’t mind killing people of other faiths; defaming other’s Gods and destroying other’s God’s religious places. God obviously does not employ/pay anyone to fight wars on his behalf. Thus, it would deduce that these self-appointed warriors for God are obviously those who lead their lives 100% as per their God’s preaching’s and hence are fighting for his cause voluntarily. However in my case, I am not leading life the way my or any God did so during his lifetime.

I can never be the uttam purush that Sri Ram was. He bequeathed his right to be a king because his father asked him to. I would not give up my power even if the whole world asks me to go. He was the symbol of marital fidelity but this quality of mine gets shaken every time a beautiful female passes by me. If I was him, I would have chopped off the washerman’s head who dared to talk ill about Sitaji.

Jesus could forgive even Judas but I bear grudge against my friends who don’t favor, pamper and boast about me, leave alone betrayal. Jesus asked to show the other cheek if somebody slapped you but I retort every allegation against me with double the ferocity. Jesus went to find the lost lamb but I don’t have the patience even to wait for a friend who has lost his way a bit.

Islamic laws talk about charity in the form of Zakah (donating 2.5% of wealth one has) and Khoms for money is done by taking the fifth of the increment or the increase in the income stored after one lunar year, and this is done after paying debts or bills (if any). I don’t donate even 1% of earnings but look to usurp others. The holy laws also prohibits greed, drinking and prescribes stoning to death for a thief, etc. I won’t follow all those either on the grounds that it is a modern world or that it is anti-human.

Thus, it is quite clear that I am not qualified to fight for God because I have not emulated anything which he has prescribed. Does it mean that all those who are fighting on behalf of God have fully followed his teachings? I leave it to your discretion to decide on this issue. There is no point in fighting for God without truly believing and following what he prescribed. No God has asked his devotees to plant bombs for him, destroy places of worships and lure people into believing him. If we truly emulate the principles of any of the Gods, we won’t be able to hate our fellow human beings. Let us stop fighting over whose God is the ultimate God. God is best kept within the confines our heart, mind and actions. Don’t make God a commodity or a concept to be sold. This world has more serious issues of poverty, hunger, floods and above all global warming to fight. Let us fight to save our future not to decimate it.

Chikungunya/Dengue Mosquito breeding Centre in Bangalore thanks to BBMP

The attached video is of a Chikungunya/ Dengue Mosquitos breeding
centre at 14th Cross, Indiranagar 2nd Stage, Bangalore 560038, which is
flourishing thanks to the laxity of Bangalore Mahanagara Palike (the
authority in charge of ensuring public health and drainage
maintenance). Water stagnates in this drain and no action is taken to
clear its choking. Now it has become a breeding place for mosiqutos.
Chikungunya has broken out in Karnataka and it seems BBMP is only
facilitating spreading of such diseases. In this case citizens are to
be equally blamed for dumping various wastes in the drain.

An owl on my back

The phrase “getting monkey of the back” is quite popular. How about an owl on your back? A couple of days back an owl got perched to the extension of my office window right behind my seat. Since there is a lot of greenery in my office campus, a lot of doves and occasionally crows sit near the window but this was the first time an owl had come. I did not notice it as I was engrossed in my work. After attending to the routine briefing of my boss, I came back to my seat, when a few office boys were trying to shoo it off. The owl would have none of it and stuck to his guns. It was only then I came to know about this owl on my back. Possibly it was hurt or just waiting for dark to set in. I shooed them asking them to mind their own business.

Somebody asked “Are you not worried about an owl so close to you?” I replied “It is only the owl which has to be worried about getting so close to human beings”. Next came a fortune teller, who told “This is auspicious, you will get lots of money” I replied “Yeah like you I am also due for the sixth pay commission arrears”. I also asked him whether the owl would not run into bad luck because of sitting on my window. He went off saying “You are always indifferent”. Somebody else remarked both have an equally grumpy face, I replied “No, I win hands down”.

Like in any other Government office, there are a set of jobless persons in ISRO also. They were discussing the issue as if a tiger was sitting on my window and how I was unmoved. My window pane became a place of site seeing for the jobless in the office. If only I had charged a viewing fee, I could have made a neat amount to finance me for a Gold Class film in PVR.

I don’t know what an owl eats, so I slid a biscuit through the window. It did not budge an inch. I tapped on the window; it gave me a hard look and later turned the other side. Possibly it found my face more disgusting than it has. A couple of crows came to attack/play with it, it was helpless and started screeching, I chased them away. It did not even give me a look of gratitude and continued with its wait for sunset. I kept some water for it but it did not drink that also. Is this the reason why people scold a simpleton “Ullu (Owl in Hindi)”

It was almost 6pm when my boss called me. I came back only to see that my little guest had flown away in the darkness. So my initial instinct was correct, it was just waiting for dark.

I could not name him though the name “Shi…… Pat…….” did cross my mind. I gave it up least of all the owl should sue me for insulting its entire creed.

Ads that linger in my mind

Ads have become an inevitable part of our lives, more so, if you are a couch potato. I remember the days when we were required to pay tax for keeping a radio or TV. That was the only revenue for these authorities. With the advent of TV ads, this system went out of vogue. In the plethora of Ads, only a few stay back in our memories and they linger for ever. Such of those ads which linger in my mind till date have been keyed below with most of them from the 80s and a fair sprinkling from the 90s as well.

The first major TV ad I watched was “Only Vimal” during the dreadful India – West Indies series of 1983.

The first smartest ad one can recall was for the Godrej Shaving Cream, wherein one guys takes a market survey of all men with the standard question “Sir, which shaving cream do you use?” and at the end a bearded man turns back and asks “Me?”.

Liril was a blasphemous ad those days with a semi-nude women going under the waterfall in a bikini. As a growing boy, I could watch it only when my parents were not around. Bombay Dyeing was such an enticing and seductive Ad.

The ad that created its first celebrity should be “Lalitaji’s Surf Ad”. The ad by nature was a simple product comparison but the way it was enacted was legendary. The name “Lalitaji” became synonymous with “Samajdhari”. Dabur Lal Dant Manjan ads made the “Masterji” quite a celebrity, for his question “Ramu, tumhare danth motion jaise kaise chamak rahen hain?”( I don’t remember the exact wordings).

The biggest cricketing ad was reserved for Kapil Dev in Palmolive da Jawab Nahin for Palmolive Shaving Cream. Gavaskar had his own Dinesh Suiting. There was also Srikkanth modeling for Bournvita and Sri Chakra Tyres. Later came Kapil’s Boost is the secret of my energy.

The first funniest ad was the Bajaj Bulb ads. It was such an innovative idea for projecting the longevity of Bajaj Bulbs. It describes how a Bajaj Bulb was responsible for exposing a man’s transgressions from childhood till old age. Equally interesting was the “Sunday ya ho Monday Roz Kahon Ande” for the National Egg Promotion Council. Chal meri Luna for Luna was not far behind as was the first ad for “Maggie- 2 minute Noodles”. Jalal Aga's “Pan Parag” Ads were equally funny. The king of funny ads was Jaffery – Pankaj Kapur, Maggie Tomato Ketchup “Its Different”.

The first concept ad I came across was Tata Steel’s “We also make Steel”. Bajajs “Humara Bajaj” is of legendary propotion since it epitomized middle class aspirations of those days. Mile Sur Mera Tumhara wets my eyes and heart even today so does the animation film “Ek aur Anek”.

The best innovation ad was from Onida “Neighbour’s envy, Owners pride”. Pepsi with Aamir Khan and Aishwarya Rai was not far behind. Kelivinator’s the coolest one with a penguin was cute and innovative. The Vicks ad in which a boy gets drenched to get a bouquet for his mother on her birthday was innovative and heart warming.

The Five Year Plan ads (the same visuals used to be played for five years before being changed) were the meaningless “Apne Chabi se Khulne” Wale Linc Lock ads and Colgate which was such a poor advertiser those days. Nirma, Lijjat Papad also came in the same category.

There are many more ads which were brilliant and I have mentioned only those which I could remember. The main thing about all these ads was there was not much of a technology but more of human emotions and intelligence involved.

My dramatic debut at reaching home late

I am on the Government rolls but working for a schedule oriented organisation like ISRO means as good as working for a MNC and reaching home late is but inevitable. In addition to the work schedule, once in a while I party with my friends though I am a teetotaler. None of the reaching home late was as dramatic as the first time I reached home late.

My debut in reaching home late happened when I went to pay the fees for a professional course. At that time I was in second year of my degree course and was passionate about becoming a cost accountant. I was staying in Banaswadi and the institute was located in Basavangudi atleast 25 kms away from my home. Given the pathetic state of mass transport in Bangalore at that time, this was quite a distance to travel. My mother would not let me go by cycle and hence I was forced to go by bus. I reached the institute pretty late at 7pm, though I left home at 4pm. The queue was lengthy and at around 8 pm, I reached the cash counter. The clerk pointed to me that I did not enclose photocopy of certain documents and asked me to get one. By the time, I could be back it was nearly 8.45 pm, I paid the fees and went to the NR Colony bus stop. I had to board a bus to Shivajinagar. A bus going towards the Majestic bus stop came and the conductor urged me to get into it saying it was the last bus. I would have none of it and continued to wait.

It was getting close to 10pm and I began to feel jittery since I have never been away from house all alone. There was no phone in my home or any neighbour nearby to communicate the mess I was in. Since I was fairly adept at the geography of this locality, I started walking towards Gandhi Bazzar and there I just missed the last bus to Majestic. My heart started thumping because I did not know how to reach home with the limited cash of Rs.20 I had in my pocket. I madly started walking towards National College Road. On the road, a cop stopped me seeing my helplessness. I explained him my situation and also that I had only Rs.20 in my pocket. The good guy he was, he gave me a twenty rupee note and asked me to take an auto. He stopped an auto and asked him to take me upto my house, where I would pay the fare. The auto driver understood my situation but explained to the cop that since he was driving from morning he could not drive that far and assured him that he would drop me till Shivajinagar. The cop took his details as well as my brother’s office number and sent us.

As promised, the auto driver dropped me upto Shivajinagar at around 11:15 pm. After paying him I was left with Rs.10 in my pocket and a distance of 10 plus kms to travel. Having reached Shivajinagar, I heaved a sigh of relief. I knew another 5 to 6 kilometers of walk, I could reach my nearest relative/friends house. I walked for a couple of hundred meters when I saw a HAL bus coming. I just waved my hand and asked him “Banaswadi”. He replied “ Maruthi Sevanagar”. That was ok with me, because this place was only 3 kilometers from my home. I hopped onto the bus and the employees inside asked me what I was doing there at that time of the day. I explained them the situation and the driver refused to take money from me.

I got down at Sevanagar at around 11:50 pm, only to find my Father standing at the bus stop frantically looking at each passing vehicle. I thought he would thrash me but he understood something wrong should have taken place and asked me “What happened?” I explained him what had happened and he just smiled it off appreciating my quick thinking after 10pm. He was equally critical of my inability to take the Conductor’s advice. The next day the cop called up my brother to check up if I had reached home safely.

I always had a negative thought about cops but this cop changed my perception. Till date, I don’t wait for a direct bus no matter what time of the day it is. These were the two biggest lessons I learnt from that eventful night.

When the groom's dress went missing! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. ha!ha!

I despise marriage receptions which start half an hour beyond scheduled time, to the extent that I have walked out of such functions in the recent past. I feel that it reflects that the hosts don’t have any respect or regards for their guests because the same set of people don’t have any problem in starting the muhurat on time the very next day even if it is at 3am. Possibly we fear the unknown stars more than respect the known guests.

When I got married all my emphasis was that the reception should start on time. The reception was scheduled to start at around 630pm and almost till 5pm I was personally monitoring the situation. The custom in my place is that the groom’s dress will be given by the bride’s side before the marriage reception. At around 5pm, I went to receive the esteemed dress but found my in-laws blinking at each other. Nobody knew where my dress was and the only person who knew it was my wife and she had gone to the beauty parlour. Those were the days when mobile phones were not popular and it was decided that somebody would go to the beauty parlour to get the required information. Sensing the frown on my face, the informant came back in an iffy only with the news that the dress was kept in my in-laws house. Thankfully, their house was nearby and somebody went to fetch the dress.

He came back at around 6:10pm with the news that he was able to locate only the shirt and the tie. I could not digest that somebody could be so careless and construed it to be a deliberate act to defame me. I got ready to walk out from the hall only to be pacified by a couple of friends. Later it was revealed that since everyone was seeing the dress, with an intention that it should not get soiled, the same was kept under lock and key. When they left for the choultry, they forgot to pick the same or tell anybody about its whereabouts. By the time the dress arrived, whoever from my in-laws house came to pacify me got a very angry piece of my mind. I got very little time to dress up and the reception started with a delay of 20 to 25 minutes.

This is a funny-sour moment from my Marriage. I just can’t believe that anybody could have forgotten their son-in-law’s dress and turned up at the choultry. This thought brings a frown on my face. However, I got a nice stick to beat my wife with for the remaining life brings a smile on my face. Any marriage reception, we go, I pop the question to her “Hope the girl’s side have brought the groom’s dress?”

Vasu's eventfffffffffffffffful wedding

Indian Weddings are made memorable due to unintended incidents. What about a marriage which is full of incidents? I attended one such marriage of my friend’s (Venkatesh) brother Vasu in 1997. There was not a single moment of dullness in the entire marriage. The marriage was in Salem and a private bus was arranged. The bus had to leave at 6am but left at 8am. Venkatesh father who is notorious for his punctuality was chiding all for the delay but all his missiles were replied with giggles. A couple of hours in to our journey we stopped for breakfast. The menu was supposed to be idli, kesari bath and vada. The problem was one of the containers containing idli was left behind in Bangalore and there was a rationing of Idlis. Added to this we had to compulsorily gulp a lot of sambar. This was the sign of things to come.

We resumed our journey and as things would have it, the driver lost his way and strayed on the route towards Vellore instead of Salem. Thankfully, 20 kms down the route somebody realized the folly and we turned back. Venkatesh’s father who had vouched for a KSRTC bus smiled at Vasu and told “You won’t listen to me this is the problem with these private buses”. All of us were busy with our revelry and his words were lost in the din. Finally we reached Salem with a delay of four hours. Locating the choultry was not a problem because somebody from the bride’s side had come to the highway to guide us from there.

We settled down and had our lunch. The rituals had begun and Venkatesh got busy with his duties. I and my friend Anil decided to check out Salem roads and babes. The roads were bumpy and babes most of them were chubby. We decided to have a Coke. As most of them know, there is a penchant in Tamil Nadu for translating every English word into Tamil. So was the shop where we went to have a Coke, except that “Milk Shake” was written in English. Anil asked me “Is there no word in Tamil for milk shake?” I tried to whisper into his ears “aatna pal (shaken milk)” but as bad luck would have it came out in a very audible tone. The shopkeeper gave us a stern look but could not control his laughter and burst out laughing with us.

It was late in the evening when we decided to go for a second show. We went for the historic hysteric film “Kadal Kotai (Fort of Love)”. This film is so because two people fall madly in love with each other just over the phone and they continue to be lovers without seeing each others face. We came out of the theatre praising Indian Railways Coffee and the guy who spilled it on the Hero’s shirt because otherwise the film would never have ended. We reached the choultry only to find the gates securely locked. No amount of banging, shouting could wake up any one and we had to spend the night in the bus itself. Next morning we got our dose of advice from his father for being playful and childish.

The entire marriage ceremony was a typical South Indian Brahmin wedding. It has its own flair and joy. The driver of the bus told us that there was some minor maintenance work and he would get it done in an hour and be ready with the bus. After lunch, we packed up and came out only to find that the bus was nowhere to be seen. Immediately somebody from the bride’s side took a vehicle and went to the major garages of Salem. Three hours later the bus turned up. It seemed the driver had lost his way and was stuck a couple of streets behind. Not being well versed in the local language, he was not able to find his way out. Unfortunately, nobody cared to search for him a couple of backstreets. Having got delayed, it was decided that we would have our dinner and proceed. An urgent preparation was made and we proceeded towards Bangalore. The return journey had its own skirmishes with some family scores being settled through a lashing match. We were scheduled to return to Bangalore by 11pm but reached at 5 am the next day.

This was not the end of events of Vasu’s Wedding. A reception was scheduled in Bangalore for the next day. 400 guests were anticipated but a minor surplus of 100 turned up. Consequently, the entire food got exhausted and not a morsel of rice was left behind for us. The entire reception party had to go to a nearby hotel and have dinner. With that the curtains came on Vasu’s eventffffffffffful wedding. Vasu is now having two kids and well settled in life. Vasu’s wedding was the most eventful one I have attended in my life and going by the looks of it will remain so.

Funny SMS bar of Sun Music

Viewers of Sun Music (Tamil), Gemini Music (Telugu), Kiran (Malayalam) and U2 (Kannada) will know the sweet SMS that are transmitted on the screen. Hardly each message gets a look in of a couple of seconds but some people enjoy their message being displayed on the screen. I really appreciate the spirit and enthusiasm about life. Whenever I am bored, I do switch on to SUN Music or the ilk just to see the messages and have a laugh. I always think how nice it would be if I could instantly reply to these messages. Here is a sample of few of the delirious messages and much more scandalous replies I want to send

I love you_________________
My reply: Do you know who does she love? Or sorry, she is dating me

I love my wife/husband
Thank god, it is not your friends

I love my parents
Are they in an old age home that you are sending an SMS

I miss you____________
She is busy with me

Dear__________, Please accept me
You beg very well or you the top most SMS beggar

This song is dedicated to_____________ fans/only for______ fans
Why other actor’s fans should not see this song? Or what will you do if Jackie Chan fans see this song?

I will be updating this list as and when I come across new gems. It is really funny and you must have a special heart to enjoy this phun. This message bar goes blank to my eye when songs of Simran, Rambha, and Shriya are played.

The dear to life parking token

It was the summer of 1988, a big consumer fair was put in up Bangalore. Annual fairs came in a big way to Bangalore during the Mid 80s and everybody was bitten by its bug. I and my friend Venkatesh were no exceptions. Both of us went on a single cycle (talk about cycle pooling). We enjoyed a lot in the fair, made good eye contact with sweet lasses, had sweet lassi, popcorn, etc. Our ride on the giant wheel would have been heaven if only we had got two of our college girls to sit together. As cruel fate would have it, they sat in the box below us. We could see the mischievousness in their eyes which seemed to relish our disappointment.

After a little more roaming, we came out and went to the parking slot to take out our cycle. Venkatesh had misplaced the parking token and the stall owner won’t give us the cycle without the token. He gave us an option to wait till 10pm, if nobody came to collect the token, he will give us the cycle. This option was not acceptable, hence, Venky decided to go in searching for the coupon because he remembered to have thrown something from his pocket near a panipuri stall.

Nearly half an hour elapsed and he did not come out, so I went in and came back disappointed only to find neither the cycle nor Venky. The stall owner informed me that he had gone with the cycle. Sensing something strange, I decided to wait for him. After an hour, Venky came screaming at me. He related to me that he had found the token and came out to take the vehicle. He did not find me and thought I must be walking back home. He had gone upto my house only to find I had not reached home. Having realized what would have happened; he came back cycling the entire distance only to find me standing with popcorn. It seems that approximately, the same time, I went in, he had come out and the resultant comedy of error. We had a great laugh and went home. Till date, the receipt of a “parking token” rings an alarm in our minds. We value the “parking token” for our dear lives.

Press any key to continue!?ha ha

It was around 1993, I had enrolled for a computer course in one of the reputed institutions at that time viz., Brilliant Computer Centre. PCs with hardisk had not yet become popular and PCs with two large diskettes had to be used. One was the boot/program disk and other was the one in which we had to save our work. The first couple of classes were theory and there was an interesting specimen in the class. I will not name only not to offend regional sentiments. In 2 days of theory he came up with very funny questions about computer like “can we get shock through the keyboard?” etc, etc. Ours was the first batch which used to start around 6am. Hence, his presence in the class was cherished.

The day of the labs had come and I was expecting him to come up with some genuine doubt. So the instructor told us how to power on the PC, insert the boot disk and later the program disk, working disk, etc. We were all eager to work on the PC and started right away but our friend was stuck blinking at the monitor. The instructor walked upto him and asked “What is the problem, why are you stuck?” He in his typical English and mannerisms explained all the bla, bla and told when he inserted the program disk, the monitor is giving him a message “Press any key to continue” and our man wanted to know where on the keyboard is “any key”. The entire class went into peals of laughter. The instructor had the presence of mind, she took out her marker pen and wrote “Any Key” on the space bar and asked him to press it. Problem solved and he continued with his work to land up with some other “intelligent” queries later.

From that day till date, the phrase “Press any key to continue” brings a smile on my face and I have never stopped relating it to countless number of friends.

Celebrate do not irritate

Do we need to irritate others to celebrate? This is the thought that strikes me every year festive season breaks loose in India. India is the land of festivals. Other countries may have a festival or two but we have a season of festivals or rather should I say a festival for every reason and season. I am ok with public celebration of festivals but this right to celebrate does not mean a licence to decimate others peace of mind for days. Raising decibel and pollution levels does not mean celebration. Most people are vexed with this celebration but don’t come out in open due to fear of social ridicule and isolation. God can be appeased in a subtle and less torturous manner.

Our festival season kicked off with Ganesh Puja. This Saturday I was walking down the road when four consecutive road crossings blocked with Ganesh Pandals came to my notice. I am not against each cross having its own puja but the following questions impaled my mind; Is it justified to block for days entrance to a road by a Pandal? What about a student or a BPO employee who cannot sleep for days? How will an ambulance reach a patient given that the rear entry route is atleast a kilometer of narrowest roads? Are the raunchy film songs played in the Pandals not an insult and intimidation to the bachelor God Ganesha? Is it necessary to contaminate the ground water with lead paint when clay Ganesha would do (after all Ganesha never insisted to be painted in multi-color)? These questions are equally applicable to any religious/regional function which is more of irritation than a celebration.


Deepavali means chaos at its best. The race to be the first “cracker breaker” spoils the sleep of most on an otherwise colorful day. Nowadays, every festival and any festival, bursting of crackers are obligatory. The cracker that the Government bans as being unsafe becomes the most popular. Timings specified for bursting crackers are meant to be broken or else there is no point in celebrating a festival. Rockets which can such have a damming effect on the electric wires are such a darling. The most dangerous cracker is the 1000wallahs and the increased variations. Nobody has a right to make the roads a potential minefield for a few minutes of cheap thrill. What happens if an ambulance has to pass through and one of the 1000wallah variations has been set off? Why does not the Government ban this type of crackers and strictly implement the same? The Honorable Health Minister would do well to take care of citizen health during this Diwali rather than crazily going ahead to implement a no smoking ban. We have to worry about stopping terrorists from smoking bombs, not stop ordinary citizens from smoking in public places? I would like to clarify that I am a non-smoker

I stay in Indiranagar 2nd stage portion of Bangalore. Every year Shivarathri is celebrated in a nearby Eshwara festival. Despite being an atheist, I love the way it is organized and anticipate every year for Shivaratri to come. Music is played at acceptable volumes; the programmes and songs played are appropriate of a religious function and most importantly the organizers pull the curtains sharp at 10pm and the entire pandal is cleared within 15 to 20 minutes. When a festival is celebrated in public, there will be certain inconvenience. As stated earlier, we are a country of festivals and such inconvenience is a part of enjoyment but the vulgar way in which such public celebrations are organized makes it a source of irritation. I only hope the same sanity that is part of the Shivarathri celebrations in my locality prevails across the country.

A death trap for pedestrians in Bangalore (video blog0

Encroachment of Footpaths is a way of life in Bangalore thanks to the
laxity of the concerned authorities. More often than not the Pedestrian
risk their lifes and limbs to walk on the road. Here is an example of
the perfect death trap for pedestrians in Bangalore where neither they
have the footpath nor the road to walk.
This is the part of Indiranagar 100ft Road, Bangalore where the Metro
Rail work is going on. Vehicles are cramped for space and it is only
but essential that the footpath is kept clear. However, the concerned
authorities as usual are least both about the Pedestrians. The entire
stretch of footpath has been encroached in some way or the other
especially you will see between the 38th Second and 50 Second of this
video that a builder has dumped all this construction material on the
footpath leaving no space at all for the pedestrian to walk on the
footpath. Don’t know if the concerned authorities have seen this or
not?
What will happen, at best, a pedestrian may get run over by a vehicle.
A few vehicles will get burnt and compensation will be paid to family
of the victim. Life will be back to normal in a couple of days but the
spirit of footpath encroachment should carry on proudly

Energy rationing is fair

Fuel scarcity and power cuts have become a part of our lives. It affects our day to day schedule. We have to give up on many of the mindless luxuries that we indulged hitherto. We can no longer take a ride to the nearest chemist for buying obesity tablets. It is easy to argue that the Government should ensure adequate supply of fuel and power. Infact an actor turned politician in Tamil Nadu has told that you don’t require a power minister to tell that there is inadequate power supply. I know this person must have been playing to the gallery but then it is essential to remind ourselves of the famous Kennedy statement “Don’t ask what the country has done for you; ask what you have done for the country”.

Petrol companies are listed companies on the stock exchange and answerable to their shareholders. They can’t go on piling up losses in the face of high crude oil prices and not invoke the ire of investors. Similarly most of the electricity boards across the country have been restructured with loans from World Bank, etc. A commitment was made that energy subsidies would be eliminated but we have gone back on the same. Ensuring uninterrupted supply of power would mean buying from private parties at market rates and selling at subsidized rates. Finances of the most state energy boards are fragile, where will they go for funds?

Going back to the famous Kennedy statement, are we ready to do the following for the energy/fuel situation of the country:
Pay at market rates for these precious resources.
If we are unable to pay, accept gladly that rationing is a fair deal.
Try to look at alternatives wherever affordable i.e. those of us who can afford should go in for solar geysers/solar home lighting; walk distances less than 2 kilometers; use more public transport; try to implement the idea of car pooling wherever feasible.

The typical Indian mindset seems to suggest that Government is distinct from the citizens. Government derives it powers and limitations from its citizens especially when it comes to financial matters. We cannot infinitely be looking to the Government to dole out free lunches. Barrack Obama while accepting the Democratic nomination for Presidency spoke of “Individual Responsibility” and “Mutual Responsibility”. Terms which are totally inapplicable for India, it seems, given that we have a legion of petty minded leaders.

Pathetic state of a prominent road in Bangalore, India

This video clipping is taken at JC Road, Bangalore opposite Fun World. This video was taken on 28/08/2008 at around 9:15 am after the overnight showers. This video clipping was taken from a moving bus through a mobile by an amateur. Hence, kindly apologise the poor video quality. Coming to the video clipping the following points may be noted:-

a. JC Road is en-route to the Bangalore International Airport and any traffic obstruction here can affect the movement of traffic to BIA.

b. JC Road is not a low lying area and has a lot scope for the drainage to be improved. It is just that drainage has never been maintained properly.

The state of other roads in Bangalore may not be better given the apathy and indifference towards infrastructure by the authority assigned this responsibility viz., Bruhat Bangalore Mahanagara Palike. This is the picture across prominent cities in the country because there is no accountability for these civic bodies. We have to pay our taxes and suffer from bad roads, non-draining storm water drains and encroached footpaths. Wonders, when our cities will become a decent place to live. Kennedy made the famous statement “Don’t ask what the country has done; Ask what you have done for your country?” He meant that in a country where the rulers have accountability but ours is a country where the Citizen has not got his Fundamental Rights and the Government does not believe in discharging its duties, expecting accountability is a far fetched dream, I suppose.

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A stock tip

It was late 2003, when Indian stock markets were about to boom. Anybody with a limited knowledge of how stocks operate could easily pick a stock which can give you 25-30% return in a very short term. I was fairly proficient in picking stocks and had a lot of “FrIeNdS” who used to call me up frequently for stock tips. One of them was an esteemed colleague of mine who wanted a stock tip every day. I had enough of this guy and wanted to get rid of me. I decided to give him a dose of my dry humor and was waiting for his call.

It was a Monday morning, when this guy called me up and started with his usual “plastic pleasantries” and came to his point “Any good picks?, Balu”.

Me “Yeah, sure, sure, there is a great pick and it is a multinational”
He “What is the name of the company and what line of business they are in”
Me “Sort of they create needs for new infrastructure and security equipments in countries wherever they go. Their model of business also creates lot of business for the health industry”
He “How many countries they are in?”
Me “No exact idea but they are fast expanding but everybody is after them”
He “FIIs”
Me “No even the internal agencies errr.. I mean investors”
He “How is the business model?”
Me “Very good ya, wherever they implement their plans, they create a huge impact, the first major one was in 2001 in US” (I hope everyone has guessed what I am talking about). The name of the company is TTC”
He “What TTC?”
Me: (laughing out) Taliban Trading Corporation, invest karega kya?.

Very sheepishly he kept the phone down and till date has not called me back for more than 3 years. He also avoids my path when we come across in the corridor. Now that is what I call is a Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish.

Look who is talking Constitution

Nightlife in Bangalore is banned after 11:30 pm and so also are discotheques. The Police Commissioner contends that his reduced the crime rate in night times. The same is debatable but this blog is to focus on profusion of Constitution by a regional outfit in a discussion on this subject conducted recently by a popular English news channel. This regional outfit has done its share of good work to the state, the recent one being raiding a rave party on the outskirts of the city. They compelled the police to apprehend the concerned and kudos to the work done by this regional outfit. They have the own share of glitches with the law mostly done to drive home their point of regional supremacy. This is what the spokesperson of this regional outfit spoke on the channel:-
There is a need to respect the Constitution by one and all.
We should be law abiding citizens
Our assertion of rights should not hurt others.
We should have civic sense.
A women appearing/dancing in half naked dress is wrong (Wonder why they don’t haul up the local filmmakers who do a much worse depiction of woman in their films).

This is not about only this regional outfit but the entire range of them across the country. We all know what is the record of regional outfits on the above points? Most of their agenda border on secession.

An elderly gentleman on the show asked this question but the spokesperson just nodded his head. The moderator also for reasons best known to her did not quiz the spokesman on this point. Hopefully, the nod is an assurance that in future they will practice what they preach for others.

It is a peril being a pedestrian in Bangalore

Recently a villager was killed by a speeding vehicle which was en-route to Bangalore International Airport (BIA). Admittedly the villager may have jay-walked across the road and got hit. If you were a pedestrian in Bangalore, you would admit that jay-walking on Bangalore roads is the only option left for pedestrians. This may be true of other cities also.
I have been on the BIA road quite a few times and don’t find very many places for the pedestrian to cross across the road. Today it can be argued that most of it is an empty landscape and hardly a few people cross the road but what happens a few months down the line, when the entire road will be buzzing with mega construction activity. First of all, I am not comfortable with the logic that traffic on this road should move unhindered. Even accepting that logic, why was not this stretch of road planned with more pedestrian underpasses, skywalks, etc? If we decide to go in for underpasses tomorrow, are we going to dig up the well laid roads? What a mockery of commonsense would that be but when has commonsense been the forte of city planners in Bangalore? Here I would like to point about Old Madras Road on Bangalore, which hardly has any safe avenue for pedestrians to cross the road. A zebra crossing is present only at four or five places starting from RMZ Infinity (near Ulsoor Lake) leading upto KR Puram Railway Station and even those are not respected by speeding motorists. This stretch of road is almost 10 kms.

It is more difficult to be a pedestrian in Bangalore than a vehicle owner. A pedestrian’s life and limbs are always in peril in Bangalore, thanks to the insensitive motorists combined with the apathy of the law enforcing agencies. Somehow it is assumed that pedestrian is not a part of traffic when the truth is one can escape from being a vehicle owner but not being a pedestrian. Two wheelers plying on footpath and the traffic cops remaining a silent spectator is not uncommon in Bangalore. In most traffic signals in Bangalore, vehicles wait for the green signal on the zebra crossing and the traffic cops hardly mind it leave alone fining such mindless motorists. It is normal for motorists to ply even when the traffic signal is for the pedestrian to cross and the traffic cops don’t even blink an eyelid.
Footpath as defined in the dictionary is “a narrow path for walkers only or a raised space alongside a road, for pedestrians”. In Bangalore it is a space exclusively reserved for the shopkeepers, garage owners, gas agencies to transact their business. Many of the corporation authorities don’t even know it is an offence and those who know it is one make a quick buck from the shameless small businessman. The traffic police who promptly book any vehicle for being parked in a no-parking zone do not mind when the footpath is fully obstructed. The pedestrians are left with no option but to walk on the road. Once in a while, one of them will get by a vehicle and people will burn a few vehicles but that does inspire neither the corporation nor the traffic police from cracking hard on the offenders. After all allowing such transgressions is so beneficial for both the parties.
From past few months, I have been trying to clear the encroachments on footpath in the locality where I stay. I have sent half a dozen complaints to various authorities in Bangalore Mahanagara Palike (Bangalore City Corporation) but no action has been taken. Last Friday on August 22, 2008, I called up the Joint Commissioner (East) office to check up status of the complaint. His P.A. attended the complaint and after first denying my complaint has been received, he told that the same has been forwarded to the concerned engineer. The answer which he gave next defined the peril of being a pedestrian in Bangalore “Sir, if we try to clear the encroachments on the footpath, Shopkeepers will shout at us”. Need I say more?

All for a better status

The one thing that drives us all is “Status”. Despite all spiritual garbs we don, there are very few individuals today who don’t aspire to improve their status, on a day-to-day basis.

Status as defined by the concise Oxford dictionary is “relative social or professional standing; high rank or social standing”. The catch word for me in this definition is “relative” and that is what triggers the “rat race” for the “human race”. We want to be better off than our relatives, neighbors, colleagues and competitors. The word “Status” is a typical double bind. The urge for better status has caused the human race to progress and also given it untold misery. Inventions, discoveries, ideas and wars are all a result of the urge for better status.

The urge for better status has progressed mankind from “Stone Age” to “Silicon Age”. The dream of better status for his countrymen propelled Bapuji to lead the freedom struggle. At the same dream for better status in the eyes of Jinnah lead to a painful partition which has continued till date. The dreams of better status for his race lead Hitler to his Machiavellian designs. The dreams for enhanced status of the deprived society, lead Dr. BR Ambedkar to scripting our Constitution (he would have definitely decried the depths which reservations has reached today) The collective dream for better status made Japan a super power after the pounding it got during the Second World War. The dreams for a better status in the early 90’s lead to collapse of communism across the East block countries.

Individual performance is enhanced due to a need for better status. Management graduates from slums; Business corporations from sheds; Super athletes from utter poverty are all the results of the urge for a better status. Status by most of us (including me) is perceived as possession of maximum material things. To an extent it is the correct but not the entire picture. Our perception of status is best defined as “Buying things which you don’t require, with money you don’t have, to impress people you don’t like”. EMI is only an enfant terrible of the wedlock between “urge for status” and “consumerism”. This definition explains why our credit cards have perennial unpaid balance; houses are filled with things we don’t use; relationships are filled with invisible walls; society is riddled with crime and corruption. The “urge for status” forces us away from our families, friends, health, ethics and morals.

If the motivation for status can be streamlined, we could become world beaters and better both the society and ourselves. Otherwise we would be left a woes, worries and families on the brink of collapse. Such a situation is not desirable for the society. The million dollar question is how to streamline this desire and it is certainly not by desiring less. Answering this question, would require another blog.

Once you are dead

“Once you are dead nobody remembers you and when you fail/falter very few care for you, there is nothing more important than you”. Sounds a very harsh statement to make, but life has taught me this over and again. This blog is not for the spiritually inclined but those who want material success and happiness.

Except grossly breaking ethics and betraying one’s motherland, I think it is fair for us to pursue anything to be happy and successful. There is no place for sacrifices in this world unless you are a lamb. Even they have the animal right guys to fight for them but nobody is there to protect the sacrifice of human emotions that takes place day in and day out in our lives. We have to guard ourselves against being sacrificed because there is no point in crying over spilt milk. We have to learn not to fall into the trap of sweet talking selfish people.

I am not against using people. Get used but ensure that it is mutual. There is no free lunch in this world. In today’s world, you don’t get what you deserve but what you negotiate. There are a billion of people out there who want to use you in the name of friendship and later discard. The difficult task is to avoid the friendship of a billion people but the easier way out is being one among them. There is no harm in being a Roman when you are in Rome.

Learn to negotiate everywhere in the outside world for your own happiness. Otherwise, when their purpose is done with or if you fail in life, most of them will discard you like an used tissue paper. Encash your cheque when the account is still in operation not after it is closed. No amount of crying or ranting or going down on the knees in front of such individuals will fetch you any sympathy but stern words which question of your intentions for being good.

Never mind if you have to play politics in office place if it gets you the required success. Even if you don’t play politics with others there is no guarantee that nobody else will dish out the same stuff to you. You don’t get anything for being noble at office space except self pity. There are two ways of going up in a office place; one you take the long arduous route of working sincerely up the ladder (I am all for it) and another by pointing out others mistakes. Have a judicious mix of these attributes, of-course with a heavy mix of the first route. Never let go your colleague’s mistakes (official only) just because he or she pretends to be your good friend. Keep a note of them, you may require it in the future.

I know this blog would seem to be negative but I have learnt that everything is not fair in this world and we need to play devil in real life more often than not. Even the most noblest of the souls many a times suffer and die, why should we mere mortals worry? Just go ahead and find your material success and happiness.

Movies which are carved in my mind

Movies are the best form of entertainment in modern times. They take us into a world of make belief. Movies sometimes create a stir in the society la Rang De Basanti. Here is a list of the movies (Commercial Only) which inspired me, captivated my imagination and of course entertained me.

Movies which inspired me

a. Life is beautiful (English) – A wonderful film about the travails of Jews during World War II. If only everybody could lead their lives the way the main protagonist of the film does, stress would become a non-existent word. Even when he is being taken away to be executed by the Germans, he neither flinches nor makes it known to his young son. His positive attitude is to be seen to be believed.

b. Ramana (Tamil) – This film portrays the fight of a college professor against corruption in the society. How a professor organizes a bunch of his students to kidnap corrupt officials from across the state and finally execute the most corrupt one, forms the crux of the story? I liked the scene in which he traps a dishonest hospital into giving treatment for a dead body. One more highlight of the film is when he makes appeal to the general public not to disturb law and order on his execution.

c. Saving Private Ryan (English) – Two sons of a widow are killed in second world war and a third is fighting the war somewhere in enemy territory. The army sends a small contingent of soldiers to bring him back. The film is to be seen to be believed especially the last few minutes.

d. Lagan (Hindi) – Skills not courage is what matters preaches the film. How a group of villagers learn the game of cricket to escape taxes is the story and how well it has been told? The scene in which Aamir Khan argues for the inclusion of a lower caste person in the team inspired me the most.

e. Border (Hindi) and Muthina Hara (Kannada) – I think these are the best two films made in India about war. Border brought to life the sheer courage of Indian Soldiers up against a huge Pakistani contingent whereas Muthina Hara amplified the futility of war. I am just in love with the last song of Border, very painful but very true. Muthina Hara should be the best Kannada film made till date but did not achieve the required box office success as is the case with most good films.


Films which captured my imagination

1. Sholay (Hindi) – leave alone the action just raise a toast to the friendship of Jay and Veeru. I can touch my heart and say I was never a friend like Jay to anyone, not even 25%.

2. Broken Arrow (English) – Not much of a story line but the breath taking action and the cool anti-hero character portrayed by Travolta is worth its weight in gold.

3 Cliffhanger (English) – A fantastic film in which Slyvster Stallione, a reclusive mountain rescuer eliminates the villains by his skills and not by his brawn in extreme temperature and high altitude.

4. Anand (Hindi) – How to be happy when death stares in your eyes every now and then? How bad you feel when all your knowledge can’t be of use to save someone you love? A simple story but a saga of human emotions.

5. DDLJ (Hindi) – I am not even an admirer of Shah Rukh Khan but this was one film when you want him to get the girl such was his portrayal of the character. At the end of the film, I was left praying that somehow Kajol gets on to the train. One of the best romantic films (most importantly with a happy ending) made in Indian films. I hate romantic films with a tragic ending.

Die Hard series, Speed, Independence Day are some of the films which are worth a mention in the category of films that captured my imagination. U-turn an English Film about what disaster adultery and greed can prove to be was one film which captured my imagination.

Films which entertained me

a. Amar Akbar Anthony (Hindi) I have no counts of how many poor mimicry I would have done in my college of the scene in which Amitabh in a drunken state tries to applies tincher to his mirror image. The title track and “My name is Anthony Gonsalves” still rings in my ears.

b. Most Amitabh films (Pre Shahenshah days) entertained me. Possibly the list of films which entertained me are too many to list. After all, I am not one who lands up at a movie for the sake of it.

Heart can forgive but never trust again

“Heart can forgive but never trust again”, this was the message I got from a friend recently and they have got carved in my heart since then. I somehow don’t support this logic and usually counter such messages but this one has left me dumbfounded. One more saying which I definitely don’t believe in is “Human relationships are like glass, once broken can never be put together again”. How can you equate human relationships with a piece of glass? Human relationships are so complex. We get happy, loving, angry, emotional and at times romantic with people whom we trust the most. A glass is just a non-living thing which can be recycled many a times.

Why does Trust break? I can think of reasons like failure to keep commitments; Betrayal; Financial Fraud and most importantly behaving contrary to the image we have about a person. At times, we fail in commitments made to our loved ones, either due to busy schedules; fit of rage; their own negative vibes in enforcing the commitments made, etc. If somebody failed on the minor commitments made to me, I give that person a through verbal spanking or put him off for a few weeks or months and get back again if he/she repeatedly felt sorry about that act. Erasing the trust in a person for small reasons is not good for one’s health and soul. Trust is not an ice cream which gets melted if the refrigerator is kept open accidentally.

Betrayal is serious and does result in loss of trust. I do find it difficult to trust a person who acts contrary to the image he/she has created in my mind. When the reasons are serious enough to break the trust in other person, it is good to actually break it. However, it is necessary when we break trust in another person, we tell them the reasons. Every person has a right to correct himself in life. If we tell a person reasons for loss of trust, he/she can correct himself. It is very inhuman and cruel to leave a person in suspended animation.

As much is as breaking trust is bad, so is also reckless losing trust in others. Breaking trust for trivial reasons is not fair. Every human being is entitled to his own aberrations in a relationship but that does not mean they don’t regard us or betraying us. It is just that once they were stupidly human. Being mentally strong is not being unforgiving. Of all the attitudes, the attitude to forgive is the greatest. Usually, the receiver becomes petty in his own eyes. I think our lives would be so pleasant if we can consign to emotional dustbin sayings like “Heart can forgive but never trust again”. I am yet to reply to this friend’s message. Maybe the comments on this blog would help me to do so because I am not able to find a slick but meaningful reply to it.

50-60% OFF, grab even if it is scrap

These are the days of rising prices and everybody is looking to get maximum goods at available incomes. In this milieu, we have given a go-by to the word “quality”. The middle class mindset has become so tuned to cheap products is that even if it is scrap they grab. Price is the only logic that prevails. This attitude is amplified when buying crockery; plastic items; cosmetics; toys; electronic goods and imported chocolates.

There has to be some sort of price comparison between a standard product and a cheap product. It can never be possible that economy crockery set that is offered by a standard manufacturer at Rs.800 can be offered by the cheap products vendor at Rs.120. Such cheap products are definitely made up of some toxic scrap. Time and again we have heard about toxic scrap being smuggled from other countries and they being put to various uses in our country. There is something called “Food Grade Material” which is offered by most standard manufactures and necessarily we have to buy them if we care for the health of our families. Dangerous diseases such as cancer, liver infections and other related problems are bound to affect us if we consume, prepare and store food in “Toxic” and “Non-food grade” material. The same is the case with low quality cosmetics whose use may lead to several such complexions. Even some of the food materials sold by some of the popular bazaars are not worthy of human consumption. Most of them are beyond the date of consumption, stale and spoilt. These are sold off during huge discount sales and saving melas. Buying a slightly costly but reliable product may seem an unwise exercise in the short term but if it could save us huge medical bills, melodrama in households and avoidable physical disorders, the unwise exercise is worth undergoing. Discretion is the best part of valour when it comes to health and hygiene.

Disciplining celebrites in India

Recently, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zenta Jones have been fined US$ 3K in Italy for wrongly docking their yacht. It was not long ago the famous Athlete Marion Jones was punished for drug abuse. The list is long and it feels sad that not even one celebrity from India has made it to the punished list except maybe Harbhajan Singh for the infamous slapgate.

Somehow in our country a celebrity is free to kill, break laws; encroach lands; have unlicensed arms and yet get away with it. The 24x7 news channels build such a sympathy wave for these guys, that we are lead to believe that the particular celebrity who otherwise had lead the life of a saint, should not be punished for a single act of aberration. I pity for the guy, who in this great democracy, was fined for filling a PIL in the court that it was wrong to give customs duty exemption to Sachin Tendulkar for his Ferrari.

The act of holding dangerous weapons is justified for the simple reason that Sanjay Dutt is a man of golden heart; how he helps the unit boys and most importantly he has acted in “Lage Raho Munna Bhai” which is wrongly claimed for promoting Gandhism. Salman Khan’s act of mowing down pavement dwellers and killing chinkaras is justified on the grounds that he is a good boy gone wrong. Arrest of these `noble souls’ is represented as the police system trying to find cheap popularity for itself. Refusal of bail to these `men of honor’ is projected as the ineptness of the judicial system. Stories on how these `freedom fighters’ had to suffer by sleeping in the jail; eating the jail food and how they had to suffer without the usual luxuries of life are made to look like `sacrifices for the country’.

It is time that we realized in our great country that celebrities are like anybody else and not above the law. Celebrities should be an example for others but in our country becoming one means a passport to a life of unruliness and getting away with it. When they break the law, they should be subject to the same ignominy like any other normal criminal of this country. If the police get publicity because of arresting them, so be it that is not their fault. A celebrity is easier to track down than an ordinary criminal. So for a particular act of crime, when an ordinary person goes untracked but a celebrity is trapped, there is nothing wrong with it. It is only the price he/she has to pay for being a celebrity and still breaking the law. After all, Caesar’s Wife has to be above suspicion.

Hang those strikers

Today VHP and its allies conducted chaka bandhs and road rokos across the northern parts of the country in protest against the injustice meted out to Hindus in the Amarnath Land case. Now I dont want to dwell into the genuniness of the cause. The issue is one old man in Noida and a youth in Kanpur who were seriouslly ill and being rushed to hospital, died because their vehicles could not move forward due to the traffic jams created by these people. Who will bring back these people to their families? who will look after the family of the youth who died?

Every bandh has its own stories. It is a merely a poplularity dance for most political parties and common people have to suffer. What is achieved by burning buses and cars during bandhs? Why should my car be burnt because some sadhus did not get their land? What is acheived in damaging commercial establishments? What is acheived by irritating commuters during bandhs? Who are the senseless guys who give permission for a road roko during the peak hours of 9-11 am? Why is their no law against holding bandhs and inconvincing people? why are not spots identified in the city where these people can hold the protests without inconvincing people? Why are the courts dont pass strictures that no bandh should be held throught the city and those political parties who disobey its orders be banned? How long will people will keep quiet to such political goondas without remorse or regret for their actions?Why do people vote for parties who inconvince them so much?

The Government will never pass a law banning bandhs. It is time the courts stepped in and levied heavy fines of Rs.50 crores on every political party that holds a city wide bandh or protest. It should also ban such political parties/leaders from contesting elections. Meanwhile what action will be taken against those leaders who were responsible for the two deaths today? The court should identify the main leaders and hang them to death or put a fine of Rs.10 crores and deposit the amount in a bank to take care of the families. The leaders responsible for this incident should be deported from the country itself. Their kith and kin should be denied rights of education, passport and other facilities for next 10 years. Self serving idiots have to be told lessons in the most meanest way to make them understand the pain of others. I am sorry for some inappropriate language in this blog but when I came back from office and saw a bullitien containing these gory facts, I had to just blog it without waiting for the appropriate words to come across. Wish the Courts pass an historic judgement banning bandhs and imposing strict action on strikers on the Independence Day and liberate the country from these scums of the society.

Attached bathrooms, detached families

Attached bathrooms, detached families would be the ideal way to describe the emerging trend of family system in India.

Everybody wants to stay in their own shell and nobody has the patience to wait and tolerate one’s own family members. Privacy is more important and the good old intimacy is being done away with.

 Leave alone sharing bathrooms, we can’t view even television together. More and more houses have multiple television sets. Everybody is couched safely in their comfort zone and communication between family members is usually the mandatory pleasantries.

There is no need to write an obituary for the Joint Family system in India because it is long dead. The pity today is that even the nuclear families are not jointed.

It is not uncommon in certain households when grown-up children don’t come to the drawing room, when parents are at home. People have started living as individuals and not as a family. The freezers in our heart are more powerful than those in our fridges. We have lost the heart to excuse family member’s shortcomings however intimate the relationship maybe. We have powerful vacuum cleaners but they can’t clean the clogs in our relationships. Everybody wants to win with their egos but everybody is losing their lives

Today the hectic work schedules and school timings mean multiple keys to the same house. Going by the ever increasing extra marital affairs, it seems that even our hearts have started having multiple keys.

We have come up with the wonderful concept of open kitchens but usually the most worked device is the microwave ovens to fill the stomachs of couples who are working in different time zones. Family dining halls have become fashionable but hardly the family gets together to enjoy the environs. Our bed rooms may have air conditioners but our hearts are seething with anger. The bed room may have romantic colors but not the life lead in it. The beds have become broader it seems only for the couples to find their own corners in times of a dispute.

How happy are those homes which still fight over a bathroom?
How happy are those homes which have less to eat but a lot to share?
 How happy are those homes when people come to open doors and forgotten fights?
How happy are those homes somebody is there to feed the kid when he/she comes back from school?
How happy are those rooms where there are more people than bedrooms?
How happy are those rooms where still the fight goes on for a single remote?
 Let us do everything to share, care, fight, forget, eat and enjoy with our families. We let slip the wonderful joint family system, let the nuclear families not go the American way.
Let no kid die in her room, with parents not being able to hear her.
Let us pledge to uphold the great Indian Family.
Let us undo the great saying” Money is their god and how to make it is their religion”.

Scrap that term “quality time” our families need both quality and quantity time to ensure that it survives

An infrastructure mess in cox town, bangalroe

One of the best examples of infrastructure mess in India should be the Cox Town (Bangalore) over bridge. The only demand of the residents over there was a small over bridge over the railway gate which would ensure that traffic does not come to stand still when a train passes. As fate would have it our system does not like to do anything simple and sleek. Instead they went into for nearly a KM long flyover and the construction of the same is going on for years and possibly for a few more.
Reasons for delay is one part of the woe but the main woe is did Cox Town require such a swanky flyover? Why is that in our system any infrastructure solution is big? Why can’t we think small and effective? Does it pay for the powers to be of our system, if a project is big?
Ask anybody who has been to Cox town during the pre-flyover construction days, they will tell you that such a big bridge was a total waste. Cox town was a locality developed by the Britishers and Wheeler Road (where the bridge is being built) had wide roads to rival any locality in Bangalore even from the 80’s. The road was easily divided and there was no problem in the flow of the traffic. All that was required was a small flyover or underpass, at the railway interjections to avoid clustering of traffic. Subsequent to the construction of the mega-flyover, all the small businesses in the main road will get badly affected. The bridge is getting completed perennially. All that citizens can do is to take out frequent protest rallies
Cox town flyover is one of the many infrastructure messes of this country. We build mega flyovers and bridges where it is not required. The projects never get completed on time further inconvincing people. Can we never think small and sleek when it comes to infrastructure project? Why invest on projects which have no need in the first instance? It maybe glamorous to go in for big projects, but let these people remember two things, the project is being executed at the cost of the tax payer’s money and second the money can be used elsewhere more profitability even for building a flyover elsewhere.

The All mighty Internet

Internet has changed the way we live beyond recognition. Internet is a great boon for families with friends and relatives staying far away or abroad. No longer have you to depend on snail-mail or phones for enquiring welfare, there are the friendly to use emails and chat messengers. Family functions videos can be uploaded in sites which have such facilities. Transfer of money from abroad takes place at the snap of a finger.

Email has touched even the most obdurate Government Departments. I was surprised to find that I could get a response from the Indian Railways on a complaint about corruption in their Department. In the recently concluded Karnataka Assembly elections, I could get precise information about my name in the voter list. It is more reliable to scan and send a signed letter through email, than by fax or post. Many of the institutions conduct their exams online to avoid paper leaks and to give quick results. Exam results are available online to avoid anxiety for students and parents alike. Filling of tax returns online should be mandatory to avoid wastage of paper.

Access to information has become very easy with internet. I still remember the struggle I had to undertake for collecting information for a school/college assignment/essay/debate. Today all that you require to know is how to use a search engine. Students can download model question papers for exams. Tourist information, recipes, pictures, economic data, sporting statistics, movie gossips, etc is available at the click of a mouse. Booking an airline ticket, hotel rooms, movie ticket, paying utility bills can be done without moving an inch.

Trading of shares online is a great boon for the small investors. Gone are the days when you had to linger behind the sub-brokers for buying a share and waiting months for its transfer. E-shopping is yet to catch up in India mainly because of lack of trust on the customer’s part about the quality and also lack of variety in the products offered. E-shopping will never be safe because the hackers will be always ahead of the system. If we refrain from e-shopping on this account, we should also refrain from using our debit and credit cards. It was recently reported that in the US, hackers stole customer data from major shops through their laptops. Their modus operandi was simple, sit in a car with a laptop and trap all credit/debit card transactions and download vital data. They have used this data to defraud many innocent shoppers.

The best contribution of Internet is getting the world together. You can communicate your opinions to a wider number of people. You can post a video in Youtube on deforestation in your place and get global attention for it. Recently, I could clear an encroachment of public property because I told the concerned authorities that if they don’t clear the same, the images of the same will be posted in the internet with their names. Blogs are such a boon for professional and amateur writers alike. Articles/Poems without the required finesse can be shared, appreciated, criticized and understood thanks to the internet. I could associate with a NGO viz., Leadcap thanks to Orkut.

Internet is being misused like any other invention. Internet per se is not bad. Internet in future could give us alerts if our dear and near ones are in trouble. Internet should be enabled to prevent corruption and bring governance to our doorsteps. Internet should be able to educate the literate on civic sense and penalize them when they err. Shopping in internet should be made secure through genetic signatures. There are many a dreams for internet but it will find its own way. After all nobody guessed it to dominate our lives the way it did. The next generation Hotmail, Google or Blogspot may be germinating in some mind or system in the World Wide Web. Like the almighty, it is omni potent and omni present.

Avoid the lure of easy money

There is a proverb “The lamb always believes the butcher”. The same logic seems to apply to middle class wanting to earn that extra buck. They always end up with guys who swindle their money. Be it the chit funds, the MLM’s or the “stock market” investment schemes which promise 200 to 300% returns, these swindlers have a field day and most of them never get caught.

The unjustified and irrational greed of people who go and invest in such schemes is to be blamed. It is virtually impossible for the law enforcing agencies to keep a watch on every such scheme in a vast country like ours. The RBI frequently comes out with advertisements in various media warning people against such schemes. The police in some cases have traced the culprits and tried to recover the amount but given the long and winding process of law suits in our court, it takes ages and generations for one to recover the money.

People have to be intelligent enough to understand that when the best bank in the country itself cannot give more than X% of percent, how can an individual give X+10% or 20% returns? Either he is defrauding the people or he is investing in too very risky business, in which the chances of a failure are more than success.

MLM are one more form of defrauding money. I do agree that some of the MLMs are very good and help people to earn that extra amount of money. However, this is applicable only to MLMs which have a varied product base. Most of the MLMs just operate on the basis of you join and also join two on your left and two on your right (when we pull the shutters, you get a kick on the middle from all those you joined in our scheme). There is no product sold and money made. How do people expect such schemes to earn them money? I was part of an MLM. There was no problem with the MLM but there was an affiliated training program which sucked my interest out of carrying on the business. This training program required buying lots of cassettes, book and attending countless meetings. More than selling the product, emphasis was laid on getting newer people to the meetings and selling cassettes. The cassettes were priced at ridiculously high rates. Books were priced at higher rates than what you can get the original version for in reputed book shops. Unnecessary hype was created about those who addressed the audience in the meeting like “My children go to the same school as xxx cricketer in Australia”, etc, etc. Those who would want to do a MLM business would do well to avoid such shady training schemes.

Most investment analysts say that a return of 30-40% in the share markets is very good and if it is in the range of 70-80% in a year, such investments are considered multi-baggers. You can make 200-300% returns in the market if you stay invested over a period of 4 to 5 years but not in a matter of 5 or 6 months. Anybody who promises such returns needs to be reported to SEBI and investigated upon. Our people will instead handover the life savings to such cronies and later scream that the market is full of scams.

People have to get realistic. The lure of easy money is tempting for one and all but there is no such thing called easy money. Earn extra money the intelligent way not the greedy way. Have a check whether the returns promised are feasible. Find the credentials of the person who is promising the returns? A swanky rented office means nothing when they call it quits.

Most pathetic use of internet

Internet is a free place. I think after the invention of wheel, this is the most revolutionary invention of mankind. You can use it anyway you like. You can use it to communicate with friend, conduct business, voice your opinions, spread your faith, etc. The most disgusting use of internet should be using it to spread superstition.

Time and again I have come across wonderfully worded emails ending with if you don’t forward it to so many people within this much of time, you will be cursed with bad luck for this many years. One more email such and such a god will bring you bad luck if you don’t forward this email so many people. In addition it contains vivid details of what good happened to those who forwarded these mails and disasters that occurred to those who did not.

My theist friends may please excuse, God is unable to instantly punish those who commit physical crimes, how can he do that to those who commit cyber lapses? He is the almighty and known to tolerate the transgressions of his devotees several times. So by practice he is compelled not to punish anybody instantaneously. How can he punish anybody with bad luck for several years for not forwarding an email? It is fun for most and ignored. There many a weak minds who panic on reading such emails and act haphazardly.

Using Internet to spread superstition is its most pathetic use. Earlier households used to get chain letters on such subjects. It seems the pathetic minds have an equally obdurate second generation which is bent upon creating a fear in the minds of people. There are good possibilities such guys are spammers and have inserted a worm alongwith the mail to get access to various email ids. I don’t believe in such stuff and give the kitchen sink (covered in velvet) to those who dare to forward me such mails and at times I have found out the source and given him/her a piece of mind. God and customs are a matter of personal choice. There is no harm in anybody forwarding a God picture even to an atheist like me but don’t put out such coercive messages which ultimately demeans the God you are supposed to be glorifying. Most importantly don’t use cyber space to foster your irrational thoughts.

Is formal dressing a corporate fuss

I support formal dressing because it promotes certain amount of discipline and uniformity to the work place. Every office should have a dress code. I am from the Government service and at time feel disgusted with the way some of my colleagues dressing sense. Either some of them are in the perennial party mood (especially ladies) or some of them come in a clumsy way.

Having cleared my stand on formal dressing, I am equally disgusted with the parameters for formal dressing some of the companies have prescribed for their employees. Irrespective of the air conditioning inside the office, a three piece suit looks out of place in Indian weather conditions. I think a plain shirt (in acceptable colors) worn with a formal pant and black shoes does look as formal as a three piece suit worn with all the grandeur. I am yet to understand the practical reasons for wearing a tie. Somebody please educate me on the uses and need for a tie to be worn. Just imagine the plight of an employee with spondylitis required to wear a tie.

It looks as if formal dressing means aping the westerners. Yes, I do understand that we do business with them and have to look presentable in their eyes but that does not mean that we have to ape them. It is pitiable and disgusting to note that certain companies prescribe what constitutes a formal dress. It maybe argued that the employee has an option to quit a job which he is not comfortable but I am writing this blog in a free society and feel that an employee has a choice of dressing. Let the company define what does not constitute formal dress. I am not for attending a board meeting wearing a dhoti but at the same time don’t want offices to resemble schools. There is no dress code for me but I do ensure that I go to office in a dress which complements the organisation I represent and nature of job I do.

Thank God I Filed (TGIF) my tax returns

Thank God I Filed (TGIF) my tax returns before 31st July 2008. I am an ordinary salaried income tax payer who can never escape the clutches of the taxman. Even a hundred rupee increase in my salary is correctly accounted and appropriate deduction is made. I abhor paying a penalty because I did not fill a form that contained details of my income.

Out of curiosity, I tried to find out how many people in India file their returns and believe me or not, it is only 30 million who file their tax returns and 20 million of them are hapless salaried employees like me. The forms to file the tax returns are called SARAL and after nearly a decade of filing tax returns, I am wondering whether the meaning of SARAL as understood by me is correct or not.


I don’t want to delve too much into the divine intentions behind insisting on a tax return to be filed by a salaried employee except that you can further tax him for small capital gains and FD interest he/she earns. Salaried employees are the easily available flogging horses, so put in a penalty clause if they don’t file their returns by a certain date. It is such an innovative method to earn additional tax revenue.

I wonder what would happen if for a year or two, the tax department gives a “tax returns holiday” and goes beyond those who are at large and not paying taxes. It anguishing to note that even farmers who cultivate strawberries are exempt from income tax. Taxes should be collected from farmers who grow cash crops. I don’t think any of the small grocers pay income taxes nor do the vegetable mandiwalas neither the building contractors nor the small hoteliers nor the taxi owners. If at all they do pay, it would only be a token amount to keep away from the eyes of the taxman.

To say that there are only 3 crores people in India with a taxable income is the most absurd statistic. If that was true, how come the parallel economy is bigger than the national economy? How did the talks of bribery reach a crescendo during the current trust vote? Why is there so much benami property in the country? Why does not the IT Department instead of worrying about mundane tax returns concentrate its efforts on mapping each property in the country to its owner and demand for source of income to buy that property? Why does not the IT Department go to the streets and find out the real income tax offenders?

It is very easy to make the hapless salaried class pay through their nose and drain them till the last pie but that would never result in a transparent and efficient tax system. It is a shame that even after 60 years of Independence we are not able to do away with black money. The salaried person is pre-occupied with many issues on hand. Most of them have an extracting 9 to 6 job on his hand. He has to pay extra for the loans due to increasing interest rates because nobody will write off his loans or compensate his family if he commits suicide unable to bear the burden. He is sufficiently squeezed don’t wriggle him more. If you want an exact picture of the tax potential of this country, dear, taxman, get out of the comforts of your office and into the streets, you will find an Alibaba cave every nook and corner of this country. Not filling a tax return on time is not a crime neither on the financial or physical security of the nation.